SPEAKER_04: 0:00

So we have finally reached our penultimate episode 19.

SPEAKER_00: 0:06

So that should have given away that there are 20 episodes in this season.

SPEAKER_04: 0:11

Oh yeah. And and it's it's really exciting. And on top of the more exciting things, is we were just interviewed on someone else's podcast.

SPEAKER_00: 0:23

Very exciting. Our first podcast collaboration with another human. That sounded like we had collaborations with non-humans. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01: 0:35

Why does my mouth work this way?

SPEAKER_04: 0:38

I do not know. Are we doing it with the mooses or the aliens?

SPEAKER_00: 0:42

The mooses. The bears.

SPEAKER_04: 0:45

The bears. Ah yes, those bears.

SPEAKER_00: 0:48

So no, we had a we had a lovely friend from Australia interview us for his podcast, and that was very fun. And got quite deep. He asked some intense questions. So you guys will get to see that. I'm we're not sure when, at some point in the future. That's not our baby. Oh my gosh, I forgot to take take the overdub off. We have to start again. Your mood swings are really ridiculous, he said. I've never met anyone who is so hot and hot. So hot. Sorry. So hot and cold. No. That's actually the way to get in it. Whenever I do this accent, I kind of imagine going, fuck, motherfucker, shit. Like his swearing gets me in the mood for a Californian accent. But nothing else. And saying, you had the best goddamn cigarette in the world in your pocket and you weren't sharing. Your mood swings are really ridiculous, he said. I've never met anyone who's so hot and cold all the time. I didn't answer him. I couldn't be bothered. Oh fuck, I couldn't be bothered.

SPEAKER_04: 2:03

You couldn't be bothered.

SPEAKER_00: 2:05

I'm just, why are you so quiet again? I don't know. I haven't moved. Well, suddenly now you're louder. So basically, this mic wants me to dom it. The moment I'm like, what's your problem? It's like, okay, I'm covered.

SPEAKER_04: 2:21

See, I don't think it was just my old mic, by the sounds of it. Yeah. It's obviously you. Well, fine. Take me back for a refund. Replace me, why don't you?

SPEAKER_01: 2:37

No, I'll never do that. But what what I need you to do is keep your head still.

SPEAKER_04: 2:42

I practically was. The most I did was this. Which is my mouth is still at the same spot. Okay, you're fine. You're fine. Yeah, fuck you, buddy.

unknown: 2:53

Oh!

SPEAKER_01: 2:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 2:54

Yeah, get me in the mood. Get me in the mood to not be bothered. One more time. You can't be bothered to listen to Mike. Bless. Now I'm obviously just like her. Valid, valid reasoning. I'm just being a silly little moose, basically. Yes, you are. Hey baby. It still came out on little elvis.

SPEAKER_01: 3:16

How do I say it?

SPEAKER_00: 3:17

Hey baby. Hey baby. No, but you have to sound endearing. Hey baby. No. Hey baby. Hey baby. Huh? Yeah. Alright. 20 minutes later.

SPEAKER_04: 3:29

Don't swap the B for the T. What? I said don't swap the B for the T. Bratting or twatting.

SPEAKER_00: 3:41

That was not clear until you explained it. Don't swap the B for the T. I went through a lot of things in my head.

SPEAKER_04: 3:51

All the options this could be.

SPEAKER_00: 3:54

Pardon? There we go. I am capable of style. He smiled. But I didn't pick it out. I described that they'll kick up a chica.

SPEAKER_01: 4:09

What if we did the whole podcast just in gobbledygook like that? Everyone would hate it. Oh, what we should have thought about that for April Fools.

SPEAKER_00: 4:18

One of the seasons, April Frulls next year, we'll release an episode where we just do like, not a whole episode, but we do like maybe 20 minutes of just like. I couldn't tell him that I thought it was Carter, so I told him that it was his fault for trying inappropriate things at the breakfast table.

SPEAKER_01: 4:45

Hello, Victorian Nigel. I know. I was like, eh? Who are you?

SPEAKER_00: 4:51

He was very confused about why I suddenly had a problem with him trying to touch me. Especially as one of my kinks's public. Yeah. Anyway. So rightfully so. When Mike and I eventually gave up the argument, I fell down on the blue satin bed covers with a sigh.

SPEAKER_01: 5:14

Gosh, it's very Victorian, Nicole.

SPEAKER_02: 5:18

Oh! I can't continue! Clutching!

SPEAKER_00: 5:24

Okay. Your mood swings are really ridiculous, he said. I've never met anyone who is so hot and cold all the time. I didn't answer him. I couldn't be bothered. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_02: 5:39

Wow.

SPEAKER_01: 5:41

I couldn't be bothered. Bothered?

SPEAKER_00: 5:46

You just you're just fucked. I'm clearly super overwhelmed. I'm starting to worry about myself. Because I'm very worried. I'm so worried. I'm gonna punch someone again. Yeah, that's not normal. It's not normal at all. Why now that the sun is shining, am I snotty? Snotty, not slutty, not cool.

SPEAKER_04: 6:09

Exactly your snotty little brat here.

SPEAKER_00: 6:13

I sighed and fell back down on my back. Just moonshine and bloody roses. Silence. Except for ballasnickering.

SPEAKER_04: 6:24

I'm so sorry. You're being such a twat. It's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00: 6:27

Oh, he's being a bit twaty himself.

SPEAKER_04: 6:29

But I I get Yeah, but you're the you are being the bigger twat.

SPEAKER_00: 6:33

I do get Mike's side of things because he's like, the fuck is wrong with this person? And Exactly. He's not here for it because he has no time to deal with the shit, and I should be ashamed of myself. Yes. I'm so sorry. Do everyone listening to this podcast, we have said I've gone on about this from so way too much, but that always gives me the look. Like, shut the fuck up, Nicole.

SPEAKER_04: 6:55

Which I'm giving her right now.

unknown: 6:58

Right.

SPEAKER_04: 6:58

But because we This is not how she behaves in real life. This is for fictional drama.

SPEAKER_00: 7:05

Yes. But I was gonna say, do what we say, do not do what we do. Right.

SPEAKER_04: 7:16

Although maybe you also don't do what we say because we're very silly.

SPEAKER_00: 7:19

Don't do enjoy this for entertainment purposes only.

SPEAKER_04: 7:24

We are not not good role models.

SPEAKER_00: 7:28

No, that's not true on many accounts. Oh, in the story, yeah. Bad, bad role models. Anyway, what the hell is the Scotch for? I asked. Wow. Drinking?

SPEAKER_01: 7:40

Yeah, Nicole. For hitting you over the head with it, maybe.

SPEAKER_00: 7:46

No reply. I sighed angrily. I'm ignoring you, he said. I lifted myself back onto my elbows. I noticed. He was sitting with his feet on the table, leaning back with his eyes closed. I think he's I think the poor man, like, I think inside he's begging me to come out with whatever the fuck is wrong with me. Yes. I honestly think that's what he- He's like, if I'm silent enough, she'll derail herself.

SPEAKER_04: 8:20

Yeah, and he's just like, fuck's sake, I I just don't. I I just don't have time.

SPEAKER_00: 8:26

I and I just don't know where to go with this anymore.

SPEAKER_04: 8:29

I am just drinking.

SPEAKER_00: 8:33

And then his mobile ring. You've drowned him! You have driven him to drink. He's driven himself to drink. Okay. I helped a little. Anyway, this is all in jest. You must get some looks when that thing rings. Shut up, he said in a surprisingly strong tone. I frowned. I was choking. Hey, baby, he answered, pressing the mobile to his ear with Hey, baby! It's Alva's present.

SPEAKER_01: 9:04

Hey, baby. Baby baby. Oh bit of a baby. Hey, baby. No, I can't do it. How does a man show affection?

SPEAKER_00: 9:23

Oh, my nose is just coming. Just coming for me. Hey, baby.

SPEAKER_04: 9:30

Hey, baby.

SPEAKER_00: 9:33

It all sounds wrong. Hey, baby. He answered, pressing the mobile to his ear with a smile. I've never seen his fight voice.

SPEAKER_04: 9:42

His voice.

SPEAKER_00: 9:44

Love to see his voice.

SPEAKER_01: 9:45

Maybe the previous recording was better. I really hope so.

SPEAKER_00: 9:53

What is happening with us? Did Bella get a dress? Yeah, but Xander's got hurt. I broke it.

SPEAKER_01: 10:03

Broken!

SPEAKER_00: 10:05

Did Bella get a dress? Yeah, but Xander got hers. Of course. By the way, fuck my life. Okay, it's all derailing.

SPEAKER_04: 10:16

I think that's Yes. Yeah. We know this.

SPEAKER_00: 10:20

Inside the box were folds of crushed black paper, and underneath that folds of red satin. I frowned at it and then at him. I pulled the fabric out of the box and it took on a new appearance. It was a gorgeous low car. What is your problem?

SPEAKER_03: 10:39

There is right soak in the box. I wonder what this could be. Ow! I am so shocked. It is a dress.

SPEAKER_00: 10:49

Unbelievable. This is how writing works, Bella. Now shut up. Let me do my thing. I pulled the fabric out of the box and it took on a new appearance. I love how I'm also what is also annoying me as myself and not as my character in the story, is how much I'm he is I'm giving him a lot of shit. And I'm constantly putting this persona on him that he's not gentle with me when he fucking is.

SPEAKER_04: 11:24

Yeah, he is. Which is why he's like, shut up. Just twat.

SPEAKER_00: 11:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 11:31

You snotty little rat he.

SPEAKER_00: 11:32

Debella get a dress. Yeah, but Xander got hers. Of course. By the way, some chick has come in to do your hair and makeup at four. Some chick, bless. That's who. Yep, that's who. There was a knock at the door, and as he ran to get his scotch, he called over his shoulder.

SPEAKER_01: 11:51

He ran literally now. Give me the fucking scotch.

unknown: 12:00

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00: 12:07

With that dress, you can hardly expect me to trust you to do the rest yourself. Hmm. Fair enough. Suppose not, I said softly to myself. I mean, I'm not awful at makeup, but yeah, I'm not going to the European music awards with my little Ms. Kara blush situation. Because the biggest thing is I don't wear a lot of makeup. So when I have to like put on more, I suddenly don't fucking know what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_04: 12:36

Which is why I did your makeup for your wedding.

SPEAKER_00: 12:39

Exactly. And I but you did a good job because I still look like myself. Because some people, if they like do you up for like a do, then you don't you're like, who is that?

SPEAKER_04: 12:48

Yes, but I know you and your skin tones and your things. It's quite different when you know someone. So I was going for something that is works for you, but it's more than normal.

SPEAKER_00: 12:59

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04: 13:00

Thanks. Daily.

SPEAKER_00: 13:02

It was very pretty. You could he could have asked you to do it. But he also isn't gonna expect you to do it, so there's that.

SPEAKER_04: 13:10

Yeah. And he doesn't know my skills.

SPEAKER_00: 13:13

That yet. When? Not in makeup.

SPEAKER_04: 13:19

He knows about my skills in other ways.

SPEAKER_00: 13:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 13:23

Because we've done that.

SPEAKER_00: 13:24

Yep. Been there and done that. Oh yeah. He came back with this bottle of scotch, an ice ball, and two glasses. He put them down on the table. Do you want one? He asked. Yeah, please. Oh bless him. He got two glasses when he ordered it. Even then he even when he was like so done with me, he was like, I'll get my.

SPEAKER_04: 13:47

No, I imagine the glasses were probably already in the room.

SPEAKER_00: 13:52

Nah. You think? Yeah. Okay, well great.

SPEAKER_04: 13:58

They'll they will out of habit, they will bring up two glasses. Because he knows they know he's sharing a room.

SPEAKER_00: 14:08

I was trying to s to go, look, he got me some squash, but apparently no, Bella. Apparently no. No.

SPEAKER_01: 14:16

Fine.

SPEAKER_04: 14:16

No. You're not that special. That's such a lie. That's a lie.

SPEAKER_00: 14:22

I clearly am that special.

SPEAKER_04: 14:24

He could have asked for the two glasses, although he never said so in the conversation on the phone.

SPEAKER_00: 14:31

Fine. So moving on swiftly from this bullshit. He put them down on the table. Do you want one? He asked. Yeah, please. He poured the drinks and handed one to me. Oh yeah. You said suddenly and put his drink down on the table. He jogged to the bed.

SPEAKER_02: 14:52

He's just running along.

SPEAKER_01: 14:54

Try to get in his cardio for the day? Like.

SPEAKER_04: 14:57

He's running to the door, jogging to the bed. Gotta get those steps in. I know it's hard to use a lot of self-control here, but I really think you need to talk to Mike about your. Let me take that again. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 15:15

Where your mouth is now is absolute perfection. Never move.

SPEAKER_04: 15:21

Well, that's not gonna work, is it?

SPEAKER_00: 15:23

It sounds so good.

SPEAKER_04: 15:24

Do you realize how much you move when you reach it?

SPEAKER_00: 15:28

My shit works. I don't know what to tell you.

SPEAKER_04: 15:31

Yeah. Fuck you.

SPEAKER_00: 15:32

I think we're gonna work on your gain. I think we're gonna get your gain up to where my gain is and we're gonna work that way. The feathery flowers created thin sleeves over her shoulders. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_01: 15:43

That was perfect. What's your problem? I know. I don't know it.

SPEAKER_04: 15:49

I think because you were so intense, you were like, the feathery flowers. A bit like, you know how we used to do those tongue twisters at uni.

SPEAKER_01: 15:59

And everyone's eyes were super wide where they're going, stay at the stage. Gosh.

SPEAKER_00: 16:09

You're intensely concentrating so hard not to fuck up. Exactly. So let me take it from Elena Bar before. No. Yeah. On both our eyes, I already said this. We ooed an ard at each other's dresses while we changed into them. We have our moments.

SPEAKER_04: 16:27

I don't know why that sentence just makes me Google. We oooed and odd.

SPEAKER_00: 16:32

Because we certainly did.

SPEAKER_04: 16:35

We would absolutely oo and odd, but it's like we're we yeed and hoard. Are we?

SPEAKER_00: 16:42

Would you prefer I say we heed and hoard?

SPEAKER_02: 16:47

I don't know why, but it just made me think of that.

SPEAKER_00: 16:51

Yeah. Hang on, hang on. I said sitting forward in my seat. Why Jay then? Why not Noah? For one. Very cowboy.

SPEAKER_04: 17:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 17:03

For one, he's the one not married or in a relationship, Xander explained. And because chances are Yeah, I'm still a too cowboy. You forgot only. Yeah. I just I just said. I just said. God damn it. Shut up, Woman. As we reached the rest of the band, my confidence took a massive plunge. I mean, I don't know why. Because if they look good and we are going with them, I don't see the problem.

SPEAKER_04: 17:35

No, I don't either. Surely that should boost your confidence. Surely it's like damn, they're taking us.

SPEAKER_00: 17:41

Yeah. Carter was wearing We must be hot as shit. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04: 17:45

Yeah, it's it there's just a thing. When people are dressed up, you don't want it every day, but when they do, you're like, oh damn. It's that and also has last weekend worn a shirt for the first time. I've never seen in a shirt before. It's usually just comfies and jogging bottoms. And he was like, which is mad because apparently he used to always wear shirts and trousers and stuff. I can see that. I was like, oh damn.

SPEAKER_00: 18:12

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03: 18:13

I was like, oh, hello. Yes, please. I like this.

SPEAKER_00: 18:18

He has a little chest hair, doesn't he? As well.

SPEAKER_04: 18:20

Oh, he does. He has got quite the chest hair.

SPEAKER_00: 18:25

Quite the chest hair.

SPEAKER_04: 18:27

But you know, I like running my hands through it. Which is weird because I never liked it.

SPEAKER_00: 18:32

Same. And then we turned 30 and we were like, hello.

SPEAKER_04: 18:35

We're like, yes, put my hands in there. Thank you very much. Come here, you manly man.

SPEAKER_00: 18:42

I've stalked them way less in recent years than I used to before. And I think the reason.

SPEAKER_04: 18:48

Yeah, but that's because you you have a child and so many other things on your time.

SPEAKER_00: 18:53

That's true. I think it's also because I've spent so much time with you doing this podcast that we don't even need to anymore. We get our fix.

SPEAKER_04: 19:04

We we so get our fix.

SPEAKER_00: 19:05

We're like, no, no, no, oh no, I can't be bothered to deal with more of you.

SPEAKER_04: 19:11

That's not true though. We we freaked out when when when they when they we should not be putting that on there.

SPEAKER_00: 19:20

No, you no, just don't say anything about anything they've done with us. I mean they're probably no one's gonna find it, but I think Bala's referring to at one point the band put one of our photos up as their story, and we shat ourselves for weeks.

SPEAKER_04: 19:40

Yes. And also Xander has liked one of my tweets to him.

SPEAKER_00: 19:46

That's true. Many well, it wasn't to him specifically, it was just on the bad's like stuff, and he liked it, yeah. Maybe yeah, which means a lot more because there were a lot of comments on that. And apparently yours was the one that won.

SPEAKER_02: 20:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 20:05

Anyway, I looked around at them all feeling lightheaded by the sheer luck of it all, especially Jason. I wished he wasn't angry at me. But maybe I should not be a dickhead then. That would help.

SPEAKER_04: 20:17

Yes. Don't be a dick, he won't be angry.

SPEAKER_00: 20:20

It's actually not that hard not to piss off Jason, you know what I mean? Like he's a very sure man. Like, why am I pissing him off so easily?

SPEAKER_04: 20:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 20:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 20:31

Just don't be a dick.

SPEAKER_00: 20:33

Pretty much. Hang on, hang on. Oh, but apparently I will not stop. You are not. No. I said sitting forward in my seat. Why Jay then? Why not Noah? Noah could deal with my shit! For one. He is the only one not married or in a relationship, Zondra explained. And because chances are the press will guess you're fucking him, and that's not exactly seriously saucy news. This just then or Good Morning America.

SPEAKER_04: 21:03

Would you like to try that with the American accent?

SPEAKER_00: 21:06

Which one?

SPEAKER_04: 21:08

Seriously saucy news.

SPEAKER_00: 21:10

It was You're being very harsh.

SPEAKER_02: 21:16

Wow, that went high.

SPEAKER_00: 21:18

I and the mic the the Discord just went nah. I'm out.

SPEAKER_04: 21:22

I'm out. Yeah. It wasn't even Discord, WhatsApp, could you?

SPEAKER_00: 21:25

Everything just was like nah. Okay. So what I glanced at Andrew, who looked distraught. Sorry, Andrew. I keep forgetting you're here. He's not normally there for my shenanigans. He shook his head, but he was holding on to himself for protection.

SPEAKER_04: 21:49

He's like he's like properly rocking backwards and forwards, going, Why am I here? What is happening? Oh my god, I am not paid enough for this shit. Ha ha!

SPEAKER_00: 21:59

That's it. And my mobile rung. One of the band's songs was the ringtone. They laughed again. Yeah. They could clearly see how crazy I was about them. Not that they didn't know that already. It's better than I'm a Barbie girl. I said digging in my black clutch bag for my mobile.

SPEAKER_04: 22:16

Why do you keep calling it I'm a Barbie girl? It's just called Barbie girl.

SPEAKER_00: 22:21

Oh. I'm assuming. It's literally called Barbie girl. That is that is occupational hazard. Because I'm like, those are the lyrics and I sing. Sorry, anyone else. Yeah. Fucking fucking Abra. He's fucking smart.

SPEAKER_02: 22:39

Fucking Abra? Where did that come from?

SPEAKER_00: 22:44

Sometimes South Africa happens, okay? I cannot help.

SPEAKER_04: 22:49

It it's it's just that something of it just makes me think of Australia when people say things like that. But yeah, South Africa makes sense too. We say bra, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 22:59

Anyway, or br, but that would be even more confusing. Uh um Where?