Unruly Confessions: A Kink Story
Two best friends host a kinky podcast, telling a sexy fictional story of life on tour and beyond with 'The Band'. Join us for a healthy dose of smut and giggles, fun music chats, and every unfiltered idea that comes to mind. But you've read enough, and this is about listening so go listen to the trailer, before we go on another unexpected tangent.
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Unruly Confessions: A Kink Story (Unruly Confessions +)
Please note that this podcast is for over 18s only.
Unruly Confessions: A Kink Story
Bonus: Outtakes - Ep 14 'Feigned Virtue' - Milan, Makeup, and Mayhem
Ep 14 'Feigned Virtue' s Outtakes. All the bits and pieces that were too plentiful to make into the main episode is now delivered to you on a silver platter!
La transcription en français (The French Transcipt) : Dans la description de l'épisode.
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Theme Music: Rat Head - Big Mouse Tree House
Written and performed by: Nicole van Niekerk (Singer), Steve van Niekerk (Lead Guitar & Backing Vocals), Rachel Espeute (Bass & Backing Vocals) & Bertie Atkinson (Drums)
https://music.apple.com/us/album/rat-head/1347222686?i=1347223...
Welcome back to Unruly Confessions. I'm Bella and this is Nicole. Hello. How are you today? How are you doing? How am I? How are you doing? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, I thought you meant how are the people listening.
SPEAKER_05:Well, them too, but they they're not gonna answer back to me, are they, really?
SPEAKER_03:Well, they probably well, we've been through this. We've heard that people say yes, they do answer back.
SPEAKER_05:Well well, yes, but we can't hear it.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, that is true.
SPEAKER_05:So So I'm asking you.
SPEAKER_03:Hi, I am very well. How are you, Bella?
SPEAKER_05:I'm alright. A little tired, but that's kind of normal for me.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:So yeah, things are things are alright.
SPEAKER_03:I hurt my back recently, and I've been in like physiotherapy with a very, very brutal man. Um he's hurting me. Oh. Remember to turn off my computer sound. He's hurting me and enjoying it. I get the feeling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know the type.
SPEAKER_05:Yes, we do.
SPEAKER_03:Totality what I like here, but yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Sorry, we're keeping this one between you and me. I think everyone knows. Yeah, just between you and you now and the literal public. Everybody in the literal public.
SPEAKER_03:Well, everyone who wants to.
SPEAKER_05:Anyone who cares to listen.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly. No, but yeah, everything is going really well. I'm glad because I can continue to do my shows and everything. I was quite worried about. But yeah, very good. Now, what have we got news here for you guys today on podcast Ad Ruli Confess?
SPEAKER_05:Ooh. I don't know. What do we have?
SPEAKER_03:I'm sure you guys are all wondering what the F happened after last week.
SPEAKER_05:Oh yeah! That whole chestnut.
SPEAKER_03:That old chestnut. Also, I love how I sense it myself.
SPEAKER_01:On this podcast, I went, what the F what was the point of that? What is happening? I don't know.
SPEAKER_05:It's well, you'll s today we're sharing this recap slightly.
SPEAKER_03:So we're gonna recap for you.
SPEAKER_05:I'm gonna let what happened last time. I'm gonna let I'm going to let Nicole start. If she would ever shut up to let me let her know she can start.
SPEAKER_03:So sorry. I shall never shut up. You cannot make me.
SPEAKER_05:Never. It will never happen. Right up until Nikki came flying out of the closet and then stormed out of the suite, sending Jason scurrying to bed. And everyone else took that as a Q2 fuck off as well. Because you know things are going down when he's the one going to bed.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, when he's like, I'm out, you're like, uh-oh.
SPEAKER_05:Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
SPEAKER_03:Andrew had organized everything for the photo shoot that would take place in Cimonte. We've accounted this beforehand. Cimitere Cimitero Cimitero Monumentere. Cimitero Monumentere. There it is. Andrew had organized everything for the photo shoot that would take place in Cimitero Monumentere. The biggest cemetery in Milan. Oh gosh. Every time we say it, I feel a bit, I feel a bit like I'm a news anchor woman. Because the whole sentence flows, then that poor part is like pause. Cinematero Monumentare.
SPEAKER_05:Try and remember how to say it.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Cause I like Nicole, I am a brat, but I'm I in some ways I'm more submissive than her. But in other ways, I quite like the fight between being in control and being controlled.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:So I like to sometimes turn it around a bit on them.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:You know, and take control. And that I really like. It's the it's the push and pull, it's the challenge, it's the game, it's yeah.
SPEAKER_03:But yeah, so I just wanted to like you, I'm I'm sort of with my current with my partner.
SPEAKER_05:I say current partner, but I'm hoping my forever partner. Yeah. Um you know, he he's I'm sort of training him a little bit into it because it's something that he's not adverse to, but it's not something he's really done before. So I'm having to be a lot more submissive during actual Yeah, otherwise you'll scare him up. Yeah. Exactly. But I'm I'm very brushy in a life with him. Of course.
SPEAKER_03:I've seen it.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, and that works really well.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. We can't not, I think. That's the thing.
unknown:Yes.
SPEAKER_05:Um I don't think I could be any adult.
SPEAKER_03:Whiplash, bruh.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Sorry, that was like Let us know what's really That was the most that was the South African version. That was how we speak his heart and not in not in California. Bruh? Yeah, bruh. Okay, sorry. Um come at okay, no, relax.
SPEAKER_05:Never glama.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Exactly. Ballot with the South African expression expressions. We could also say, we also say, are you tuning me? Like if if you're if you're having an argument with someone and you're like like dissing them or like insulting them, it's tuning. It's called tuning.
SPEAKER_05:Sorry. I don't know if the cat the mic caught that. A cow just went like really loudly. I was like, holy crap, are you next door?
SPEAKER_03:The cat the cow was cow, they're down the road and there's sheep behind me, but you know the cow was not picked up by the mic, however, you mooing was.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, it's dad. It's my dad. He is he's drilling something into the wall in the house.
SPEAKER_01:Bella, for a second when you before you explained it was drilling, you was like, oh, it's my dad. I just imagined James like on all fours in your garden, like you mean it's your dad.
SPEAKER_05:Oh that was amazing.
SPEAKER_03:It's never gonna happen, but that was no, that does not sound like James whiplash, bruh.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Sorry, that was like the Let's know what's really That was the most that was the South African version. That was how we speak his heart and not in not in California. Bruh? Yeah, bruh Okay, sorry. Um come at okay, no, relax. Never guama. Yeah exactly Ballow is sorry. Sorry. We both apologized.
SPEAKER_01:Try again.
SPEAKER_02:The longest wait for us at the same time ever.
SPEAKER_05:Their father owns a bee farm. Andrew explained.
SPEAKER_01:Andrew is a 60-year-old valley girl. I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_03:Their father owns bee farm. No, I'm so sorry. Try just try it. It was just the indonation or something. I don't know. I know. It was funny though. Their father. That's better. Okay, slap.
SPEAKER_05:It's because all of my all of my Californian accent stems from the valley girl.
SPEAKER_03:I know, of course. That makes sense. It's the only way I can get sort of into it. Is that what you do? What I actually do is I try and imagine them speaking, each person.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, no, I can't do that.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_05:Because my head just goes.
SPEAKER_03:For you guys, Battle us just like gesturing across the screen, whatever this means.
SPEAKER_05:My head just goes, just like a flat hat and going, no, nothing.
SPEAKER_03:Also, what if you're a model, why are you helping your dad out on your bee farm before a shoot? Exactly. Terrible plan. Stay away from bees. Also, the the the the what are you wearing? Like, how does this anyway? Moving on. So so many questions. Exactly. This is why we're so many questions. We're very feel very sorry for them, but we just it's so sick.
SPEAKER_05:But at the same time, this is it's just fucking comical.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:I mean, you couldn't make this shit up apart from you did. You know. I did.
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_05:I still want to know, because I remember asking you at the time where you imagined this, and you you didn't know it just popped out of you. It did. And most things just pop out of me. They do. They do. I was just like, bees. What the fuck? Bees.
SPEAKER_03:Yep.
SPEAKER_05:That would be wonderful. I swelled. Would it though? Would it? I don't know. Yes.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, it would. It's your favourite band.
SPEAKER_05:Yes, of course it is. I know. It's just my own fear of photos as I am now. But there I will look gorgeous and stuff because I'm a dancer and I look fit and hot.
SPEAKER_03:You would look gorgeous in any case, Bella.
SPEAKER_05:Oh no, no, I'm I'm like a potato in photos at the moment.
SPEAKER_03:Shut up.
SPEAKER_05:I am a potato.
SPEAKER_03:You are not potato. Stop it. Potato. Stop.
SPEAKER_00:Stop it.
SPEAKER_03:I think it's funny. I think it's funny because you're you guys are about to see how this turns out, right? Bella's actually in real life the one who's who's going, um, not sure I would want to do this. And in real life, I'm actually the one right now. I'm doing a show in two weeks where I'm wearing a freaking tank top and little shorts on stage. What? And I don't give a shh. You didn't tell me you're wearing tank top and shorts. I'll show you if you won't later, I'll show you it.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, I am so seeing this outfit. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Well, just for one, just for one, just for the closing part of the show, but yeah. But anyway.
SPEAKER_05:But but I feel as your best friend I should I should get to see.
SPEAKER_03:You should.
SPEAKER_05:And uh since I can't be at the show physically, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I need to see. But the confidence, right, is what I was saying. Is is both Bala and I are gorgeous, right? But Bala's the one in actual life going, no, and in the story, she's like, yeah, sounds wonderful. And in real life, I'm like, yeah. And in the story, I'm like, no.
unknown:Exactly.
SPEAKER_03:It's very confusing. It is very confusing. Right. So, to not confuse you more, let's hear how it goes.
SPEAKER_05:Why not Nikki? I suggested. She's blonde, Anna. I'm not a model.
SPEAKER_03:Plus, I'm only one foot. One foot. I'm only one foot.
SPEAKER_01:You are a teeny tiny puzzle. I'm so sorry. Let me try again.
SPEAKER_03:I'm not a model. Plus, I'm only one meter 58.
unknown:You are tiny human.
SPEAKER_03:I am, but I'm not one foot.
SPEAKER_01:Holy shit.
SPEAKER_03:You can eat me in subway. Can you be that small? You can order me in subway. I can put you in my handbag and take you along with me. Oh, that would be so convenient though.
SPEAKER_05:That would be really good, actually. Can you be a foot tall, please?
SPEAKER_03:No.
SPEAKER_05:And and maybe then I can like like like Ant Man, you can just grow larger.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, that would be good. Because otherwise I wouldn't be able to sing.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03:Right. Let's seriously take a look at it.
SPEAKER_02:Horrible. Right. Anyway, back to it. Right. I refuse.
SPEAKER_05:Nicole told him crossly. Crossly.
SPEAKER_03:I I was cross. I said I refuse. More cross. I refuse. Yes. Yes. Two-year-old crossly. Yes! Rat cross. Yes.
SPEAKER_05:Stab your little feet.
SPEAKER_03:Tiny person you. I refuse. No, seriously. I'm actually I feel really uncomfortable with this because I I this is not the time to be a brat. No. This is a bad time to be a brat.
SPEAKER_05:The taxis are here. Andrew said. Let's go.
SPEAKER_03:I love it. We have zero time to reflect on this. It's like, I'm gonna do it. Okay, this is scary. Okay, we're fucking getting in the taxi.
SPEAKER_05:Leave him. Leave in right fucking now.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:To be fair, if it's that quickly, they really would have been fucked if you said no. I mean, they would have made it work with the fall.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. But it No, but I think it's not just that. It's not just like we're taking the taxis and we're doing the photo shoot immediately. It's like there's a lot of stuff that happens before, right?
SPEAKER_05:So I think Oh yeah, the dressing and the makeup all over the stuff.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly. So I think there might be some time to figure it out. But there's not enough time to bring in a new person. No, probably not. Which is probably why. You're right. There isn't. Which is probably why. Because Andrew was saying we'll find we'll make a plan because he wanted to cut keep the band calm. But I think I know because I'm not sure. Andrew the whole time asked us to be there too. Because he was like, These two bitches are blonde. He didn't say bitches because he's a very, very nice guy. But he was like, These two girls are blonde. They love the band and they have the look. We should get them to do it, but we can't make them. So let's tell the situation and hope they volunteer.
unknown:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:And then I put a spanner in the works. But then you saved the day. Well done, Bala.
SPEAKER_05:Once again proving I'm the Nikki Whisperer.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, once again proving to Michael, to my dad, to Andrew that they're always right about if Bala bringing a bit of stability to the chaos.
SPEAKER_05:Until I don't.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. You both support the chaos and help out the chaos. And sometimes bring the chaos. And sometimes bring the chaos.
SPEAKER_05:You can smile now. Mike said to Nicole. She smiled. Note for all of you list. She is doing the creepiest weird smile, fake, forced, grit you teeth smile that you have ever seen.
SPEAKER_03:Well that's because that's what I would be doing.
SPEAKER_05:Yes. How one one little thing. How how does Carter make the most sense when when Noah? Noah is the shortest.
SPEAKER_03:Because they're not because they always make fun of of him, but he but Carter is just like this much taller than him.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Really. Uh I know. 168 and Carter is 173.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. I know. But still.
SPEAKER_03:Now, because it works out for the story, Bella. Just go with it. Don't make a thing out of it.
SPEAKER_05:No, no, I know it's a story. I was just gonna say Carter makes most sense. I was like, but it doesn't. It does in the current.
SPEAKER_03:We're just skipping over that. It does.
SPEAKER_05:I'm nitpicking.
SPEAKER_03:Don't don't don't do that because then then we're gonna confuse the audience. Just accept Carter. Okay? True, except Carter's not the shortest person at all. See, this is what I brought up in our last 10 years. Yeah, but he's like, yeah, but he's only a little bit more. But he is only like in a he's only a couple of centimetres taller, so it doesn't make a huge difference. Whereas Jay is a frickin' giant. Yes, exactly. But also, can I just point out without going too deeply into it, but um it's I love how it's but some of us here are not really talking about the photo shoot.
SPEAKER_00:No note, exactly.
SPEAKER_03:You're not partnering with Jay. Yeah, you're way too shoot for Jay. Carter makes more sense. It's a bit it's like foreshadowing.
SPEAKER_05:Maybe can can we just go a clothing rail?
SPEAKER_03:If you want. Why does everything I write bother you?
SPEAKER_05:It doesn't! Oh my god, no, it doesn't! It's just I was just when I was reading it, I was like okay. So how is it you know the tour band's manager? She asked interestly interestedly. I cannot say words today!
SPEAKER_03:You're doing well, it's just it's not the tour band's manager, the band's tour manager. How do you know the tour band's manager? Sorry. My brain is not braining. You're almost done. The next section is mine, okay? You you're doing so well though. I can't once you're reading, I can't tell you're tired. It's just from the stop starting.
SPEAKER_05:Kara said, sounding very high mate. Bunch of groupies.
SPEAKER_01:Bitch!
SPEAKER_05:I know, right?
SPEAKER_01:Sorry.
SPEAKER_05:Take a seat. Oh, yeah. Isn't she supposed to be British?
SPEAKER_03:She was British before.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. No, I went slightly more take a seat.
SPEAKER_03:Oh.
SPEAKER_05:I do anything for you, dear.
SPEAKER_03:Anything very good.
SPEAKER_05:Take a seat.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, make her cider, make her cider, make her cider.
SPEAKER_05:Apart from it said, hello! That's fine.
SPEAKER_03:It's fine.
SPEAKER_05:I thought I saw dancer's legs and beneath that robe. That's kind. And flirty as look, actually. I was just hello. Hello Denise.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_05:And alright. Honestly, Denise said, I'm so nervous that I don't even and I don't even have to go out there. Why are you nervous? I frowned. Because the band are in the next well, tent? She giggled.
SPEAKER_03:We're not the only big fans, apparently. Yes!
SPEAKER_05:Apparently not! Ha ha! Ugh I haven't, but I've heard they're amazing live, she said excitedly, combing through my hair and plugging in the hairdryer. What are they like live? Assuming you see some when you dance while you dance. I was a fan long before I got this job, I admitted. I'd seen them eight or nine times. They're breathtaking.
SPEAKER_03:That's actually true. It is. Oh wait, we should No! Stop! Giving away! No, because people can go and like see how many times we've seen which bands. No, they won't know. That would be hard to figure out.
SPEAKER_05:It would be. Although not that hard, or they'd have to look his face, but why are we telling them this? Oh my god. It's fine. We've seen them many times.
SPEAKER_03:That's all we need to say.
SPEAKER_05:Many, many, many times. More times than on here now.
SPEAKER_03:No, you have seen them nine times, I've seen them ten.
SPEAKER_05:Oh no, it'll be eleven.
SPEAKER_03:For me and ten for you someday.
SPEAKER_05:Yes, someday. Someday in the future.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, go on.
SPEAKER_05:I thought you looked like it again not American. No. I thought you looked like it again.
SPEAKER_03:Did you hear that?
SPEAKER_05:No.
SPEAKER_03:They're bagging really hard against the window now. Because I closed the curtain. It's okay. It's okay.
SPEAKER_01:Bloody hell, village children.
SPEAKER_03:Leave us alone. I just want to get through this part. Hang on, because the kids banged really hard. Now they're banging on the kitchen window. Can I go stab them? No, don't do that. They're just they'll get bored if they don't get a reaction.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:No, hang on just a second. I think now Vincent's telling them off.
SPEAKER_01:I'm like, I'm like chilling, and now he's telling them off.
SPEAKER_05:That's hilarious.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, this is gonna be a brilliant gag real.
SPEAKER_05:Oh my god. What's he saying? Can you hear him? She disappeared through the flaps. Through the flaps.
SPEAKER_02:Through the terry flaps. Sucker my terry flaps. Touch my terry flaps.
SPEAKER_00:Seriously.
SPEAKER_02:I will never get through flaps. I'm saying keep doing that.
SPEAKER_03:Especially because it's Rick and Morty. And I can't actually remember the melody. No. No. I remember it wasn't like a very good one. It wasn't like a nuts melody. It was just like anyway. Hot. I'm reminding myself of Paris Hilton right now. It's weird. Do you remember in like the uh late 90s, early 2000s, everything was hot?
unknown:Hot.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_05:Hot. Nicole's dress, though also long and plain, had no sleeves and clung to her blustic blust. To her blust. To my blust. Nicole's dress. Nicole's dress, though also long and plain, had no sleeves and clung to her blast.
SPEAKER_01:You're broken record.
SPEAKER_05:I am just no, it's just words. No me. No me. No me. When Xander saw me, he winked. And when Jason saw Nicole, he loudly said to Zander, fuck! This isn't going to end well. Oh no, I need to make it. He said it like that, did he?
SPEAKER_01:Oh goodness.
SPEAKER_03:Other than that, it was beautiful. Nathan?
SPEAKER_01:Fuck my lad. Let me go.
SPEAKER_05:Oh my god, I so hope recording too goes better than this, because this is painful.
SPEAKER_03:It will be fine. Oh sometimes we think that, and then that's the recording I use because it's full of fun.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So shut up and don't shut up.
SPEAKER_02:Shut up and don't shut up.
SPEAKER_03:Don't shut up. Shut up here, but don't shut up there. Okay, let's go. I love how you we have like trick phrases to get into certain accents. For for anyone in it's oh my god. For the photographers, bells, bells, darling.
SPEAKER_05:Bells, darling, how you doing love? How you doing love? Bells. Bells, darling. It's from my time at the DLR, people.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly.
SPEAKER_05:Well, those Eastern boys. Wait. The one that Bella couldn't get through. Okay, alright, here we go.
SPEAKER_03:Zander didn't know. This is getting sexy, so you need to get your shit together. Let's get sexy. Thank you very much, my lovey. Okay. My lovey, you. I'm so sorry. My my lovely.
SPEAKER_05:My lovey.
SPEAKER_03:Alright, lovey. That's very South African as well. Like old ladies used to call us lovies. Ugh. Anyway. Oh. Yeah. Here we go. Okay, so that's that would be that colonialism. That's what that is.
SPEAKER_05:Right there.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Yeah. Alright, here we go.
SPEAKER_05:It just sounds like you've forgotten to say the word properly.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly. But that might be what it is, you know, because people who've not lived with British people for ages, but they've been colonized, blah blah blah blah blah. I'm relaxing my mouth at everything. It's not working. Smolderin. That's the word. That's the word? Is that the word? Do it.
SPEAKER_01:Do it. I sound like Shia Leb! Do it. Do it! Do it! Just do it!
SPEAKER_03:Which meant that I was looking down at everyone and praying that I don't fall on my face and break it. I mean, yeah. Which is quite likely. Yeah, they did not do any of this with me in mind, particularly, obviously. They really did not. But why would they? It wasn't supposed to be me. Exactly. And for my height, it does make sense that I'd be higher up.
unknown:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. Put the short short ass up high. At first I didn't react because I was so used to everyone calling me sticky or nikky or slutty instead. But obviously that wasn't going to go down very well professionally.
SPEAKER_01:Obviously. Obviously, that's not gonna call you slutty.
SPEAKER_05:Hey you slutty! Hey, you slutty!
SPEAKER_01:Hey you, Daddy!
SPEAKER_03:Get down here. I just wanted to try one more thing. I cannot. Oh my god. We used to be look guys. We went to drama school in the UK. We used to be able to drama school in Essex. We did, but that's not the point. We went to drama school, to one of the top five drama schools in the in the UK. And like we had to do every accent most well, most we could do most of the UK accents at some point. And here we are, with me going, I've all just completely lost the plot. Yeah, because we've been trying we've been out of practice for a while, I think. And we've also been doing American a lot. So now we're suddenly like, yes, I just want to try one more thing. Another accent. I just want to try one more thing. Oh no, I can't. That was better. Stick with that. Okay. Do you the admiration I now have have for like Robin Williams Robby, sorry. Robbie Williams and not Robbie Williams, Robin Williams. No Robin. Robin. The admiration I have for Robbie Williams. For Robin Williams and Jim Carey and all these people who just like switch so quick.
SPEAKER_05:Clessly slide into different accents.
SPEAKER_03:But we're gonna get there.
SPEAKER_05:Jody Coma.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. I bet season three you were like boom, bam, boom, bam, bam. But right now we're like now you can get the hilarity. Right. Yes. Kara, try looking less ape-like, the photographer said bluntly, and Bala snorted audibly. You're giving me baby snorts, woman.
SPEAKER_05:Really not. They sound loud here.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. There it is. Thank you. I'll keep that. I frowned, wondering how he looked better in makeup than I did. He really does. It pisses me off. He does look good in makeup. Yeah. They all do, bloody hell.
SPEAKER_05:Yes, they do. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03:Anyway.
SPEAKER_05:Alexander in makeup.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, all of them, honestly. Actually, every guard.
SPEAKER_05:Still my beating vagina.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah! Captain Kirk. Right in in Star Trek. Oh my god. Because you can see the eyeliner.
SPEAKER_05:She's and oh she's having a real moment with this. I'm so sorry. Hilarious. She's not been able to kink for a while because she hurt her back.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:So almost anyone right now, she's just like, yes. I could yes.
SPEAKER_03:But to be fair, Captain Kirk, right? Like William Shatner when he was 35. Oh my lord, he was gorgeous. Okay, I'm done. So, and the eyeliner. Oh my god, the eyeliner. Okay. Yeah. Sorry, just to be fair to us, you guys, can we just point out that I can do the Cockney accent, but switching between myself and then Cockney and then Carter. And then because if I just read the whole thing in Cockney, I would probably be okay.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. Also, the fact that we haven't trained ourselves in listening to it and repeating it and getting into the swing of it.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you guys are hearing us roar. Roar, roar, roar.
SPEAKER_05:So very roar.
SPEAKER_03:Because we don't ever because it's because we want it to be authentic and it's part of the fun. We never train the accent.
SPEAKER_05:So what you hear is us just like also because we don't we we sort of want to forget what we've already written. So when we're reading it to you guys, that it's it's kind of fresh and you really are getting reactions. We don't rehearse shit. Clearly. Clearly. Clearly. Clearly. Clearly, we don't. Yeah. Which is why you get all this crap. Which is amazing. That's hilarious and ridiculous.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly.
SPEAKER_05:Oh my god, it takes us so long to do a phone.
SPEAKER_03:Do it.
SPEAKER_05:Do it.
SPEAKER_03:Do it. Oh wow! That was scary, Bella. The way you just said do it sounded exactly like him.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Wow. I shat my pants a little there. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, where did that come from? Do it. That would be me.
SPEAKER_04:Do it.
SPEAKER_03:Do it. But it it passes. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Yeah. It's all in good fun. We love literally all of you. Like absolutely love you. There's no bullshit on we love Cockney too. It's all good. We're sorry.
SPEAKER_05:We love you.
SPEAKER_03:And thank you. If it comes across as making fun, we promise we we are not.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. We are just we're struggling. Yeah. Nikki. Don't sleep with Carter.
SPEAKER_03:Nikki!
SPEAKER_05:Fuck it all, Nikki!
SPEAKER_03:Noggle! I know how we go, hey, why is everyone calling me slutty?
SPEAKER_01:But then stuff like this though. That is why, Nicole. That is why. Case in point. Right.
SPEAKER_03:No, my my bone are against his hip. Yes. Your boner. Oh yeah. No, his bone are against my hip.