Unruly Confessions

Bloody Hell, The Responsibility

Arabella Gourlay & Nicole van Niekerk Season 1 Episode 8

What happens when you mix rock 'n' roll mayhem with a tour bus full of quirky personalities? A lot, a whole lot, way too much in fact. It's quite over-whelming for everyone involved. 
 
 In this episode, Bella steps into the spotlight to share her side of the story for the first time (and don't you worry, this will continue as we go along) 
 The backstage antics and tour bus shenanigans are equal parts hilarious and heartwarming, there is a very large theme of friendship present throughout the episode, and even a hint at romance. What could possibly happen next?
 
 In the colourful tapestry of band life, there's a lot of light, and a little darkness, especially as it is peppered by Carter's ominous hints, and the constant bickering between Nicole and Carter, that tease at something more beneath the surface. 
 
 A romantic opportunity takes a devastating turn, begging the question...what is this a Soap Opera on Wheels?
 And finally, Bella and Nicole are asked to stay put in their hotel room so of course, they go looking for trouble...What are they up to this time? How far are they going to go? 
 
 If you want to find out, grab your headphones, prepare for some rock 'n' roll chaos, and get ready to be swept up in a story that promises laughter, love, and a dash of the unexpected. 

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La transcription en français (The French Transcipt) : Dans la description de l'épisode.

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Theme Music: Rat Head - Big Mouse Tree House
Written and performed by: Nicole van Niekerk (Singer), Steve van Niekerk (Lead Guitar & Backing Vocals), Rachel Espeute (Bass & Backing Vocals) & Bertie Atkinson (Drums)

https://music.apple.com/us/album/rat-head/1347222686?i=1347223114

Also available on Spotify and Bandcamp.





Unruly Confessions Ep 8 - Bloody Hell, The Responsibility

Arabella:

The following podcast contains adult themes, graphic sexual content, strong language, alcohol and drug references, and some infrequent violence. Everything you need for a wild ride.

Nicole:

Here I am again probably boring you by now, because I hope you all know and remember that this is all fictional. Bella and myself are real, The Band we have been inspired to create, but they are all made up and fictional and most of the events are also fictional. Some of them are inspired by things we've actually experienced, but the story as a whole is fictional.(Podcast theme music plays – Rat Head by Big Mouse Tree House) Welcome back to Unruly Confessions, Episode Eight.

Arabella:

Bloody hell, The Responsibility!

Nicole:

I am Nicole

Arabella:

and I'm Arabella.

Nicole:

Welcome back to our little corner of debauchery.

Arabella:

We like it here. We hope you do too. Welcome back.

Nicole:

And we are on the final part of this nine-hour day that we are working on that we've been telling you about. So, the previous two episodes were the part of that, and this is the last part of that.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

And it's exciting because we're starting off from my perspective. People

Nicole:

Bella’s finally going to read.

Arabella:

And Nicky’s finally going to do the recap(Arabella lets out an evil laugh)

Nicole:

Ah yes.

Arabella:

It's not me(Arabella continues to cackle)

Nicole:

Yes, I get to, we both get to be out of our comfort zones. You see, we try all sorts of things here.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Seriously out of our comfort zone. I'm like, I'm so worried about reading from my perspective. I hope you enjoy it. I hope it sounds good.

Nicole:

And I am so worried about reacting.

Arabella:

We don't have anxiety at all.

Nicole:

No(Nicole laughs) You would never be able to tell that our kink was hanging out with men telling us what to do(Nicole chuckles)

Arabella:

Because yeah.(Nicole continues to laugh)

Nicole:

So last week during the Episode Hell Fucking No, It’s Not Foreplay, I got in trouble Shocker because Mike couldn’t find me for an hour...and exaggerated just how long he stayed excited.

Arabella:

Seriously

Nicole:

I think Mike introduced himself to Bella, I hoped he’d make a good impression, and no one understood why it wasn’t the other way around. No one.

Arabella:

Exactly Like. I'm sorry. How is it that he has to make the good impression on me rather than the other way around?

Nicole:

Yeah

Arabella:

But you know, as besties we have priorities.

Nicole:

We do.(Both laugh) We finally. Bros over hoes? Is that how? No wait, what?

Arabella:

No, no. Hoes over bros.

Nicole:

Whatever.(Nicole laughs) We finally got to experience a first gig on this damn tour from the wings. Bella danced after making faces at me to make me giggle. And hyped up on adrenalin, I hung out with the band in their greenroom before they went off for a signing. But not before Jason overshared about the state of his equipment. And this is not code for drums.

Arabella:

It is really not.

Nicole:

I went to go get Bella,(Arabella woos) We hung out in the green room without the band catching up on the last few days. That was incredibly necessary.

Arabella:

So necessary

Nicole:

When the band got back, Bella finally got to meet everyone and handled it way better than I did the first time.

Arabella:

Hmmm

Nicole:

As you guys will well remember(Both laugh) We told the band how we met in way more detail than they cared for.

Arabella:

As always

Nicole:

They learned that Bella is as big a fan of them as I am.

Arabella:

I am.

Nicole:

It displeased Mike greatly to learn that not knowing where my phone is, is in fact a regular occurrence. I begged the band to let Bella on the tour, they were surprisingly happy to let her tag along, especially Zander to Bella’s happiness

Arabella:

Woo

Nicole:

And to my annoyance, Carter. Dickbag.(Arabella lets out a throaty laugh followed by Nicole) Back on the. Wow, excuse the brat.

Arabella:

That was a deep, deep feeling right there.

Nicole:

Yeah

Arabella:

That was a deep feeling.

Nicole:

Back on the bus, we got drunk with The Band. Mike and I had vanilla bunk sex due to our intoxication, but he did manage to cum on my dress before he fell asleep.

Arabella:

Well done.

Nicole:

I fell out of the bunk and embarrass myself in front of the rest of the band and Bella. Jason lent me his shirt almost immediately after I said that I have nothing to wear. And Bella allowed me to stash the dirty, dirty dress in her bag, as mine was under the bus.(Nicole cackles)

Arabella:

As best friends do. Mine luckily, because I came straight from the greenroom, hadn't quite made it under there yet. So happy days. Lucky you.

Nicole:

How lucky that is, because otherwise I'd be stuck with the gross stress, and I love how he let that be my problem.

Arabella:

Well, he's asleep, he's a man.

Nicole:

Fair enough.

Arabella:

It's always our problem,(Nicole laughs) it's always our problem.

Nicole:

Speaking of men and our problems. Um, my problem currently is CARTER!(Both laugh)

Arabella:

It is. Every time it’s CARTER!

Nicole:

But seriously, though, like we are like two squabbling siblings with way more sexual tension than siblings, but

Arabella:

Not like siblings, but sort of yes.

Nicole:

Step siblings? No, no.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

No, no, but you squabble like nothing else. But I honestly think it's more to do with the fact that he can't have you and he would like that. You've been brought onto this tour for a specific reason and with me, I'm just there for funsies, so I'm fair game. You were just like; can I bring my friend?

Nicole:

Well, he's definitely going the right way if that's if what he wants, is that.

Arabella:

Yeah, yeah.

Nicole:

It sounds like I'm being sarcastic, but actually I'm not.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

She's really not. She fucking loves it seriously. She loves all of that sort of argumentative foreplay.

Nicole:

Anyway, we need to be very careful. This could go wrong at any moment. Anyway,

Arabella:

Oh, it really could.

Nicole:

So, not, not to get on, to keep on that for too long. So that was our lovely. That was my first attempt at a recap of Episode Seven. Now we are,

Arabella:

Well done you.

Nicole:

Thank you very much. Uh, now we're gonna give Bella her hand at reading Episode Eight, and it's important to note that this is happening simultaneously, as from the last episode where Mike and I have gone into the bunk, that scene that you guys have already heard this is happening at the same time, but from Bella's perspective, as she's not with us.(Nicole hahahas)

Arabella:

Definitely not in your bunk.

Nicole:

There's no space for three people in there.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

There's really not. There's really not. It's very tiny. All right, here we go. Episode Eight - Bloody Hell, The Responsibility(Podcast theme music plays – Rat Head by Big Mouse Tree House) Oh no! All the attention was on me which was both wonderful and absolutely terrifying. Nicole and Mike had disappeared into the bunk, and I was sitting between all the guys, thinking of something good to say.“How come you weren’t part of the dancers from the start of the tour?” Jason asked me.‘Thank God for Jay’s curiosity’, I thought gratefully.“My agency only covers the UK and European territories”, I responded.“I don’t remember seeing you at Sonisphere”, Noah remarked.“And I would’ve definitely remembered you”, Zander added to which I tried very hard not to blush but failed.(Nicole laughs a little)“Honestly, it was very last minute and hush hush”, I admitted. “Someone must’ve dropped out of the tour, having just started because my first rehearsal with the other girls was the tech run this afternoon—it’s not uncommon for things to be last minute though—every break I got, I called Nicky absolutely fuming that she went awol”.

Nicole:

Sorry.

Arabella:

They laughed. Yes,(Nicole laughs) You with your AWOL-ness.

Nicole:

Sorry

Arabella:

Be better, be better.

Nicole:

I try.(Arabella laughs with Nicole)

Arabella:

They laughed and I tried to hide just how thrilled I was to be there. I was on a roll having finally, thanks to Jason, succeeded in finding something to talk about.“I didn’t even know I was auditioning for The Band until I arrived at the audition”, I told them.“How’s that possible?” Carter asked me.“They keep it on the down-low, so it doesn’t get saturated”, I explained, “it’s not an open audition. I just knew it was for an American metal band. Could’ve been anyone from Steel Panther to Slayer”.(Both Nicole and Arabella chuckle) I chuckled.“When I got to the audition, fully expecting something like Steel Panther, then heard it was you, I shat my pants”.(Nicole laughs) They laughed again.“Not literally”, I added quickly(Nicole bursts out laughing) to which they laughed even harder. Of course, not literally. What a twat.(Arabella laughs)

Nicole:

I can see why, though I, I feel like I would have to say, not literally, but then, then again, this is something I would probably admit to and not you.(Nicole starts laughing again)

Arabella:

Yes, by accident you would admit to it. You’d be like, oh my god, I just told you that.

Nicole:

Yep, yep

Arabella:

Not“We assumed not literally”, Zander assured me to which I blushed again. I needed to stop blushing so much, so he didn’t realise he was my favourite. I needed the upper hand in flirting.

Nicole:

I think you're okay, though, because, considering, he said, I would have definitely remembered you. You know, I think you've got the upper hand.

Arabella:

Yeah, but I'm a bit of a knob. I'm a bit of a knob who doesn't always figure out someone's flirting with me when they’re flirting with me.

Nicole:

This is true. And it is very apparent later on in this story.(Both laugh)

Arabella:

Yes, I am that self-conscious, awkward person that's like no, why would? No, surely not me. You must have something wrong there.

Nicole:

Yep

Arabella:

“Of course, when I got the job, I immediately called Nicky—and guess what?”“She didn’t answer her phone”, Jason answered smiling.“Nothing!”“What time was the audition?” Noah asked.“Around seven in the evening”.“Yeah, she was getting ready to watch us”, Jason stated.“I know!” I said, “but I sent texts and everything. She ignored the lot of them. Trust me, the murderous intent I had at the time- “(Nicole quietly chuckles) I was elated that I was making them laugh so often.“She seems like hard work”, Carter frowned.

Nicole:

Ughh

Arabella:

“No!”

Nicole:

Dickbag!

Arabella:

I defended immediately, I know right, dickhead!(Nicole laughs) Back off, back off. Only I'm allowed to say it. Not you, not you.“She seems like hard work”, Carter frowned.“No!” I defended immediately, “I mean yes, but that’s just mostly because she has a lot of erratic energy and it all goes all over the place, you know? But she cares a lot and damn, the fun we’ve had”.“Oh, we know”, Zander smirked.“What do you mean?” I asked, frowning. Zander quickly cleared his throat. “I—just—no, nothing”, he stuttered in an unconfident version of himself I couldn’t have imagined.(Nicole laughs) Jason’s wide grin told a different story.“Nicky’s been running her mouth, hasn’t she?” I asked knowingly.“Well, yeah”, Noah responded, “but in her defence, we(Both burst out laughing)

Nicole:

(Imitating Arabella) In her defence.

Arabella:

In her defence

Nicole:

He’s about to

Arabella:

Ye Haaaa!

Nicole:

He's about to pull out a revolver.(Both still laughing)

Arabella:

I shot the sheriff.(Nicoles laugh turns into a full-on cackle)

Nicole:

Bless you.

Arabella:

Oh my God

Nicole:

It was going to happen. Honestly, guys, I don't know what you guys are thinking, but I am actually super impressed with Bella's accent. Like I can't remember my,(Arabella makes a weird noise erghhh) my very first episode when I was attempting American accents, that was hard. Now I feel,

Arabella:

Oh my God, it

Nicole:

Go on.

Arabella:

No, you do it well, you do it really well.

Nicole:

I don't. But at the same time, I now have an issue where my brain is sort of kind of, because we do this so often, my brain has sort of taken it, and now sometimes, just having dinner with Vince, he's like why you Californian now.(Arabella cackles) Dude, pass the butter.

Arabella:

You're slowly becoming(Nicole cackles again) whereas me, once I go southern, it's very hard to get me out.

Nicole:

It is, but you've been doing super well. It was just there in, in her defence.(Nicole sniggers)

Arabella:

In her defence,(Nicole evil giggles) Right,

Nicole:

But anyway, let's not dwell on it too long, because then you'll get stuck in it again.

Arabella:

Let me try that again.“Well, yeah”, Noah responded, “but in her defence, we absolutely coerced most of the details out of her”.

Nicole:

Nice.

Arabella:

“Whatever”, I smiled, “I’m sure she hasn’t told you the really insane stuff”.“What’s the really insane stuff?” Jason wanted to know immediately.“Ah, I’m not as easy to strong-arm as Nicky”, I told him, “Especially by the likes of you. To be clear, Nicky is not easy to strong-arm but The Band is her weak spot”.(Nicole hmms in agreement)“We’re not yours?” Zander surprised me by asking.“No, you are”, I smiled, leaving it up to interpretation if I meant The Band or him personally, though both were true. Yeah, yeah, that’s right.(Nicole chuckles)“How do you like this bus so far?” Noah asked curiously. “It’s not driving you crazy yet?”“I just got here”, I smiled, “but I like it”.“Just wait”, Carter said, “weeks on a bus changes you…someways, sometimes in ways you are unprepared for”.

Nicole:

What happened to Carter?(Both start to laugh) What happened on this bus?

Arabella:

Something really bad happened,

Nicole:

Something

Arabella:

He’s, he’s, he's not okay.

Nicole:

Ooo, I have an idea for you guys for this episode. Can you comment what you theorize happened to Carter on this bus that he

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

Is so fucked up?

Arabella:

Haunted by. Haunted!

Nicole:

Why is he acting like a moody emo bitch?(Both burst out laughing again)

Arabella:

‘Cause he is one.

Nicole:

So sorry, I didn't mean that. Please don't come for me, carter(Arabella giggles)

Arabella:

All right, here we go“Just wait”, Carter said, “weeks on a bus changes you…someways, sometimes in ways you are unprepared for”. I was about to ask him what he meant by that eery statement when I was distracted by a loud ‘shhh’ coming from Nicole’s bunk. Jason snorted. A minute later, there were another series of ‘shhhs’ in a row.“They’re not hiding it very well”, Noah remarked.“Well, if Mike could just shut the hell up himself”, I suggested. The rest of the guys laughed.(Both Nicole and Arabella laugh a little)“Oh”, I cringed, “that was a bit harsh. I do defend Nicky almost to the death. Please don’t tell Mike I said that”.“Relax”, Jason smiled, “this day and age, women are able to tell men to shut up and not be lobotomised”. Oh, southern again.

Nicole:

It was good though, I liked it(Nicole giggles)

Arabella:

Thank you very much. It was my turn to laugh. “I did not expect that!”“You’ll learn that you always have to expect the unexpected with Jay”,(Nicole scoffs and Arabella tries not to laugh as she splutters the words out) Zander told me.

Nicole:

Guys, I think we're just going to have to accept that the band is from a different part of America when Bella reads.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

It’s going southern now. I'm so sorry. I find it really hard to come out the southern accent once I'm there I can't hear other accents, I'm just there.

Nicole:

I think you know what I think we should do. You should do Billy's accent from now on.

Arabella:

Oh my god(Both burst out laughing again)

Nicole:

I think it'll be funny.

Arabella:

Yeah, we’ll give it a go. What do you think people?

Nicole:

I think we should.

Arabella:

What do you think? Have a vote on that.“I can see that”, I smiled at Zander, and I imagined I saw him blush a little.“So have you been dancing long?” Zander asked me.“I’ve been dancing since I could walk”, I chuckled, “but you mean professionally?” He nodded.“About two years after I finished Acting School”, I answered. “I tried my hand at small plays and such, found it wasn’t really fulfilling me completely…then started doing a dancing gig here and there, and before I knew it, I was dancing for bands and in plays, and then I suddenly got offered film as well”.“Funny how the world works”, Zander said, “and how we end up where we need to be”. Jason agreed. “Like for example, how I was playing for national orchestras in high school, and as a favour to Zander played with my friends, when who knew it would turn out to be the best choice I ever made?” Zander nudged Jason with his shoulder. Awwwww those two. They’re so cute.

Nicole:

Friendship There's a theme here, guys. There's a pattern in this story.

Arabella:

There, there is. Then next thing we knew, Nicole came flinging herself out of her bunk and onto the bus floor…

Nicole:

Yeah, so if you guys remember, this is the episode. So, this is from last week's episode where we do the whole thing, where I chat and everyone, I get a shirt and everything. You know, if you listen to the recap, um this happens here and then away I go.

Arabella:

Yes Once Nicole was safely back in a bunk, it suddenly dawned on me. “Is there a bunk for me?”“Sure, there’s an empty one at the end”, Carter pointed it out.

Nicole:

Oh, lovely Look how he helps you.

Arabella:

So helpful. Such a sweet boy, such a sweet boy.

Nicole:

Such a sweet boy.(Arabella laughs) I'm not jealous, no, I'm not?

Arabella:

No, not at all,(Nicole laughs) Never.“Sure, there’s an empty one at the end”, Carter pointed it out.

Nicole:

Did you say, cunter?

Arabella:

unless you'd rather, I think I did(Both stat laughing)

Nicole:

Freudian slip. Cunter

Arabella:

Cunter.

Nicole:

I love that. I'm gonna. That's, that's he's now

Arabella:

Forever his name shall be Cunter.(Nicole carries on cracking up)

Nicole:

Sorry, go on

Arabella:

Let me try that again.“Sure, there’s an empty one at the end”, Carter pointed it out.“Unless you’d rather share with someone”, Jason winked.“I’d best behave at least for now”, I answered vaguely, trying to save myself from too directly telling Jason that I couldn’t possibly do anything with him as he was Nicole’s favourite.“Anyway, I’m going to bed”, Carter announced, rising from the sofa, “long day tomorrow, and it’s late”.“Old man”,(Nicole scoffs as Arabella tries not to laugh whilst speaking) Jason called him jokingly. Carter didn’t respond but chuckled his way halfway up the hallway to his bunk.

Nicole:

Really? So, so, Jason can call him an old man, all is well. If I call him an old man, he shits the bed.

Arabella:

Well, let's be honest, this went slightly differently than the last time, didn't it?

Nicole:

What do you mean?

Arabella:

You may have said things before that might have triggered it a little bit more.

Nicole:

Oh right, yep.

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

Yeah

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

Yeah, it wasn't the old man thing got it, got it.

Arabella:

No, it didn't help but it was just the icing.

Nicole:

It didn’t help. It was the icing after I told him that he was being a sexually frustrated little boy

Arabella:

Yes, and the fact that you were pointing out he was drinking even though he wasn’t.

Nicole:

Oh yeah, oh shit, I did a lot of things wrong.

Arabella:

Yeah, you did.

Nicole:

Whoops. All right, old man it is then.(Nicole starts to laugh)

Arabella:

You were a sassy wee bitch(Arabella joins in the laughter)“All jokes aside”, Zander stated, “we should probably all go to bed”.“Fine”, Jason relented. “Bella, it’s been a pleasure, that I’m sure we can continue tomorrow”.“Sure thing, Jay”, I smiled. I got up from the sofa as well. “Well, goodnight, you guys”.“Goodnight!” Noah and Jason got up and went to their bunks pretty quickly. I glanced at Zander who still hadn’t moved. He sighed. “They left me with all the fucking glasses”.“I can do that”.“That’s kind”, he smiled, “but I’ve got it”.“Let me at least give you a hand”, I offered, starting to gather the glasses, “that way I get to spend a moment longer with you”. I bit my lip as I realised, I gave away some of my feelings but was happy to see that he nodded gracefully.“I appreciate that”, he said. “Then again, we could always wake Nicole and make her do it.(Arabella snorts)(Mocks my own way of saying it) Do it.

Nicole:

That was great though I actually thought he would really speak like that. He has a drawl, Zander.

Arabella:

Yeah. Yeah, that’s true.

Nicole:

He has a drawl I think that you nail most of the time. So, I don't know. Yeah, I thought it was badass.

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

Go again.

Arabella:

Right,

Nicole:

Let's hear it.

Arabella:

Yeahhh“I appreciate that”, he said. “Then again, we could always wake Nicole and make her do it. Acts of service is part of her deal”.“I grasp that you are joking”, I told him, “But don’t do that, she will quite literally harm you if you wake her to wash dishes”.

Nicole:

Correct, he would be a dead man.

Arabella:

So dead. I have seen the flying squirrel in action, and she is terrifying.

Nicole:

Save the band from killing their guitarist, so sorry.

Arabella:

Yes, she would wake up after that episode and be like oh shit, what did I do?

Nicole:

For sure, for sure.

Arabella:

Yes He chuckled. “I figured”. Zander grabbed the bottle of whiskey and a few beer bottles from the table and threw it in the recycling. I rinsed the glasses, and Zander dried them and put them away while we talked about their shows light-heartedly.

When we had finished, we stood awkwardly watching each other for a few seconds. I couldn’t bare it any longer, so I said:

“Okay, goodnight”.“Goodnight”. The next moment, he leaned in and gave me a kiss right on the lips. I was so surprised that I hit the back of my head against the cupboard.(Nicole bursts out laughing)

Nicole:

I'm so sorry, I don't mean to laugh at your, at you your mess.

Arabella:

My spazzy moment.“Shit”, he said, “sorry. I don’t know what came over me”. He clearly misunderstood my reaction.“No, Zander, it’s all right”, I told him, “I was just surprised…”“I clearly had a few too many”, he said bashfully, “right, I’ll see you in the morning”. With that, he disappeared into his bunk, and I was left feeling a bit dissatisfied. A bit?(Nicole laughs)

Nicole:

A bit.

Arabella:

I was completely, hugely dissatisfied.

Nicole:

The most dissatisfied you've ever been

Arabella:

Oh my god, what a twat! Ever in my life What a twat am I?

Nicole:

Oh no, I get it though,

Arabella:

Ohhh my god

Nicole:

Can you imagine though, the guitarist, the lead guitarist of your favourite band, surprise kissing you

Arabella:

And, and, and I, I sort of go ughh. I mean like, who does that?

Nicole:

But at the same time, can you be blamed? I mean, you weren't expecting it. It's huge, it's a big deal.

Arabella:

It really was you know; I've been in love with him since I was what, 12, 13?

Nicole:

Gosh, really?

Arabella:

It's, yeah, it’s been a long time.

Nicole:

That's kind of gross he must have been. How old was he? 21?

Arabella:

Yeah,

Nicole:

Bella

Arabella:

I was a teenage girl. You fancy the, the people that were. That's normal you twat.

Nicole:

Sick

Arabella:

It’s not like he was dating me.

Nicole:

You're sick. No, I'm kidding, I know, I know,(Nicole wheezes a laugh) I'm just making. I know,

Arabella:

You twat

Nicole:

I know I was fa. Look, I have a story of having a crush when I was a literal little girl, on people who were 40 so.

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

It's just ‘cause I didn't know, I don't know any, I didn't know anything about it at the time. You know, you were 13 but

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

I'm just, I'm just me, I'm. You are right, I'm just being a twat, but I thought it was funny,

Arabella:

And that’s the normal time to start in fact, earlier is slightly normal to start developing crushes on guys.

Nicole:

True. Well, I can admit that when I first got a crush on Jason, I was a literal adult(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Yes, you were.

Nicole:

It was 2008. How old was I in 2008 Bella? 20

Arabella:

20, you were 20

Nicole:

I was a literal adult, and he was 27. Yeah.

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

27, 28, maybe

Arabella:

Exactly, so Zander is

Nicole:

Same age.

Arabella:

What, nine years older than me?

Nicole:

Oh yeah, you're younger than me, I forget

Arabella:

Yes, even though in this,

Nicole:

Oh yeah

Arabella:

In this, we're the same age.

Nicole:

Oh, are we?

Arabella:

I can't remember why.

Nicole:

Oh yeah.

Arabella:

Yeah, because I think, because we forget we're not the same age.

Nicole:

Oh yeah, so in in fictional land, we are the same age.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Because it just makes more sense to us that way.

Nicole:

Zander is very confusing to me because he's so,

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

I, I find him personally, he's lovely and all, but I personally find that he um, he often comes across as arrogant,(Nicole chuckles) and he has the right to be because he's incredibly good, but like,

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

The thing is, um, this is so strange because he's like, so confident and the next moment he's so not confident.

Arabella:

Not, exactly, and, and it's sort of like. I kind of get it though, because I'm quite similar in a way.

Nicole:

Yeah, you, you guys are very evenly matched.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Yeah, I seem super confident and everything when I'm with people

Nicole:

Yep

Arabella:

And stuff, but really, I am just a terrified gremlin

Nicole:

Yep

Arabella:

Behind it all.

Nicole:

And I

Arabella:

Just going nuuuggghhhhh(Nicole laughs)

Nicole:

And I, absolutely I am, I am confident, but maybe too much,(Nicole wheezes a laugh) because I will just say whatever

Arabella:

Ohhh you’re just the right amount

Nicole:

No, no, no, no, no, Too much, way too much

Arabella:

No, no. that’s, that's Terrence's fault though, you saying too much, your drunk little mouth pirate

Nicole:

That's true. Like my friend, my French friend, who, just literally before we started recording today, told me the French expression ‘Tu mets les pieds dans le plat’, which means you walk over the food, which means I take a really delicate situation, and I make it brutal.(Nicole laughs followed by Arabella)

Arabella:

Yes, yes, you do

Nicole:

Bless him.

Arabella:

You put your foot in your mouth

Nicole:

Yep

Arabella:

A lot.

Nicole:

I woke up the next morning with what I thought was the worst hangover of my life so far. I'm such an exaggerator(Nicole laughs) Probably not

Arabella:

Every time

Nicole:

Every single time

Arabella:

Every time.

Nicole:

Noooo

Arabella:

This is the worst, the worst ever. I'm never drinking again!

Nicole:

Yep I woke up the next morning with what I thought was the worst hangover of my life so far.“Are you awake?” Mike asked from somewhere behind me which meant he was outside the bunk somewhere.“I think I’m dead or dying”.(Arabella scoffs a laugh)“Awesome”, he chuckled. “Do you want coffee?”“Yes, God yes!” So easy to please after as well. With the coffee.

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

I slipped out from the bunk. Mike frowned at Jason’s shirt that I was still wearing. “You didn’t exactly give me much choice—remember?”

Arabella:

So sassy

Nicole:

“No worries”. What?

Arabella:

I said so sassy

Nicole:

I know, but I haven't had coffee yet.(Nicole pretend cry laughs)

Arabella:

You have not.

Nicole:

He's very smart to offer me coffee right off the bat.

Arabella:

Yes, he brings it.

Nicole:

Are you awake? Do you want coffee?(Nicole laughs some more)

Arabella:

He's learning.

Nicole:

Very fast, bless“No worries”. He handed me a mug of coffee.“Thank you so much”, I said, immediately taking a huge gulp and yelling.(Nicole wheezes into a big laugh) Aggghhhhhhh“Yeah, it’s hot”, he said, “it’s fucking coffee”.(Both chuckle) So sorry but, yes.“It’s fine”, I said, ignoring the burning in my throat. “I need coffee more than I need my throat”.“I need your throat”. Ooooo(Arabella giggles)“Ooo, flirty this morning, aren’t we?” I walked to the back of the bus where everyone, but Jason was sitting at the tables. I love that. I go ooh, flirty. And then I walk away from him.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Yeah, you‘re just like la-di-da-di-da-di-da-di-da

Nicole:

You're so flirty. Goodbye.(Nicole continues to laugh)

Arabella:

See yaaa

Nicole:

I sat down. I also love that. I noticed Jason wasn't there. Everyone's there but,

Arabella:

Obviously.

Nicole:

Jason's not here.(Nicole clears her throat)

Arabella:

Of course you were, you, every time you notice him first out of everyone.

Nicole:

That is true. But then everyone does, because he's huge

Arabella:

Yeah, but also when he's not there, you look around going. Where is he?

Nicole:

Exactly, that's exactly what's happening.(Nicole laughs) I sat down with my coffee and noticed everyone else was nursing a coffee as well. Everyone besides Bella who was drinking tea instead. Whack job

Arabella:

Every damn time

Nicole:

So weird, so weird

Arabella:

So British

Nicole:

(Nicole laughs) Yeah, spot the Brit amongst us.

Arabella:

Nyaaas

Nicole:

Without the noise of nyaaas(Nicole laughs again)

Arabella:

Nyaaas

Nicole:

Five minutes later, Jason came half-dancing, half-singing down the hallway.

Arabella:

“How the hell are you so chirpy?”

Nicole:

Bella asked, her tone somewhere between admiration and annoyance.“I’m glad you asked that question, Bella”, Zander said, “you see, Jay is actually mostly metal now”.“In more ways than one”, Jason grinned.“Since his near-death accident, they had to fill his skull with metal so I’m sure nothing has an effect on him anymore”, Zander half-joked.“That, and I might still be drunk”, Jason said, high-fived Zander and ruffled my hair before heading up the bus to grab a coffee.(Arabella then Nicole chuckles) I tried to unsuccessfully hide my red cheeks. I mean, they're actually red right now and

Arabella:

They literally are

Nicole:

and I'm just reading.

Arabella:

It's hilarious.

Nicole:

I'm just reading.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Bright red.

Nicole:

Ahhhhh, he has a lot of special effects on me.

Arabella:

Yes, your shaking.

Nicole:

Yeah. Mike crossed his arms and stared at me, smirking.“What?” I asked, not looking directly at him.“Do you have a thing for Jay?” Mike teased.“What d’you mean?”“That question could not possibly have a different interpretation”, Carter pointed out. Ughh, why?(Arabella laughs) He’s always on my case?

Arabella:

He's so sassy. I love, love it.

Nicole:

“I don’t—there’s nothing”, I said, quickly, “he’s kind to me”.“You do blush whenever he comes within a metre of you” Carter added again.(Nicole makes a grouchy nnnmmm sound and Arabella laughs)“That’s not true”, I said, “—not every time”.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

“You have nothing to worry about, Mike”,

Nicole:

Bella came to my rescue.

Arabella:

“If there was something to know, I’d know about it”.

Nicole:

Bella and Zander seemed a little awkward around each other that morning. I made a mental note to ask her about it later.“What time are we in Lyon?” I asked, sipping at my second coffee-on Mike’s lap five minutes later. He's put me on his lap because he's like if you're gonna be…

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

…weirdly blushy around Jason, I'm putting you somewhere near me.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

Show you who's boss

Arabella:

You’re staying with me.

Nicole:

“The Lyon show is in two days. Tonight’s show is in Bordeaux”.“Oh!” I said, surprised. “I lost a show somewhere, I thought we were going straight to Lyon”.“No, that’s tomorrow”, Jason told me.

Arabella:

“If the Lyon show is in two days, what are we doing tomorrow when we get to Lyon then?”

Nicole:

Bella asked curiously.“Not much”, Zander told her. “Chilling mostly. Writing, whatever. We do have a photo shoot in a few days”.

Both:

“Oh, cool!”

Nicole:

Bella and I said at the same time.“For the press for the tour, you know?” Zander added in Bella’s direction.

Arabella:

“Of course.”

Nicole:

She replied, looking dreamily into his eyes. So, like how does she manage not to blush all the time? Yeah, Bella how?

Arabella:

‘Cause I don’t. I’m hardcore.(Nicole wheezes a laugh) I don’t know.

Nicole:

It's true that you don't blush much at all though.

Arabella:

I don’t. I'm not much of a blusher.

Nicole:

Yeah, you don't do awfully embarrassing things like every five minutes of your life.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

I do. I do fairly embarrassing things, but I still don't blush. However, my face does flush when I have wine or things like that. I overheat a lot, so I get very red.

Nicole:

You overheat a lot, but you don't blush. I'm just like blushing all day.(Nicole chuckles)

Arabella:

Yes, you are

Nicole:

And I'm not even like, I'm not as pale as you either. I'm like more olive-y, and yet I blush so often.(Nicole chuckles again)

Arabella:

Yes, I am the pale one.

Nicole:

It makes zero sense. Anyway,(Theme music plays signalling a break)“Where’s the photo shoot?” I asked.“A graveyard in Milan”, Mike responded.“Well-that sounds exciting!” I exclaimed. “Are we going with you?”“If you behave-““I always behave!” I insisted, “when do I not behave?”(Arabella spurts a laugh)“Don’t push it”, Mike chuckled. I giggled. “Don’t fret, Mr. Solomon-I have no intention of misbehaving today”.“Damn”, Carter said, sarcastically. “Well, then there’s always tomorrow”. I mean, what?(Both laugh) Why? It's so unnecessary. Even Carter couldn’t bother me that morning. I had my best friend on the tour. As though

Arabella:

Yeah, you did!

Nicole:

As though she could hear my thoughts, Bella winked at me.

Arabella:

For the audience members. I am now winking at Nicole(Nicole laughs) because I can

Nicole:

Thanks

Arabella:

Apart from I can't really. I'm terrible at winking.

Nicole:

Yep. True.

Arabella:

“So why are we roaming Lyon tomorrow instead of Paris? Paris would’ve made more sense”.

Nicole:

“You know”, Zander said. “I completely agree. This is why I’d like a woman in charge of the tour again”. Carter snorted. “We all remember what happened last time...” He cast a look in Zander’s direction. “I still think women get in the way of our professionalism”.(Both scoff) I think it gets in the way of his professionalism.

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

Like he's been,

Arabella:

He's the only one that seems to have like blughlalalala

Nicole:

Yeah, he's the one who seems to have lost all control of his politeness. I don't know,

Arabella:

Yeah, I don't know.

Nicole:

Carter snorted. “We all remember what happened last time...” He cast a look in Zander’s direction. “I still think women get in the way of our professionalism”.

Arabella:

“Why didn’t you ask to stay in Paris?” Bella asked, quickly to change the subject.

Nicole:

“Well, we’ve been there so many times”, Jason said. “We’re exploring some new options”.“There’s always more to see”, Mike agreed.“To be fair, Lyon is absolutely lovely”, I told them all. “Bordeaux too. I can show you guys things if there’s nothing to do”.

Arabella:

“Nicky, have you called your parents yet?”

Nicole:

“Oh No!”“Oh no, what?” Mike asked, alarmed.“I never charged my phone, but I should really call my parents!” The guys laughed.

Arabella:

“You really should. I may or may not have called them when I couldn’t get a hold of you for two whole days. I also called both your brothers”.

Nicole:

“Ughh It’s not funny, you guys!” I scolded, trying to get off Mike’s lap. He held me there easily by my hips.“Come on, let go of me”, I begged. “They’ll be really worried! We have a call at least once a week”.

Arabella:

“I charged your phone. Present hungover Bella thanks past drunk Bella”.

Nicole:

“You’re amazing!” I called, struggling against Mike’s grip on my hips. He let go of me and I hurried to hug Bella enthusiastically despite my hangover.

Arabella:

“It’s on the table next to the portable gas stove”,

Nicole:

“What would I do without you?” I laughed.

Arabella:

“What would I do without you”

As I walked over to find my mobile, I heard Mike ask Bella:

“So she’s quite close with her parents?” I don't know why he's asking that, like he wants to murder me.(Nicole wheezes a laugh) Like why

Arabella:

No, I, I didn't think it was like that.

Nicole:

Oh Okay

Arabella:

I think he's just curious about this family dynamic.

Nicole:

Okay, that's good, because otherwise it just sounds like oh shit, someone's going to notice she's gone.(Nicole giggles) Damn it!

Arabella:

Also, you brought your best friend on tour. Someone else might notice you've gone.

Nicole:

Okay, yeah, nope, I was just kidding, I know he's not. He's not a murdery type. Okay, moving on.(Arabella and Nicole laugh)

Arabella:

Oh, those murdery types.

Nicole:

No, it came out weird.(Both still laughing) Guys it's very clear to know that we're kidding, right? Like

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

There is no murder or actual violence in kink. Nothing.

Arabella:

None

Nicole:

The BDSM community is the safest place you will ever do sex. I don't do with any other community because it's safe. That’s it.

Arabella:

Exactly. There are rules that you play by. There are, you know. It's all put in to make sure everyone is safe, happy and cared of, cared for.

Nicole:

Yeah There were multiple missed calls and messages from my parents and my brothers. I dialled my dad’s number.“Hello?” my dad answered, enquiringly. “Nicole?”“Hello, Daddy!”(Both burst out laughing) I said Hello Daddy

Arabella:

Hello Daddy.(Singing) Well, hello Daddy.(Arabella joins in the singing) Daddy Hello Daddy.

Nicole:

(Singing) Well, hello Daddy, It’s, I'm so sorry that it's been so very long.(Both bursting with laughter because we are finding ourselves so very funny) Sorry, no, that's absolutely not what happened, so sorry. We've gone on a tangent.

Arabella:

(Arabella keeps singing) Nice to speak to you Daddy.

Nicole:

(Followed again by Nicole) Very kind, daddy, Anyway,“Hello?” my dad answered, enquiringly. “Nicole?”“Hello, Daddy!” I said in Afrikaans, my native language.“Where are you?” he asked, annoyed. “We expected to see you back before your flight. Was your flight not meant to be yesterday? Also, Bella called yesterday. She didn’t even know where you were except that you had gone to the festival the day before. Where are you?”“It was”, I answered, “and I’m sorry but I was called back to France for work”.“You couldn’t say that you were on holiday?”“Well, I could’ve but this is important work”, I explained. “Look, cards on the table. I was invited on a tour—uh, to sing”.(Arabella scoffs) I had to lie a little.

Arabella:

Just a tad.

Nicole:

No parent needs the sordid details.“Wow-really?” He sounded impressed and I breathed a sigh of relief.“You remember the posters I had on my walls when I was younger, The Band?” I asked.“Yeah-the heavily tattooed guys?”(Nicole laughs)“Of course that’s what you’d remember”.“How did you even meet them?” he asked, puzzled.“At the festival”, I told him, honestly. “By chance. Silvia and I won a competition. I chatted to the lead vocalist, and he invited me on tour”.“Strange”, my dad said, suspiciously. “It seems a bit sudden and impulsive- ““It’s definitely that- ““You’re sure you know what you’re doing?” he asked, concerned. My dad has already figured out. My dad, like I won't I don't say this kind of stuff directly to my dad, but he immediately knows I'm not on the tour to sing.

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

He knows

Arabella:

He knows

Nicole:

Yes“Of course, trust me”, I said quickly, trying to convince both of us. “It’s a complete dream come true for me”.“Where are you now?”“We’re on the tour bus”, I told him. “On our way to Bordeaux. Tomorrow we’re going to Lyon”.“Not far from your house then”.“No, about two hours or so”.“Are you going to stop over there?” he asked. “Could we come see a show with you in it?”(Arabella laughs mockingly) Just in case, just to make me a little bit uncomfortable here.

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

“Well, I’m not sure it’s worth the effort”, I lied again. “I’m not singing the whole show with them”.“Well, if they’re that big and famous”, he pressed, “it is a big deal”.“You can’t make the Bordeaux show”, I told him. “It’s tonight, and the Lyon show is in two days. There won’t be flights on such short notice- “

Arabella:

Bullshit

Nicole:

We did no but no. But here where we live, there really is only like two flights a week.

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

Yeah, you know that you have to buy your tickets really far in advance.

Arabella:

Yes, but he totally would just fly to the nearest airport and drive.

Nicole:

Fair.“We can come to the show after that”, he said, “where is it?”“I’m not sure”.(Arabella laughs) I bit my lip, thinking. “They don’t really keep me in the loop of the tour schedule. I just tag along”. He sighed. If he didn't know I wasn't singing, he surely does now.

Arabella:

He certainly does now.

Nicole:

He sighed. “Are you sure you’re safe?”(Arabella scoffs and Nicole nehhs)“Do I have to remind you that I’m thirty-three years old?”“No, I trust you”, he answered. “If you say this is good for you, I believe you”. He clearly suspected I was not invited on tour to sing but decided not to push it any further.

Arabella:

Well done, Daddy

Nicole:

“Thank you, Dad”, I smiled. Hey?

Arabella:

I said well-done Daddy.(Arabella lets out a breathy laugh)

Nicole:

Well done indeed. Well, he can't do much.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

No.

Nicole:

“Oh! I forgot to tell you…Bella joined the tour last night. She’s dancing in the show”.(Arabella chuckles)“This tour does sound chaotic”.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Because it is.

Nicole:

Because it is. I mean, it isn't it's just because of us being there that it sounds chaotic.

Arabella:

Yes, yes. And he knows generally when it’s us two

Nicole:

The guys are very professional, yeah.

Arabella:

And plus, your dad knows when it's us two, it usually is slightly chaotic

Nicole:

completely Just to be I hope this is coming across for you guys but like, when it comes to the work part of the tour, like when the guys are rehearsing or there for soundchecks well, not for, they don't do their own soundchecks, but you know what I mean, when they have to be a place, they're there.

Arabella:

Oh yeah.

Nicole:

The kind of chaos is just happening around it, right like where

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

You're just seeing the kind of funky bits because the other bits are boring. You're just waiting around.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

Or doing a very good show.

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

“I mean, it’s just fate finally throwing us what we always needed”.“If Bella’s there,

Arabella:

Yessss

Nicole:

Yeah“If Bella’s there, I certainly feel more comforted”, my dad said.“I’m glad. I will call you every now and again to keep you updated but we’re pretty busy so I can’t always respond to messages”.“Would you please ask for a tour schedule so we can at least see where you are roughly?” my dad asked, “plus I’m sure your brothers would love to come see you even if we don’t”. He made a good point. I could tell my brothers the truth in way I couldn’t tell my parents. They would understand. I mean, my parents would too. You just know, like you don't want to give your parents all the details, it's too many details.(Nicole chuckles)

Arabella:

Yeah. Any sort of visuals(Arabella chuckles)

Nicole:

Yes, exactly no visuals. Sorry dads. Sorry to all dads.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

“I will ask”, I promised. “I love you, Dad. But I will need to go. There’s a few things to go through this morning”.“All right”, he said. “Love you too”. I hung up quickly, then leaned against the wall with a sigh.“So, I guess it went well?” Zander half-stated, half-asked, raising his eyebrows. “I didn’t understand a thing”.

Arabella:

“You wouldn’t. That’s her native language, Afrikaans. A language only spoken in South-Africa”.

Nicole:

You sound so you're like,(In a mocking superior tone) you wouldn't. I know things and you don't know things.

Arabella:

I’m Hermione Granger(Nicole laughs)

Nicole:

“It did go well”, I answered Zander. “However, I had to bend the truth slightly”.“In what way?” Mike asked apprehensively.“I wasn’t going to tell him I’m having sex with you, obviously”, I specified, “so I told him I’m singing a song with The Band on tour”.(Both laugh a little) The rest of the band laughed but Mike frowned. “Not the best lie”, he judged. “That’s something he would easily find out is untrue. Plus, surely, you’re old enough to tell him the truth or not say anything at all”.“I’m open with my parents”, I told him, “But he doesn’t need those details. No father wants the image of his daughter with heavy metal fornicators full of sperm...”(Arabella bursts out laughing a vaguely dirty laugh)

Arabella:

So true

Nicole:

They all burst out laughing, including Mike and Bella.

Arabella:

“Spot on”.(Arabella continues to laugh)

Nicole:

Bella managed to say through her laughter.“Well, there you go”, I told him. “Hope that clears it up for you”.“Your problem”, Mike sighed.“He does feel better knowing Bella is here”, I smiled in her direction. “So that’s a win”.

Arabella:

“Ughh bloody hell, the responsibility!”

Nicole:

We arrived in Bordeaux half an hour later, a little later than anticipated, around nine o’clock in the morning. After breakfast, everyone disappeared to have a rest before the show and Bella and I were left to our own devices but told explicitly by Mike that we were not to leave the hotel under any circumstances. Bella and I then made a very saliant point about the fact that there might be a fire, would he expect us to stay in the hotel and burn to a crisp? He rolled his eyes and did not grace us with a response.

Arabella:

We're not at all annoying

Nicole:

(Nicole laughs) Nope

Arabella:

Or pedantic

Nicole:

Imagine you just want to sleep, you have a show later and we are just,

Arabella:

We're just doing our thing. Yes.

Nicole:

I was, we're going to make up for it very shortly, don't you worry!

Arabella:

Oh yes, we will!

Nicole:

I was sitting with Bella in her room. Since Bella joined the tour, apparently an extra room was negotiated from the budget. For you but not for me.(Nicole laughs) I love that.

Arabella:

Well, the agency will have to get me a room anyway, so I imagine part of it's paid from my agents out of my travel fees.

Nicole:

That's probably true. There was an unwritten rule that I half-shared the room with Bella but that I still slept in Mike’s room. But my stuff stayed in Bella’s room, and I was only in Mike’s room when he was there.(Arabella huffs a laugh) So, it's not really my room(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

No, no, you basically sleep and that’s it only.

Nicole:

Yes, it's like a marriage in the 17th century.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

With the exception of that moment, Mike and the rest of the band were all in their rooms having a rest, and Bella and I were hanging out in ‘our’ room. You can't see this, but I did like you know.

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

The little things with my fingers, But I was starting to feel terribly bored.

Arabella:

Quotation marks.

Nicole:

“Are you bored?” I asked Bella.

Arabella:

“So bored”,

Nicole:

“We’re not normally bored together”, I frowned, “what’s going on?”

Arabella:

“I think it has something to do with being on tour with The Band but instead we’re sitting in a hotel room without The Band”,

Nicole:

“That checks out. Mike said stay in the hotel, not the room…so we can go see what’s happening downstairs, seek out some fun there?”

Arabella:

“Ooo I’m sure there has to be a spa”

Nicole:

That's so you Immediately like ooh spa. Yeah,(Nicole chuckles)

Arabella:

(Like a gremlin) Yes. Spa day!

Nicole:

“We can see how it works, maybe it won’t be too expensive”.

Arabella:

“I haven’t been paid for my last job yet, so funds are running a bit low currently”

Nicole:

“How are you getting paid for this one?”

Arabella:

“Weekly, but a bit like when you do theatre. Should be in a few days”.

Nicole:

“Let’s go!” I jumped up, itching to go find something to do. After making sure we had the keycard for the door, we exited the room. When we passed Mike’s door, I suddenly had a different much crazier but much more fun idea.“Do you want to sleep with Mike?” I asked Bella. At first, she looked staggered, then she burst out laughing.

Arabella:

“I think we both know the answer to that, but in case there’s any doubt, of course I do. Why do you ask?”

Nicole:

“I just had a great idea of what we could do!” Bella sucked her breath in through her teeth.

Arabella:

“You want to have a threesome with Mike?”

Nicole:

“Ahhh, you know me well”.

Arabella:

“Don’t you think it would be better if Mike suggested this?”

Nicole:

“Why are you so dang nervous? He’s going to agree!”

Arabella:

“He’ll agree to you. We have no idea if he’s even attracted to me!”

Nicole:

(Nicole snorts) I snorted so hard I imagined I could hear it reverberating off the walls.

Arabella:

Not dramatic at all(Arabella chuckles)

Nicole:

Nope“Look at me!” I twirled in a circle. “If he’s attracted to me, he’d definitely be attracted to you”.

Arabella:

“I’m not even going to validate that self-deprecation with an answer”.

Nicole:

“But you get what I’m saying? Besides the fact that you have a dancer’s body, and blue eyes, the rest of us is quite similar, no? Both blonde, busty, hippy…like why wouldn’t he be attracted to both of us?”

Arabella:

“I’ll relent enough for you to ask him”.

Nicole:

(Nicole laughs)“Yes!” I celebrated. “You always give into my schemes!”

Arabella:

“To be fair, I agree mostly before I even know what’s going on”.

Nicole:

Yeah, I should have just gone – ‘Hey, do you want to do a fun thing?’ and then you would have said yes before I explained.(Nicole laughs followed by Arabella)

Arabella:

Exactly That’s how it usually goes

Nicole:

Exactly“And that trust means so much to me”(Nicole giggles)

Arabella:

“How will we get in? It’s locked. We’ll have to knock and…”

Nicole:

“My room too”, I winked, “I have a key card” I love that I have a key card.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

It's a terrible idea. Whose idea was that? He should know better.

Arabella:

He should know better.

Nicole:

I stuck it in the door and walked in confidently. Bella followed. I think after this he's definitely going to not give me a keycard again(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Never again, or maybe…although

Nicole:

We'll see. Anyway, go on Bells

Arabella:

“No, shit”

Nicole:

Bella whispered furiously as we very quickly came upon Mike asleep on the bed, wearing only his boxers.

Arabella:

“Nicky, he’s asleep”

“So?” I whispered back. “We’ll wake him up gently, and-“Arabella:

“No. No. We’re leaving…he’ll have our arses for this”.

Nicole:

“Isn’t that what we want?” I teased her.

Arabella:

“You know what I mean”.

Nicole:

“If we just silently get on the bed, and start giving him head-”(Nicole starts to laugh) It sounds like a bad poem(Both now fully laughing)(In a sing song kind of way) If we get on the bed, start giving him head.(Continued laughter) Of course we're all doing all this with him, just like right next to us asleep.

Arabella:

Right there.“My God, Nicky—he may let you do that, but I need his consent”.

Nicole:

“Well, I can start and then-”“What the fuck are you two doing here?” Oh shit, he was so northern(Both burst out laughing) What the fuck.

Arabella:

What the fuck.

Nicole:

What the fuck? Now we're suddenly Bring Me the Horizon. Sorry, oh gosh. That's the first time we've said an actual band name.

Arabella:

Oh, it is.

Nicole:

Whoops.

Arabella:

We’re allowed

Nicole:

Are we allowed?

Arabella:

I think we're allowed to mention people like that

Nicole:

By the way guys, we've now figured out this is not Bring Me the Horizon, right? Otherwise, we wouldn't have said their name.

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

Anyway.

Arabella:

Definitely not.

Nicole:

It’s fine

Arabella:

Well, what happened to confirm, neither confirm nor deny?

Nicole:

Oh shit. Well, I confirm. At least there's one band it cannot be. And that's Bring Me the Horizon.

Arabella:

Bring Me the Horizon

Nicole:

Well, it was never going to be them. They're not American. So, what are we doing? Okay.

Arabella:

Alright

Nicole:

“What the fuck are you two doing here?” Bella and I both yelled in shock(Both pretend to yell with shock) Bella and I both yelled in shock and looked at Mike who had sat up on the bed and was watching us expectantly. “Clearly up to no good”, he added after our over-reaction.

Arabella:

“It was Nicky’s idea!”(Nicole laughs)

Nicole:

Bella yelped almost immediately under his gaze.“Oh, way to go, throwing me under the bus first chance you get”, I scolded her. Then to Mike. “Heart of a lion she has”.

Arabella:

“I did tell you waking Mike would be a bad idea”

Nicole:

Bella defended.“I said we should-”“That’s enough out of both of you”, Mike interjected. “Bella, I have no doubt that whatever is going on is surely Nicole’s doing so…”“That’s just ‘cause you don’t know her very well yet”,(Arabella quietly giggles in the background) I told Mike, “She just hides behind poise and charm, and regardless of how intelligent I am, I always appear to be talking out of my arse”.(Both laugh and a wee snort even makes an appearance from Arabella) He had to chuckle. And so did Bella apparently“Bella, please explain what is happening here”.

Arabella:

“Nicky wants to have a threesome”,

Nicole:

“Oh, Nicky does? You don’t?”

Arabella:

“Of course I do, but that’s not the point here!”

Nicole:

“You two want to have a threesome with me?” Mike asked, more surprised than I imagined.“Do you see anyone else here?” I teased, showing around the room and chuckling.(Both laugh) Giving him a bit of his own medicine“Oh, haha”, he said.“Point for me?”“Hell no, you two snuck up on me...while I was sleeping, like little creeps”.

Arabella:

“Of course, we want to have a threesome with you, Mike, you’re gorgeous”.

Nicole:

Then she blushed.“You see?” I said to Mike. “She has her silly moments too”.“You guys wanted to wake me up to have a threesome?” Mike double-checked.

Arabella:

“Nicky wanted to wake you up with a double blowjob...”

Nicole:

“Hey!” I complained, “stop trying to get me into trouble”.

Arabella:

“-but I told her it would be very unconsensual for me to join in on such a thing-”

Nicole:

Such a thing(Nicole wheezes a laugh) Like it’s so scandalous Mike smiled knowingly, having overcome his surprise rather quickly. “So that’s what the furious whispering argument was about”. We both looked appropriately embarrassed of ourselves.

Arabella:

“Sorry, Mike, we’ll get out of your hair. Come on, Nicky”.

Nicole:

“Wait, I didn’t Oh sorry, that was, That's not me, that's Mike. Mike wouldn't do that.(Mockingly) Wait

Arabella:

(Super high pitched) Wait

Nicole:

I don't know. I feel like most guys, if they heard a double blow job was on offer, they might be like, (Exaggerated) ‘Wait! ‘

Arabella:

Yeah(Both laugh)

Nicole:

“Wait, I didn’t say I wasn’t interested”, Mike stopped her.“Yeah, like any guy would turn down a double blowjob”,(Nicole snickers)“So far it sounds like Nicole wants to do it, and you’re not sure?”

Arabella:

“No. I want to, I’m sure!”

Nicole:

(Nicole lets out a high-pitched laugh) I laughed at her, and she punched my shoulder.“See?” I said to Mike. “We’re not so different. She’s just British”.(Both laugh) Both of them laughed.“What time is it?” Mike asked himself, grabbing his mobile. It was two o’clock.“There’s time”, he told himself. “But Bella you should know the way I have sex most of the time is-”

Arabella:

“Don’t worry, Mike. I’m deeply familiar with kink”.

Nicole:

“She’s a brat herself “, I told him.“Since we haven’t gone through the ins and outs, are you happy to use the traffic light system for safe wording?”

Arabella:

“No problem. Plus, Nicky has given me very descriptive details of everything you’ve done with her”.

Nicole:

“Oh, has she?” Mike’s gaze hardened on me.“Well, best friend, and on tour”, I said quickly, “that’s allowed, right?” He chuckled. “Yes”.“Now stop trying to get me in trouble”, I complained to Bella.

Both:

“Like you don’t want to be in trouble”,

Nicole:

They both said at the same time and all of us laughed again.“Show me what you were going to do to wake me up”, Mike told us, “And stop standing around”.

Arabella:

And that's where we're ending it peoples!

Both:

Aggghhhhhhh

Nicole:

I, I'm a bit annoyed that we're ending it here, because now I wa, I've forgotten, I've forgotten what actually happens after this. Yes, and before we finish off today's episode, we would very much like to give a shout out to some of our adoring fans who've been like, sending us messages and been following us from the beginning, and we just like to do a little shout out and say thanks very much for that. So,

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

Umm a big shout out to Hannah Price

Arabella:

Yes, Hannah, we love you, thank you.

Nicole:

A little shout out to Morse

Arabella:

Yeahhh Morse woo! A little shout out to Jo Ciochon. I might not have said that right.

Nicole:

And a little shout out to Sylvia

Arabella:

Yes, Sylvia, we love you, you little unicorn you.

Nicole:

And there are a few people who would like to remain anonymous, for obvious reasons.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Yes, but we thank you too. And we love you.

Nicole:

We thank you so much. You know who you are. You know who you are

Arabella:

Well, after this is Episode Nine - Thirsty, Thirsty Brats(Nicole laughs)

Nicole:

Thirsty

Arabella:

And if that's any clue, as to what's going to come.(Arabella laughs)

Nicole:

Well, I guess it involves the two of us being thirsty.

Arabella:

Very thirsty(Both laugh a lot)

Nicole:

Oh gosh.

Arabella:

So yes, after this being part three of one evening, we have now moved on to part way, one of the next day. Part two of that day comes next week.

Nicole:

Yes, we all have the, the deep, the deep recaps are there for a very good reason, because we go through a lot of stuff and this is only a four-week tour, right? Well, I mean it is long, but in that time, we go through so many things and, like, sometimes, an episode is a literal two hours of a time, you know.

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

This is going to be long.(Nicole chuckles)

Arabella:

Part of the reason that we cut it off at certain points is that sometimes we're like, oh, maybe we should do that whole bit for a new episode, but then suddenly the other episode is only going to be like 10-15 minutes and we're like that's a bit short-changing you guys.

Nicole:

Yeah

Arabella:

So yeah, we like to leave you on a little cliffhanger

Nicole:

Not that I think you wouldn't come back at this point. I mean, if you've made it to episode eight, I'm not even sure you need cliffhangers anymore.

Arabella:

Well, I think everyone needs a cliffhanger, what, every now and again in their life, just to be like whhaaaaat?

Nicole:

Yeah, I suppose it's not quite the cliffhanger we thought, we should have stopped before Mike actually agreed to the threesome, because now everyone just knows

Arabella:

That would have been smart.

Nicole:

Something's gonna happen.(Both laugh)

Arabella:

We are dumb, dumb is what we are. No, we are not. No, we are not dumb. We just don't want to take away all the juice. Yes

Nicole:

The juice has to be worth the squeeze.

Arabella:

Awwwww yeahhh!(Theme music plays out with lyrics)“…. Hanging on to everything you said. And everything you did was so wonderful! So unbelievable! What is this world without you? We’re hanging on to what you were, even if it hurts!...”

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