Unruly Confessions

Bonus: Gagreel Ep1 'In the Beginning'

Arabella Gourlay & Nicole van Niekerk Season 1

This is the Gagreel for Episode 1 In the Beginning. It's advisable to listen to the first episode first before you listen to the gagreel. 

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La transcription en français (The French Transcipt) : Dans la description de l'épisode.

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Theme Music: Rat Head - Big Mouse Tree House
Written and performed by: Nicole van Niekerk (Singer), Steve van Niekerk (Lead Guitar & Backing Vocals), Rachel Espeute (Bass & Backing Vocals) & Bertie Atkinson (Drums)

https://music.apple.com/us/album/rat-head/1347222686?i=1347223114

Also available on Spotify and Bandcamp.





Arabella:

Welcome to Unruly Confessions. So, let's start with a wee introduction to us. This is…

Nicole:

I am Nicole van…oh!

Arabella:

I don’t know.

Nicole:

That’s not…Are you reading off the script or are you making it up?

Arabella:

I was…and then (Nicole laughs) I know, I should have just let you read. I was just about to speak and then I went. I'm not Nicole Van Niekerk. (Nicole laughs again) So welcome to Unruly Confessions. So, let's start with a little introduction to us. I'm Arabella Gourlay and this is… I am Nicole van Niekerk.

Nicole:

I am Nicole van Niekerk. I should have just said, this is just Nicole, don't say this is! Don't say this is because it's weird, (Bella laughs) because then I'm like and this is Nicole van Niekerk? (Bella continues to laugh) Maybe say and this is my best friend, and then I can say Nicole van Niekerk. That makes sense.“He is my favourite”, I started, but…Don't overthink it, he replied shortly, “go sign the NDAs and I will make sure you meet the rest of the band later”. “Okay”. I just added that line. That's not what's written there.“I'm here with a friend, though. What's her name?” He asked, “and I'll make sure she gets the message”. Sure?

Arabella:

Sure. Sure.

Nicole:

Goodness, gracious, balls on fire, on fire! Here with your recap of the first episode…(Bella burps a very airy burp)

Arabella:

Hold on, sorry so sorry, can we start that again? At the same time, a big sort of burpy of air came up (chuckles)

Nicole:

(Claps to mark when there should be a cut and claps herself WAY too hard) Ow…(Bella has a right ol’ laugh)

Arabella:

Do you want to try that again?

Nicole:

Don’t kink while you’re recording (both chuckle) Putain (Nicole swears softly in French) He washed me, yeah! (Chuckles) This is intense! Would you mind going with Billy to sign an NDA? I reveal, I reve—oh, my God. No! Stop it! You know for Podcasters talking about a highly sexual story, we do struggle saying the word sexual, (chuckles)

Arabella:

Yes, we do. It’s, it’s an issue.

Nicole:

I’ve just noticed, like every time we’ve recorded something, we’re just like ss… sss…fff…buh buh…buh (wheezes a laugh)

Arabella:

Same with, p-p-p-penis (Nicole’s laughter intensifies)

Nicole:

Anyway, we’ll get there…please do speak so we can see if the levels are similar. Hi! Hello, hello…hello, hallo!

Arabella:

Hello…

Nicole:

Ahhhhhhoooo…ARRGGHH ! Okay, he didn’t like that—(both laugh) I wonder why! (Nicole makes terrible noises) Okay…Yah, that’s too much. (Bella laughs) I pulled out the bottom of the sofa to make it into a wider daybed. He pulled—he pulled—obviously not me, like I’m suddenly taking over his trailer, like, let me just (clears throat)

Arabella:

You also know that it does a thing…

Nicole:

I don’t know that it does a thing! I know very little right now, okay? I don’t know anything right now. (Bella laughs)

Arabella:

You barely know your name.

Nicole:

Exactly. I just know I’m here. In this room.

Arabella:

And this is happening.

Nicole:

I’m flattered but that doesn’t explain much, does it?

Arabella:

(Laughing) You’re just…you’re coming out for a fight, man!

Nicole:

I am. He cast a stern look at me. I sunk down onto my knees and commenced with the task he demanded…(giggles nervously) Oh, God.

Arabella:

Commence! Forthwith!

Nicole:

And now I have to do that thing that I’m actually really bad at, which is reading these scenes out loud…

Arabella:

She’s been super nervous about this part, and it’s hilarious, I cannot wait.

Nicole:

Oh gosh…

Arabella:

I’m going to find this hilarious.

Nicole:

Please, please no one laugh at me.

Arabella:

‘Cause right now what you guys don’t know is…I’m seeing her on video (Nicole laughs) So I get to see all the glorious reactions. (Manic laugh)

Nicole:

Okay, shuut, now. Luckily this is a short one for the very first episode. (clears throat) Don’t laugh at me. (Both laugh)

Arabella:

Just DO IT!

Nicole:

I curled the fingers of my left hand around the base of his cock, moving my head forward and swirling my tongue around the head. I closed my mouth around him and moved my mouth slowly down the shaft. Damn, he's big. This is hardly an easy task. But why am I complaining?

Arabella:

(Laughs) And why are doing it in a weird voice?

What? I don’t know! I’ve got a weird voice?Arabella:

It’s just and I am a genteel lady(Nicole laughs) describing this as if it's going to make it any more, any more any less…what it is.

Nicole:

I am certainly not a gentle lady. Okay? Fine, I'll try again. Bella clearly wants me to do this. I curled the fingers of my left hand around the base of his cock, moving my head forward and—

Arabella:

All right! (Both crack up) Oh, no I snorted!

Nicole:

Okay…I came, I came in my mouth (laughs)

Arabella:

Oh! Apparently…(Both laugh) Typo. Little typo there in the, in the, in the writing.

Nicole:

Yes! Nailing it!“Then shut up and get over here”, he ordered. Hmmm.

Arabella:

Happily day.

Nicole:

I walked deliberately--

Arabella:

Happily days? Happily days.

Nicole:

To be fair, it's okay. You can have muddled thoughts right now, it's normal.

Arabella:

You know, I would just be a mess.

Nicole:

Oh same, I mean totally.

Arabella:

You IS thirsty.

Nicole:

Woo, oh, oh! He blushed. I mean yes, I mean yes, damn, I don't blame the man. We're looking forward to seeing you here next week on Unruly Confessions, for the second episode of the season called…Unruly Confessions. (Laughs at silly forgetfulness) Am I okay?!

Arabella:

I don’t think either of us are!

Nicole:

Can I say anything else? I don't think I can say anything else! (Weird mouth noises and Bella laughs loudly) When you have Unruly Confessions on the brain.

Arabella:

On the brain.

Nicole:

Third time lucky, as they say.“I want you to continue on tour with us”. “Huh”? (Both burst out laughing) So it wasn't…

Arabella:

So smooth, so sexy. HUH (Like a donkey)

Nicole:

“You can't just assume things!” I complained, “that's not fair”. (Both scream laugh) I’m just proving his point though!

Arabella:

Literally hammering in the point!

Nicole:

Grumbling, grumbling that’s not fair”, Mike winked. “Doesn't sound bratty at all. Tell me I’m wrong”.

Arabella:

So please tune in next week for the second episode, which is called…

Nicole:

Uh…(very long pause then laughs)

Arabella:

(Laughs) Wow!

Nicole:

I forgot. Give me one second! “Time to wrap it up!” “Already?” Not, sorry, I overspoke…Already.

Arabella:

Nicky?

Nicole:

Yes?

Arabella:

Nicky?

 Nicole:

Yeah?

Arabella:

Can we stop? I'm late for my appointment.

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