Penultimate Season Tease

SPEAKER_04 0:00

So we have finally reached our penultimate episode 19.

SPEAKER_00 0:06

So that should have given away that there are 20 episodes in this season.

First Podcast Crossover

SPEAKER_04 0:11

Oh yeah. And and it's it's really exciting. And on top of the more exciting things, is we were just interviewed on someone else's podcast.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Very exciting. Our first podcast collaboration with another human. That sounded like we had collaborations with non-humans. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Why does my mouth work this way?

SPEAKER_04 0:38

I do not know. Are we doing it with the mooses or the aliens?

SPEAKER_00 0:42

The mooses. The bears.

SPEAKER_04 0:45

The bears. Ah yes, those bears.

Accents, Swearing, And Mic Chaos

SPEAKER_00 0:48

So no, we had a we had a lovely friend from Australia interview us for his podcast, and that was very fun. And got quite deep. He asked some intense questions. So you guys will get to see that. I'm we're not sure when, at some point in the future. That's not our baby. Oh my gosh, I forgot to take take the overdub off. We have to start again. Your mood swings are really ridiculous, he said. I've never met anyone who is so hot and hot. So hot. Sorry. So hot and cold. No. That's actually the way to get in it. Whenever I do this accent, I kind of imagine going, fuck, motherfucker, shit. Like his swearing gets me in the mood for a Californian accent. But nothing else. And saying, you had the best goddamn cigarette in the world in your pocket and you weren't sharing. Your mood swings are really ridiculous, he said. I've never met anyone who's so hot and cold all the time. I didn't answer him. I couldn't be bothered. Oh fuck, I couldn't be bothered.

SPEAKER_04 2:03

You couldn't be bothered.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

I'm just, why are you so quiet again? I don't know. I haven't moved. Well, suddenly now you're louder. So basically, this mic wants me to dom it. The moment I'm like, what's your problem? It's like, okay, I'm covered.

SPEAKER_04 2:21

See, I don't think it was just my old mic, by the sounds of it. Yeah. It's obviously you. Well, fine. Take me back for a refund. Replace me, why don't you?

SPEAKER_01 2:37

No, I'll never do that. But what what I need you to do is keep your head still.

Fictional Drama vs Real Selves

SPEAKER_04 2:42

I practically was. The most I did was this. Which is my mouth is still at the same spot. Okay, you're fine. You're fine. Yeah, fuck you, buddy.

unknown 2:53

Oh!

SPEAKER_01 2:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Yeah, get me in the mood. Get me in the mood to not be bothered. One more time. You can't be bothered to listen to Mike. Bless. Now I'm obviously just like her. Valid, valid reasoning. I'm just being a silly little moose, basically. Yes, you are. Hey baby. It still came out on little elvis.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

How do I say it?

SPEAKER_00 3:17

Hey baby. Hey baby. No, but you have to sound endearing. Hey baby. No. Hey baby. Hey baby. Huh? Yeah. Alright. 20 minutes later.

SPEAKER_04 3:29

Don't swap the B for the T. What? I said don't swap the B for the T. Bratting or twatting.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

That was not clear until you explained it. Don't swap the B for the T. I went through a lot of things in my head.

SPEAKER_04 3:51

All the options this could be.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

Pardon? There we go. I am capable of style. He smiled. But I didn't pick it out. I described that they'll kick up a chica.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

What if we did the whole podcast just in gobbledygook like that? Everyone would hate it. Oh, what we should have thought about that for April Fools.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

One of the seasons, April Frulls next year, we'll release an episode where we just do like, not a whole episode, but we do like maybe 20 minutes of just like. I couldn't tell him that I thought it was Carter, so I told him that it was his fault for trying inappropriate things at the breakfast table.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

Hello, Victorian Nigel. I know. I was like, eh? Who are you?

SPEAKER_00 4:51

He was very confused about why I suddenly had a problem with him trying to touch me. Especially as one of my kinks's public. Yeah. Anyway. So rightfully so. When Mike and I eventually gave up the argument, I fell down on the blue satin bed covers with a sigh.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Gosh, it's very Victorian, Nicole.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Oh! I can't continue! Clutching!

SPEAKER_00 5:24

Okay. Your mood swings are really ridiculous, he said. I've never met anyone who is so hot and cold all the time. I didn't answer him. I couldn't be bothered. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_02 5:39

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

I couldn't be bothered. Bothered?

SPEAKER_00 5:46

You just you're just fucked. I'm clearly super overwhelmed. I'm starting to worry about myself. Because I'm very worried. I'm so worried. I'm gonna punch someone again. Yeah, that's not normal. It's not normal at all. Why now that the sun is shining, am I snotty? Snotty, not slutty, not cool.

SPEAKER_04 6:09

Exactly your snotty little brat here.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

I sighed and fell back down on my back. Just moonshine and bloody roses. Silence. Except for ballasnickering.

SPEAKER_04 6:24

I'm so sorry. You're being such a twat. It's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

Oh, he's being a bit twaty himself.

SPEAKER_04 6:29

But I I get Yeah, but you're the you are being the bigger twat.

The Dress, Makeup, And Image

SPEAKER_00 6:33

I do get Mike's side of things because he's like, the fuck is wrong with this person? And Exactly. He's not here for it because he has no time to deal with the shit, and I should be ashamed of myself. Yes. I'm so sorry. Do everyone listening to this podcast, we have said I've gone on about this from so way too much, but that always gives me the look. Like, shut the fuck up, Nicole.

SPEAKER_04 6:55

Which I'm giving her right now.

unknown 6:58

Right.

SPEAKER_04 6:58

But because we This is not how she behaves in real life. This is for fictional drama.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Yes. But I was gonna say, do what we say, do not do what we do. Right.

SPEAKER_04 7:16

Although maybe you also don't do what we say because we're very silly.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

Don't do enjoy this for entertainment purposes only.

SPEAKER_04 7:24

We are not not good role models.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

No, that's not true on many accounts. Oh, in the story, yeah. Bad, bad role models. Anyway, what the hell is the Scotch for? I asked. Wow. Drinking?

SPEAKER_01 7:40

Yeah, Nicole. For hitting you over the head with it, maybe.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

No reply. I sighed angrily. I'm ignoring you, he said. I lifted myself back onto my elbows. I noticed. He was sitting with his feet on the table, leaning back with his eyes closed. I think he's I think the poor man, like, I think inside he's begging me to come out with whatever the fuck is wrong with me. Yes. I honestly think that's what he- He's like, if I'm silent enough, she'll derail herself.

SPEAKER_04 8:20

Yeah, and he's just like, fuck's sake, I I just don't. I I just don't have time.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

I and I just don't know where to go with this anymore.

SPEAKER_04 8:29

I am just drinking.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

And then his mobile ring. You've drowned him! You have driven him to drink. He's driven himself to drink. Okay. I helped a little. Anyway, this is all in jest. You must get some looks when that thing rings. Shut up, he said in a surprisingly strong tone. I frowned. I was choking. Hey, baby, he answered, pressing the mobile to his ear with Hey, baby! It's Alva's present.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Hey, baby. Baby baby. Oh bit of a baby. Hey, baby. No, I can't do it. How does a man show affection?

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Oh, my nose is just coming. Just coming for me. Hey, baby.

SPEAKER_04 9:30

Hey, baby.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

It all sounds wrong. Hey, baby. He answered, pressing the mobile to his ear with a smile. I've never seen his fight voice.

SPEAKER_04 9:42

His voice.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

Love to see his voice.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

Maybe the previous recording was better. I really hope so.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

What is happening with us? Did Bella get a dress? Yeah, but Xander's got hurt. I broke it.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Broken!

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Did Bella get a dress? Yeah, but Xander got hers. Of course. By the way, fuck my life. Okay, it's all derailing.

SPEAKER_04 10:16

I think that's Yes. Yeah. We know this.

Scotch, Boundaries, And Avoidance

SPEAKER_00 10:20

Inside the box were folds of crushed black paper, and underneath that folds of red satin. I frowned at it and then at him. I pulled the fabric out of the box and it took on a new appearance. It was a gorgeous low car. What is your problem?

SPEAKER_03 10:39

There is right soak in the box. I wonder what this could be. Ow! I am so shocked. It is a dress.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

Unbelievable. This is how writing works, Bella. Now shut up. Let me do my thing. I pulled the fabric out of the box and it took on a new appearance. I love how I'm also what is also annoying me as myself and not as my character in the story, is how much I'm he is I'm giving him a lot of shit. And I'm constantly putting this persona on him that he's not gentle with me when he fucking is.

SPEAKER_04 11:24

Yeah, he is. Which is why he's like, shut up. Just twat.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:31

You snotty little rat he.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

Debella get a dress. Yeah, but Xander got hers. Of course. By the way, some chick has come in to do your hair and makeup at four. Some chick, bless. That's who. Yep, that's who. There was a knock at the door, and as he ran to get his scotch, he called over his shoulder.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

He ran literally now. Give me the fucking scotch.

unknown 12:00

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

With that dress, you can hardly expect me to trust you to do the rest yourself. Hmm. Fair enough. Suppose not, I said softly to myself. I mean, I'm not awful at makeup, but yeah, I'm not going to the European music awards with my little Ms. Kara blush situation. Because the biggest thing is I don't wear a lot of makeup. So when I have to like put on more, I suddenly don't fucking know what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_04 12:36

Which is why I did your makeup for your wedding.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

Exactly. And I but you did a good job because I still look like myself. Because some people, if they like do you up for like a do, then you don't you're like, who is that?

SPEAKER_04 12:48

Yes, but I know you and your skin tones and your things. It's quite different when you know someone. So I was going for something that is works for you, but it's more than normal.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 13:00

Thanks. Daily.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

It was very pretty. You could he could have asked you to do it. But he also isn't gonna expect you to do it, so there's that.

SPEAKER_04 13:10

Yeah. And he doesn't know my skills.

SPEAKER_00 13:13

That yet. When? Not in makeup.

SPEAKER_04 13:19

He knows about my skills in other ways.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:23

Because we've done that.

Confidence, Bands, And Parasocials

SPEAKER_00 13:24

Yep. Been there and done that. Oh yeah. He came back with this bottle of scotch, an ice ball, and two glasses. He put them down on the table. Do you want one? He asked. Yeah, please. Oh bless him. He got two glasses when he ordered it. Even then he even when he was like so done with me, he was like, I'll get my.

SPEAKER_04 13:47

No, I imagine the glasses were probably already in the room.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

Nah. You think? Yeah. Okay, well great.

SPEAKER_04 13:58

They'll they will out of habit, they will bring up two glasses. Because he knows they know he's sharing a room.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

I was trying to s to go, look, he got me some squash, but apparently no, Bella. Apparently no. No.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

Fine.

SPEAKER_04 14:16

No. You're not that special. That's such a lie. That's a lie.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

I clearly am that special.

SPEAKER_04 14:24

He could have asked for the two glasses, although he never said so in the conversation on the phone.

SPEAKER_00 14:31

Fine. So moving on swiftly from this bullshit. He put them down on the table. Do you want one? He asked. Yeah, please. He poured the drinks and handed one to me. Oh yeah. You said suddenly and put his drink down on the table. He jogged to the bed.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

He's just running along.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

Try to get in his cardio for the day? Like.

SPEAKER_04 14:57

He's running to the door, jogging to the bed. Gotta get those steps in. I know it's hard to use a lot of self-control here, but I really think you need to talk to Mike about your. Let me take that again. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Where your mouth is now is absolute perfection. Never move.

SPEAKER_04 15:21

Well, that's not gonna work, is it?

SPEAKER_00 15:23

It sounds so good.

SPEAKER_04 15:24

Do you realize how much you move when you reach it?

SPEAKER_00 15:28

My shit works. I don't know what to tell you.

SPEAKER_04 15:31

Yeah. Fuck you.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

I think we're gonna work on your gain. I think we're gonna get your gain up to where my gain is and we're gonna work that way. The feathery flowers created thin sleeves over her shoulders. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

That was perfect. What's your problem? I know. I don't know it.

SPEAKER_04 15:49

I think because you were so intense, you were like, the feathery flowers. A bit like, you know how we used to do those tongue twisters at uni.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

And everyone's eyes were super wide where they're going, stay at the stage. Gosh.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

You're intensely concentrating so hard not to fuck up. Exactly. So let me take it from Elena Bar before. No. Yeah. On both our eyes, I already said this. We ooed an ard at each other's dresses while we changed into them. We have our moments.

SPEAKER_04 16:27

I don't know why that sentence just makes me Google. We oooed and odd.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

Because we certainly did.

SPEAKER_04 16:35

We would absolutely oo and odd, but it's like we're we yeed and hoard. Are we?

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Would you prefer I say we heed and hoard?

SPEAKER_02 16:47

I don't know why, but it just made me think of that.

Why Jay, Not Noah

SPEAKER_00 16:51

Yeah. Hang on, hang on. I said sitting forward in my seat. Why Jay then? Why not Noah? For one. Very cowboy.

SPEAKER_04 17:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

For one, he's the one not married or in a relationship, Xander explained. And because chances are Yeah, I'm still a too cowboy. You forgot only. Yeah. I just I just said. I just said. God damn it. Shut up, Woman. As we reached the rest of the band, my confidence took a massive plunge. I mean, I don't know why. Because if they look good and we are going with them, I don't see the problem.

SPEAKER_04 17:35

No, I don't either. Surely that should boost your confidence. Surely it's like damn, they're taking us.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

Yeah. Carter was wearing We must be hot as shit. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 17:45

Yeah, it's it there's just a thing. When people are dressed up, you don't want it every day, but when they do, you're like, oh damn. It's that and also has last weekend worn a shirt for the first time. I've never seen in a shirt before. It's usually just comfies and jogging bottoms. And he was like, which is mad because apparently he used to always wear shirts and trousers and stuff. I can see that. I was like, oh damn.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 18:13

I was like, oh, hello. Yes, please. I like this.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

He has a little chest hair, doesn't he? As well.

SPEAKER_04 18:20

Oh, he does. He has got quite the chest hair.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

Quite the chest hair.

SPEAKER_04 18:27

But you know, I like running my hands through it. Which is weird because I never liked it.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

Same. And then we turned 30 and we were like, hello.

SPEAKER_04 18:35

We're like, yes, put my hands in there. Thank you very much. Come here, you manly man.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

I've stalked them way less in recent years than I used to before. And I think the reason.

SPEAKER_04 18:48

Yeah, but that's because you you have a child and so many other things on your time.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

That's true. I think it's also because I've spent so much time with you doing this podcast that we don't even need to anymore. We get our fix.

SPEAKER_04 19:04

We we so get our fix.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

We're like, no, no, no, oh no, I can't be bothered to deal with more of you.

SPEAKER_04 19:11

That's not true though. We we freaked out when when when they when they we should not be putting that on there.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

No, you no, just don't say anything about anything they've done with us. I mean they're probably no one's gonna find it, but I think Bala's referring to at one point the band put one of our photos up as their story, and we shat ourselves for weeks.

SPEAKER_04 19:40

Yes. And also Xander has liked one of my tweets to him.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

That's true. Many well, it wasn't to him specifically, it was just on the bad's like stuff, and he liked it, yeah. Maybe yeah, which means a lot more because there were a lot of comments on that. And apparently yours was the one that won.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

Yeah.

Laughter, Ringtones, And Fade

SPEAKER_00 20:05

Anyway, I looked around at them all feeling lightheaded by the sheer luck of it all, especially Jason. I wished he wasn't angry at me. But maybe I should not be a dickhead then. That would help.

SPEAKER_04 20:17

Yes. Don't be a dick, he won't be angry.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

It's actually not that hard not to piss off Jason, you know what I mean? Like he's a very sure man. Like, why am I pissing him off so easily?

SPEAKER_04 20:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:31

Just don't be a dick.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Pretty much. Hang on, hang on. Oh, but apparently I will not stop. You are not. No. I said sitting forward in my seat. Why Jay then? Why not Noah? Noah could deal with my shit! For one. He is the only one not married or in a relationship, Zondra explained. And because chances are the press will guess you're fucking him, and that's not exactly seriously saucy news. This just then or Good Morning America.

SPEAKER_04 21:03

Would you like to try that with the American accent?

SPEAKER_00 21:06

Which one?

SPEAKER_04 21:08

Seriously saucy news.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

It was You're being very harsh.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Wow, that went high.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

I and the mic the the Discord just went nah. I'm out.

SPEAKER_04 21:22

I'm out. Yeah. It wasn't even Discord, WhatsApp, could you?

SPEAKER_00 21:25

Everything just was like nah. Okay. So what I glanced at Andrew, who looked distraught. Sorry, Andrew. I keep forgetting you're here. He's not normally there for my shenanigans. He shook his head, but he was holding on to himself for protection.

SPEAKER_04 21:49

He's like he's like properly rocking backwards and forwards, going, Why am I here? What is happening? Oh my god, I am not paid enough for this shit. Ha ha!

SPEAKER_00 21:59

That's it. And my mobile rung. One of the band's songs was the ringtone. They laughed again. Yeah. They could clearly see how crazy I was about them. Not that they didn't know that already. It's better than I'm a Barbie girl. I said digging in my black clutch bag for my mobile.

SPEAKER_04 22:16

Why do you keep calling it I'm a Barbie girl? It's just called Barbie girl.

SPEAKER_00 22:21

Oh. I'm assuming. It's literally called Barbie girl. That is that is occupational hazard. Because I'm like, those are the lyrics and I sing. Sorry, anyone else. Yeah. Fucking fucking Abra. He's fucking smart.

SPEAKER_02 22:39

Fucking Abra? Where did that come from?

SPEAKER_00 22:44

Sometimes South Africa happens, okay? I cannot help.

SPEAKER_04 22:49

It it's it's just that something of it just makes me think of Australia when people say things like that. But yeah, South Africa makes sense too. We say bra, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:59

Anyway, or br, but that would be even more confusing. Uh um Where?