Unruly Confessions

Hell Fucking No, It’s Not Foreplay!

Arabella Gourlay & Nicole van Niekerk Season 1 Episode 7

What happens in the aftermath of Nicole being left to her own devices? Imagine just how furious Mike is is going to be as he's been looking for Nicole for an hour. This episode features more of Nicole’s usual mischief as it's all about the thrill of impending disaster and keeping you on your toes. However, as of last week, we’ve also met... 

...Arabella, a dancer, a friend (a best friend), and a catalyst for drama. We're throwing you into the high-octane world of backstage intensity; from learning a bit about the brat tamers in the BDSM community to nostalgia-laden memories of Nicole and Bella’s first meeting at acting school in England. It's a whirlwind of camaraderie, humour, and drama that promises to keep you captivated. 

Bella and Nicole reveal their hierarchy of the band members...to the audience, not to 'The Band'. The secret rankings of bandmates might be amusing, but they reveal so much about the way Bella and Nicole’s twisted minds work. This isn't just about music, tours, and sex (though that’s fun)—it's about the friendships and personal dynamics that make our fictional journey an unforgettable ride. Join us as we invite you into this world filled with laughter, tension, and the ever-enticing drama of band life.

Transcription en français : https://unrulyconfessionspodcast.wordpress.com/2024/11/08/episode-7-hell-fucking-no-its-not-foreplay-putain-non-ce-ne-sont-pas-des-preliminaires/

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La transcription en français (The French Transcipt) : Dans la description de l'épisode.

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Theme Music: Rat Head - Big Mouse Tree House
Written and performed by: Nicole van Niekerk (Singer), Steve van Niekerk (Lead Guitar & Backing Vocals), Rachel Espeute (Bass & Backing Vocals) & Bertie Atkinson (Drums)

https://music.apple.com/us/album/rat-head/1347222686?i=1347223114

Also available on Spotify and Bandcamp.





Unruly Confessions Ep 7 - Hell Fucking No, It’s Not Foreplay!

Arabella:

The following podcast contains adult themes, graphic sexual content, strong language, alcohol and drug references, and some infrequent violence. Everything you need for a wild ride.

Nicole:

Also, please do remember that this is a work of fiction. Let us not get upset about this. (Nicole laughs)(Podcast theme music plays – Rat Head by Big Mouse Tree House)

Arabella:

Welcome back to Unruly Confessions. Hi guys!

Nicole:

Hello

Arabella:

It's nice to see you back.

Nicole:

Yeah, it's nice to have you guys here. We're no longer going to introduce ourselves, because you should know our names super well by now. In the story, our names are mentioned multiple times in different ways.

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

Sometimes our names are you little bitch.

Arabella:

Yes,(Nicole laughs) fuck you, you little bitch

Nicole:

Or other things

Arabella:

Dirty, dirty slut.

Nicole:

Wow, I was not gonna. Okay, there it is.(Nicole laughs as Arabella dramatically laughs)

Arabella:

We're going all out. All out

Nicole:

Luckily the disclaimers have already played, am I right?(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

I mean, that is why we put them first. So, you know

Nicole:

Yes, very wise

Arabella:

After that we’re covered

Nicole:

Someone is now a character in the story.

Arabella:

Yeah, I am!

Nicole:

As of last week.

Arabella:

I'm in it, baby.

Nicole:

As of last week, we are both in the story and both outside of the story.

Arabella:

Yes, it is going to get slightly confusing me thinks at times.

Nicole:

Yes, but we're going to make our best to make it less confusing by first of all explaining this. So last week's episode, this week's episode and next week's episode are all taking place in the same nine hours of the tour.

Arabella:

It’s the same day

Nicole:

Yeah.

Arabella:

The same gig.

Nicole:

Same gig, same before gig, gig and aftermath of a gig. All the same, are all three episodes,

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

Because this is going gonna be a loooong tour and a loooong podcast and it's so much fun.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Aaaand It is soooo much fun

Nicole:

It is

Arabella:

And there’s soooo much of our crazy bullshit.

Nicole:

So, what we need you to. So, basically, today, as always, I hope you always play, pay beautiful attention to Bella’s amazing recaps,(Arabella scoffs) but today is very important because all these episodes are gonna have a lot of things um in common and together that you're gonna have to remember. Otherwise, you're gonna have no idea why Mike's pissed at me. He's gonna be like what did she do?(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

And then again that's basically every time.

Nicole:

Yep That is our relationship. But even in real life, that's our relationship. Like I, am most of the time(Arabella wheezes a laugh) either hating on him or loving on him, but it's, it’s an up and down,

Arabella:

You are

Nicole:

It's an up and down mess.

Arabella:

It is true. Mostly love, though. More love than

Nicole:

It's mostly love from my side,(Nicole wheezes a laugh)

Arabella:

All from your side.

Nicole:

In the, in the story it’s definitely love from his side too, it’s just um, he shows it differently. Anyway,

Arabella:

It's a special kind of love.

Nicole:

Let Bella recap before we go on a tangent.

Arabella:

Which we so often do. Okay, here we go, again. I shall attempt this. All right. So, they arrive in Paris for the gig. The cute stage manager, Sophie, flirts with Nicole, which somehow all the guys miss, but I suppose that was because it was in French after all. So, yeah, okay, that's fair. Once in the green room, Mike reminds Nicky that she's not allowed to sleep with the crew or anyone really apart from him at the moment.

Nicole:

Which is super unfair

Arabella:

And not to tell anybody what she is doing here. Not to tell anybody! Very important fact that. So, going from there, Nicky decides to go on a little wander around the arena she did actually get permission for that, so that's okay. And then she gets a massive shock because she sees me. Hello, I'm in it, I am here, and I am equally as shocked and bloody excited to see her. We have a mini freak out of excitement about being with The Band, and then I have to nip off and go find out what time and where I need to be. You know, because I'm there working. So, I tell her to wait by the side of the stage and then we can have a proper catch-up and find out what's going on, because she can monologue and and I knew it was going to be a long story, so we need time. Um, not a second later does she run into a man called Timothy Fucking Carter, as we refer to him often. Timothy Fucking Carter, um, who basically pretends to be part of the arena crew and gets Nicole to do all but disclose the goods about The Band over a drink at the bar. Not where she said she would be. Cue me coming in and saying what the hell? And then telling Nicky who he really is. She has a freak out about what she's just told him, which is fair, because that's, that's like a big no-no, big no, that's serious trouble. So, we move on from that and we have a quick catch-up about how the hell Nicky got here, and then we make a plan. We always have many plans. We like a plan, and a plan is made to get me to come on to the bus with them, which leads us up to today's episode where we'll be carrying on with Hell Fucking No, It's Not Foreplay!

Nicole:

Which is an awesome name. I'm very proud of that name and, as per usual, we're expecting you guys to find it in the story. It will be easy don't you worry. Anyway, yeah, um, on that note, as per always we want to, we have a little chat about last week's episode and I must say, um, I don't have a lot of excuses for my behaviour and giving everything away to Timothy Carter, except that maybe I trust people too easily.

Arabella:

You do my love, you do.

Nicole:

I do. I believe the best of everyone, sadly um

Arabella:

Yes, and even stupid little tics like Timothy Fucking Carter

Nicole:

Absolutely you'll hear more from him. He's fun

Arabella:

Such fun, such fun. Not.

Nicole:

But yes, this is, this is. This is a big, big boo-boo, because this is not the kind where Mike's gonna give me some spankies. This is the one where he's gonna give me some booted off the bus.

Arabella:

Yeah, this is booted off the bus bad. This is like oh shit. So, so, hold on to that and remember that. That's that, that, that that's in the air somewhere, who knows when it's going to come dropping down on her.

Nicole:

So aaaggghhhh I'm very scared. Are you scared for me? Please be scared for me, because I didn't mean it. I'm just a moose.(Both laughing through this exchange)

Arabella:

No, you never do, but yet you always get yourself into scrapes.

Nicole:

Too much energy. Too much energy and too little thinking.

Arabella:

She has a mouth guard that we, we used to talk about it at Uni and it's like a little Irish drunken leprechaun

Nicole:

Pirate! What d’ya mean leprechaun, he's a pirate.(Both laughing)

Arabella:

Pirate, not leprechaun, pirate! Who is so bad at his job at stopping whatever she thinks from coming out of her mouth. It's just like oh, Terrance, come on!

Nicole:

Terrance, you're drunk again. Please do your job well. Yeah,

Arabella:

God damn it, Terrance. So,

Nicole:

But let's be clear though,

Arabella:

Terrance, do your thing

Nicole:

Can we just be fair. I did give maybe a lot away to this guy, but I didn't say what I was doing on tour. I lied. I didn't say

Arabella:

You did, you lied.

Nicole:

So technically I didn't break any rules.

Arabella:

It might not have been a great lie, but you did, you were very good at not saying I'm here for the fucky fucky.

Nicole:

Exactly. So, if he guessed it, it's not my fault.

Arabella:

No, generally I'm always a little bit worried for her because she gets herself into soooo many, so many things.

Nicole:

Are you talking about the story or real life right now?(Arabella lets out a little snort)

Arabella:

Bit of both maybe?

Nicole:

Accurate.

Arabella:

To be…you know…either or really, it works.

Nicole:

When Bella hasn't heard from me for like a day, she's like uh, you are not up to no good, right, you are good, you are at home, everything's good?(Nicole wheeze laughs)

Arabella:

You're alive. You've not created a sort of a mass craziness-ness somewhere, you know. Fuck some real shit up.

Nicole:

It’s possible.

Arabella:

No, no?

Nicole:

Yeah, but it's always with good intentions. That's the mental thing.

Arabella:

It is. Like I don't know. I do know how you get into half the scrapes you get into but honestly, it's wild some of the things she gets herself into. And I'm frequently the one jumping in with her.

Nicole:

One day we'll make a. One day we could do an extension of this podcast where we actually just tell stories that are not fictional about our lives.(Both highly amused)

Arabella:

Real stories, absolutely unfiltered.

Nicole:

Yeah, but to be fair a lot of this story that is fictional is some of it, not The Band stuff, but some of the

Arabella:

The stories

Nicole:

Happenings are inspired by our lives.

Arabella:

Yes, like the stories of, that we tell about us.

Nicole:

Yes.

Arabella:

Some of it is real.

Nicole:

Yeah, exactly. So anyway, let's not. Ooh, that's a long intro. Um,

Arabella:

So much chatting

Nicole:

Let us get on it.

Arabella:

Hell Fucking, No, It's Not Foreplay!(Both laugh)

Nicole:

Very good, I liked it. Okay, here we go.(Podcast theme music plays – Rat Head by Big Mouse Tree House) We jogged to the stage. As we entered the big open area which had less people running around at that point, I spotted Mike Solomon coming down the hallway with Mark Miller. As I froze, he saw us and leaving Mark, came towards us.“Where the fuck have you been?” he hissed when he stopped in front of me. He was huffing. “I’ve been running around with a hard-on for the last hour!”(Arabella scoffs a laugh) The last bit he said. I mean that has to be exaggerated, right?

Arabella:

I, I, It's got to be, but it's still. That just, Oh, that's hilarious.

Nicole:

I know, but I can't imagine a 40-year-old man being able to sustain a hard-on he doesn't need for an hour.

Arabella:

For an hour,

Nicole:

No way

Arabella:

No,

Nicole:

Unless there's drugs involved and that makes no sense,

Arabella:

I mean I mean, guys, please do tell us if we're wrong.

Nicole:

Yeah

Arabella:

We would love to know

Nicole:

Yeah, if you are 40 or older and not a family member of mine, for the love of God please! Um comment and let us know.

Arabella:

We love you, but we don't want to know.(Nicole cackles a little)

Nicole:

Let us know if that's a possibility. Without…

Arabella:

Yes please.

Nicole:

…enhancement you can't. No pills allowed. Like it has to be natural

Arabella:

Viagra, no, no, natural time only.

Nicole:

Wouldn't it be super awkward if Mike himself responds Like, yes, it’s possible, bitches, no, I'm kidding.

Arabella:

Okay, then let's go.

Nicole:

“Where the fuck have you been?” he hissed when he stopped in front of me. He was huffing. “I’ve been running around with a hard-on for the last hour!” The last bit he said softly enough so that only Bella and I could hear him, but the words dripped with venom. I felt Bella’s eyes on me and when I looked at her, she was gaping. Though I wasn’t sure if it was at Mike’s words or the fact that the vocalist of her favourite band was standing in front of her. I was still holding Bella’s hand. Mike’s eyes noticed our hands and he turned his golden eyes accusingly on Bella. “Who are you?”

Arabella:

“Arabella Gourlay”,

Nicole:

she said, proudly holding out her hand to Mike.“She’s my best friend”, I told him, yearning for him to make a good impression.(Nicole cracking up as she said that line)

Arabella:

Him, not me

Nicole:

Him.

Arabella:

Wait, he has to make the good impression.

Nicole:

You can make a good impression, or you can go home.(Both cracking up) Sorry“How the fuck-?” he started to ask, then changed course, “did you smuggle her in here?”

Arabella:

“No, I’m one of your dancers-“

Nicole:

Bella told him, sounding surprisingly confident for how she was squeezing the hell out of my hand. Mike visibly relaxed. “Ah, obviously”, he said, glancing from her head to her toes. Bella squeezed my hand ever harder.

OooooooNicole:

“But how-you’re the Bella from the stories?” he asked, puzzled. Bella and I both nodded. She knew she was the only Bella in my life who came with stories.“How did you end up dancing for us?” Mike asked Bella, confused. Before she could answer, he looked at me. “And why didn’t you tell me about it?”“I didn’t know-““Look, Bella I’m sorry but we don’t have time for this now”, Mike told her. “If you want, come see us in the green room after the show. I’ll make sure the security are aware”. He looked at me. “And you-don’t bring any more friends”.“Got it”. Mike started walking away, then turned, raising his eyebrows at me. “What are you waiting for?” he asked, annoyed.“Just five more minutes, please”, I pleaded. He sighed. “Make it two”. Mike was kind enough to walk a few metres away so he couldn’t hear us. Oh, bless him,

Arabella:

I know.

Nicole:

You know what I mean. It's up and down. It's very confusing“Ow, Bella”, I said, finally as she let go of my hand.

Arabella:

“Sorry, This is crazy-holy shit”.

Nicole:

“I know, I’m so glad he invited you to the green room. That’s when we’ll ask about the tour, okay?”

Arabella:

“Perhaps you can try to soften him up a little bit before?”

Nicole:

“I can try but you can see how soft he is with me, I’m not in the best position to ask favours but I’ll beg him for this, promise”.

Arabella:

“I so hope he agrees”

Nicole:

“You can work your magic as well, you know”, I winked. “On and off stage-““I don’t love waiting-“ Mike called.

Arabella:

“I better go warm-up”

Nicole:

“I better go beg forgiveness”.

Arabella:

“See you soon”,

Nicole:

She hurried off to the side of the stage and I hurried towards Mike. He took me by the wrist and started walking Wow, already, just like that.(Arabella lets out an excited giggle) He took me by the wrist and started walking quickly with me beside him. He was hiding the fact that he was holding my wrist by pressing it against his right thigh so it would just look like we were walking close side by side.(Arabella scoffs) Hmmm

Arabella:

(Both laugh a little) Not suspicious at all.

Nicole:

No, I guess not. Mike’s steps were so long that I had to jog a bit to keep up with his stride. He pushed me into the greenroom, and I saw the rest of the band fleetingly before he forced me into the adjacent dressing room. Like uuuhh hellooo, bye, bye.

Arabella:

Woooooooop

Nicole:

And they're all probably freaking canning themselves because they're like, oh, what has she been up to now?

Arabella:

Like what is this shit? What has she done?

Nicole:

He closed the door behind him and turned on me. I swallowed. “I wasn’t aware that I wasn’t allowed to have a drink with my best friend”.“Not when you’re supposed to be here”, he countered. “You wait on me, it’s not the other way around!”“Oh, shit”, I realised, “you’re actually angry. This isn’t just foreplay”.“Hell fucking no, it’s not foreplay”, he said, irate.“Well, it’s quite hard to tell the difference with you”, I frowned.“Okay, I agree with you on that”,(Arabella laughs) he said quickly “, but the deal was you’re here when I want you. We’re still on tour, we still have work to do. I don’t have time to wait for you…ever, do you understand?“Yes, Sir”.“Good”.“Well, I’m here now”. I stepped forward and put my arms around his waist, staring up at him. He unhooked my arms from him. “Get off”.

Arabella:

Ohhh

Nicole:

“I’m confused”, I said, “I thought-““We don’t have time now”, he said, angrily, “thank you very fucking much”.“I can do it fast”, I said, smiling(Both crack up) I was like a mix between American and, and English, but it's fair, because you know I'm around them. It's fine,

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

“I can do it fast”, I said, smiling hopefully and reaching my hand slowly towards his belt.“No”, he said, pushing my hand away. “I’ve got a show to do”.“Look, I honestly didn’t mean to piss you off”, I told him. “I really like it here. I was just so excited to see Bella”. Mike turned around and left without another word to me.

Arabella:

Ooooooooooo

Nicole:

But he's also being harsh

Arabella:

Oh shit

Nicole:

He's being super harsh, maybe not, I don't know.

Arabella:

I don't know either. I mean that, it's understandable, but at the same time it's understandable from his side too

Nicole:

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, no, it is, it is, it is it? He told me not.

Arabella:

Both sides have points.

Nicole:

He told me not to make him wait and I made him wait, so fair,

Arabella:

You did and, and he had a hard-on, and he's frustrated and now he has to go because there's no time

Nicole:

Yeah

Arabella:

I mean, you know, when you want it, you want it

Nicole:

Yeah, no, I do know that, that I can, that I can totally feel um feel sympathy with

Arabella:

It’s just phooooo

Nicole:

Yeah, yeah okay, mostly I'm either absolutely pissed at Mike, or I actually love and hang on every word he says. It's never in between.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

No, no, you just you flip from one to the other.

Nicole:

Yeah, but you could ask Bella,

Arabella:

Mostly the love

Nicole:

Yeah.

Arabella:

Mostly the love.

Nicole:

Mostly the love, obviously, but you could ask Bella the amount of times I call her and I'm like I fucking hate this man. Oh my God.(She wheezes a laugh)

Arabella:

Like, what the fuck are they doing now? And I'm like, oh God, here we go.

Nicole:

Anyway. So, we use this because it works very well, because when you, when you, when your feelings for someone is this intense, it, it just ends up in sex. Let's all be honest. Um,

Arabella:

Yes,

Nicole:

Right

Arabella:

And why wouldn't you want it to? Sex is great!

Nicole:

Exactly

Arabella:

We like it.

Nicole:

I was really excited when the band went on. It would be the first gig in my life I could watch from the wings and on top of that, it was free.

Arabella:

Happy

Nicole:

I know Well, I was at least not paying money to see it and what I was paying with didn’t bother me at all.(Nicole cringes and Arabella laughs heartily) That's such a weird thing to say, like, why did I write that?

Arabella:

It is. You've got like a whole pretty woman thing going on.

Nicole:

Oh yeah, well, that's not cool,(Arabella cackles in the background) It's all tongue-in-cheek guys, it's all tongue-in-cheek, we're just joking, we're just joking, okay.

Arabella:

Yeah, yeah.

Nicole:

What also really made me smile was that I didn’t need to win a competition or anything to get backstage and see the band. And even better, Bella was there to enjoy it with me.

Arabella:

Yeah buddy!

Nicole:

Unfortunately, she was waiting stage right to go on so I could only see her making faces at me from the other side.

Arabella:

That is. That's what I would be doing to be fair,

Nicole:

No one would ever be able to tell that we're in our 30s.(Both laugh)

Arabella:

No,

Nicole:

Sophie,

Arabella:

I would absolutely just be trying to get her to piss herself laughing.

Nicole:

Oh, oh, yeah, for sure. Sophie, the stage manager was standing next to me, watching with me. I felt so stupid for being fooled by that Timothy guy. I really hoped it wouldn’t come back to bite me in the arse, but I really didn’t have the guts to tell the guys about it. I would be kicked off the tour for sure. The guys were amazing as they always were. Energetic and loud and absolutely perfect. I loved every second of the show and if I wasn’t imagining it, I was sure Mike seemed more aggressive on stage. Hopefully not because of me.

Arabella:

Totally because of you

Nicole:

I mean, if I have that much power, that's pretty cool,

Arabella:

But also

Nicole:

but he's probably just frustrated. I mean, we all get that. If you want it, you want it. It…uughhhh.

Arabella:

Yes, yes and

Nicole:

The music had created a lot of

Arabella:

You cock-blocked him by your wanderings.

Nicole:

(Nicole laughs) My won..I went AWOL.

Arabella:

AWOL and cock-block.

Nicole:

I Just didn’t, I didn't cock-block anything. He could, he could have found someone else.

Arabella:

It's literally the reason you were there, though.

Nicole:

Yeah, okay, fine, I'm just trying to excuse myself.

Arabella:

Yeah, exactly.

Nicole:

The music had created a lot of adrenalin in my body, and I was ready to do whatever any of them wanted Dang Nicole,

Arabella:

Daaaammmnnn(Both laugh)

Nicole:

...even if it was carrying about beers. Okay well, that went soft really fast,(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Yes, and I also wouldn't necessarily in in in that mood that you're in. Let you do that, because bottles would be flying everywhere,(Nicole is laughing throughout this)

Nicole:

That is true.

Arabella:

That energy, that energy, when she gets that energy, it is pure chaos.

Nicole:

That is true.

Arabella:

And she vibrates,

Nicole:

that is…I do(still laughing)

Arabella:

She literally vibrates.

Nicole:

Okay, okay, okay.

Arabella:

Pocket rocket that she is.

Nicole:

I was floating with the ecstasy of it all. Sophie led the band back to the greenroom with words of congratulations. They had already gotten themselves beers. Wise

Arabella:

Safe, very wise.

Nicole:

I stood near the door excitedly. “You guys were awesome as always”.“Beer for you, Nicole?” Noah offered.“No, thanks”, I smiled, sinking onto one of the smaller couches with Zander. “I don’t drink blonde beer”.“Whiskey?” he offered instead.“Sure-“ I said, “thank you, Noah”. That was the most American sure I think I've ever said. Sure.

Arabella:

Sure, sure. (Attempting an American accent)

Nicole:

Sophie was still hovering in the doorway so I assumed I shouldn’t be calling them by their titles.“Hey, did you guys see that dancer next to me tonight?” Zander asked the rest of the bad. “Blonde one, tallish, great ass-““No, man”, Carter said, “I wasn’t paying attention to anything going on that side of the stage-““Jay?” Zander asked, “did you see her?”“I see nothing but lights searing into my brain, bro-“ Jason said.“Why are you looking at girls’ asses when you should be focusing on your guitar?” Noah teased.“Unlike you, I can do both at the same time-“ Zander countered jokingly.(Both laugh) They're always making fun of Noah because he's a bassist. Why are we so mean to bassists?

Arabella:

Every time, every time.

Nicole:

Okay but look, look bassists. Oh, bassists can be very.

Arabella:

But also, he's, he's the baby of the band.

Nicole:

That's true. He is the baby. Anyway.

Arabella:

He's also the butt of all jokes

Nicole:

True. Now, speaking of the not baby of the band. Out of nowhere, Jason came flying onto the sofa, all arms and legs between Zander and I, but mostly on top of us.“Jay”, I complained, “there’s no room!”“Sure there is”, he laughed.

“You’re heavy, dude”, I continued even though I was laughing too, “come on”. I tried pushing him off to no avail. “Jay, you’re sweating all over me-“Arabella:

You love it

Nicole:

Oh yeah, I do.

“You think that’s bad?” He grinned. “You should see the state of my ball sack-“AaahhhArabella:

She wishes(Nicole cracks up followed by Arabella)

Nicole:

“No, I don’t think I want to know you that well-“ I lied. Hmmm

Arabella:

So hard.

Nicole:

There are(Nicole laughs again) Sorry

Arabella:

So hard, you absolutely lied so hard.

Nicole:

“There are fans waiting to meet you outside”, Sophie told the room before it got too out of hand. Oh shit she’s still there!(Both burst out laughing) just watching this like, oh my lord, okay,

Arabella:

Okay

Nicole:

These Americans, holy shit. Um, At the sound of that, Jason finally got off us.“Ah, thank you, Sophie!” I said dramatically.

“You know you love me”, Jason teased and hopped off as Mike said:

“Sure, we’ll just grab some towels and be right out”. Sophie nodded and left the room.“So do I just wait for you guys here then?” Mike shrugged. “Why don’t you go get your friend-““Best friend!” I inserted. Like(Nicole is cracking up again)

Arabella:

Important distinction. we are five,

Nicole:

Like a Five-year-old.

Arabella:

I'm five and a half and she's my best friend.(Still cracking up)

Nicole:

He gave me a look because of what we just discussed there between all of us

and continued:

“Meet us back here in like twenty minutes?”“Really?” I asked happily. “That would be awesome”. Like I've not been on tour this whole time, like that would be great it would be great to see you again.

Arabella:

I can come back? I can bring my friend, my best friend.

Nicole:

I can bring my best friend. Oh gosh,

The guys started to leave the room when Mike said:

“But don’t go anywhere else…twenty minutes-I’m serious, we’re not waiting for your shit”.“Got it, twenty minutes”.

Arabella:

Very important to keep you in line.

Nicole:

Yeah, because, because you know, you guys, uh, if you, I don't know, we try to teach you a little bit about kink, but we're not, we're experts in our domain of kink, but not like in kink. It's huge, it's huge,

Arabella:

Yeah,

Nicole:

But like so,

Arabella:

We're not, we're not qualified.

Nicole:

Yeah, yeah,

Arabella:

That's what we're. We're experienced.

Nicole:

Yeah, so Mike is what we call a brat tamer, so it's a type of Dom. It is a Dom, but it's a type of Dom that mostly likes brats, because brats are hard work. There's like 10% of the kink scene that actually likes brats, right, because we are hard work and I'm the kind of brat heavy, heavy brat that like, um, if you show any sort of weakness, I will run circles around you because I need someone…

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

…to really take the control away…

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

…from me. And so, Mike knows this. So that's why he's like yeah, making sure there are guidelines everywhere, which I will break.

Arabella:

Very concise rules

Nicole:

Which I will break, but he will make sure that I know who's boss most of the time.

Arabella:

Yes, and the punishment tends to be fitting.

Nicole:

Yes, exactly Right. Moving on,

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

I looked for Bella for five minutes before I spotted her walking ahead of me.“Bella!” She turned around and flashed a big smile.

Arabella:

“Did you see how freaking fabulous it was?”

Nicole:

She had already changed out of her costume and was wearing a black dress and boots.“I did, and you were amazing too. I’m super jealous of your moves”.

Arabella:

“Don’t be silly”.

Nicole:

She hugged me.

Arabella:

“It’s so good to see you. I hate that you live so far away from me-“

Nicole:

“What are you doing now?” I asked enthusiastically, “do you have somewhere you have to be?”

Arabella:

“No, I was looking for you”.

Nicole:

“I was looking for you”. We laughed.

Both:

“Of course”.

Arabella:

“Aren’t you supposed to be with Mike?”

Nicole:

“They’re off signing autographs or something with fans-“ I answered. “He said we could wait in the greenroom”.

Arabella:

“Ah cool”,

Nicole:

She said, linking her arm with mine as we started to walk back to it.

Arabella:

“Did you manage to talk to Mike then?”

Nicole:

“Not yet”, I said apologetically. “It all happened rather fast. They pretty much got beers and left but not before Jay tried to squish me to death”.

Arabella:

“Sounds like something you should enjoy”.

“I did for the most part, but he was flailing—it looked rather dangerous-“ Arabella:

“Are they as cool in real life as they seem?”

Nicole:

“Yeah! I mean you’ll see for yourself. Except for Carter—he’s not really warmed up to me”.

Arabella:

“Why not? He always seemed so lovely—”

Nicole:

“I think he’s not really into the idea that I be on the tour”.

Arabella:

“Ah-well, that may complicate things for me then-“

Nicole:

“Yeah, but if Mike agrees, I think the others should too, no?”

Arabella:

“Not sure, we’ll have to give it our best shot”.

Nicole:

“What if I threaten to leave if he doesn’t say yes?”

Arabella:

“I appreciate the effort, my love but I think that’ll be dangerous. Do you have that kind of leverage?”

Nicole:

“No, I’m just spit-balling here. I mean I’m not; I’m now set on the idea that you come on tour though”.

Arabella:

“I know, me too”.(Theme music plays signalling a break)

Nicole:

We arrived at the green room, and I opened the door surprised that there was no security.“Anyone could just walk in here”, I commented as we entered the room.

Arabella:

“I guess when The Band aren’t here it doesn’t matter too much-“

Nicole:

“Drink?” I offered. “There’s literally only beer and whiskey”.

Arabella:

“It’ll have to be whiskey then”.

Nicole:

“That’s my girl”, I grinned. “It’s so good to have you here, honestly”.

Arabella:

“I can’t believe you’re fucking Mike Solomon”,

Nicole:

She exclaimed as she sunk onto the couch.

“Yeah, but it’s heavily implied that it will happen again. Sounds like you still don’t believe it either-“Nicole:

“No, not at all-“ I carried the glass of whiskey to her.

Arabella:

“That’s a large glass of whiskey”,

Nicole:

“You’re going to need it”, I promised.

Arabella:

“So, what is it Mike wants from you?”

Nicole:

She asked interestedly, drinking her whiskey.“What do you mean?” I sat down next to her.

Arabella:

“Well, he wants you rather badly if he’s willing to offer you such a huge opportunity in return. I mean, how many fans do you think he does that for?”

Nicole:

“I don’t imagine many”

Arabella:

“None, I’d say. We would’ve heard about it”.

Nicole:

“I’ve never thought about it that way...” I sighed. “But he said it’s just because I like BDSM and understand his lifestyle”.

Arabella:

“Yeah...that could be attractive...especially if he doesn’t have that kind of thing at home”.

Nicole:

I, I, I'm just thinking, yes, it is attractive. Sure, um but even though he doesn't say this to me directly, it can't be just that he must think I'm pretty in some way.

Arabella:

He's obviously attracted to you.

Nicole:

Yeah,

Arabella:

I mean, that goes without saying. He wouldn't have brought you on if he wasn't.

Nicole:

Imagine a guy like of this calibre of, who has this much leverage with women, who's just like, yeah, you know what? You know what I feel, like my, my fetish of, of having sex with women I don't find attractive.(Nicole huffs a laugh)

Arabella:

Yeah,

Nicole:

What?

Arabella:

Unlikely.(Nicole still laughing) I think not.

Nicole:

Anyway, moving on. So sorry, um,

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

So,“I’ve never thought about it that way...” I sighed. “But he said it’s just because I like BDSM and understand his lifestyle”.

Arabella:

“Yeah...that could be attractive...especially if he doesn’t have that kind of thing at home”.

Nicole:

“I have no idea if he does”, I told her. “He forbade me to talk about anyone’s partners”.

Arabella:

“Probably for the best. But you do enjoy it, right?”

Nicole:

“Of course! I’m having the time of my life. I think it often outrides my common sense”.

Arabella:

“Not that you had much to begin with-“(Both laugh)

Nicole:

“Thanks”.

Arabella:

“Here for you, babe”,

Nicole:

She clinked her glass with mine.

“I orgasmed apparently without asking permission-“Arabella:

“What?”

Nicole:

“-and he made me go tell Jason!”(Both laugh)“Jason”

Arabella:

“That must’ve been excruciating”.

Nicole:

“Yeah, but he was super sweet and accommodating, Jason I mean”.

Arabella:

“I’m pretty sure you liked it”,

Nicole:

“Of course, I did. It’s like a huge fantasy come true. He’s so hot-““Who’s hot?” Mike asked, stepping into the greenroom suddenly.

Both:

“No one”.

Nicole:

We looked at each other guiltily.“Obviously, it’s me”, Zander said, walking into the room, grinning.

Arabella:

“Yeah”,

Nicole:

I heard Bella say under her breath.“So, this must be the friend”, Carter said but he didn’t sound hostile at all.“This is Arabella Gourlay”, I introduced her to the room. “She’s my best friend”, (Nicole laughs) I added with pride.

Arabella:

Every time, my best friend.

Nicole:

Every time. This podcast should have been called (Singing slightly) she's my best friend.

Arabella:

(Sings alongside) She’s my best friend

Nicole:

There was a murmur of “nice to meet you”.

Arabella:

“Most people call me Bella”,

Nicole:

She said to the room.“My apologies for the rude first impression earlier”, Mike told her. “I’m always a little worked up before a show”.

Arabella:

“Not a problem, Mr. Solomon”,

Nicole:

Bella smiled.

Arabella:

“So am I. I completely understand”.

Nicole:

Mike chuckled. “Please call me Mike”.“Hey, hold up”, I called out. “Why does she get to call you Mike and I-““You know why”, he answered shortly. “So, I’ll let the rest of the band introduce themselves”, he offered to Bella.

Arabella:

“Oh, that won’t be necessary. I’m familiar with everybody’s names”.

Nicole:

Bella sounded as confident as before, but I was happy she was not clinging to my hand but rather to her whiskey glass.“Hey”, Zander said, “you were the dancer on the stage-““Wait”, I smiled, “the one you said had a great ass?”

Arabella:

“What?”

Nicole:

What?“Yeah, well-uh-“ He started then walked away to the fridge for a beer.(Arabella snorts a laugh)“Note to self”, I said loudly. “Zander does not take embarrassment well”.

Arabella:

“He said I have a great arse?”

Nicole:

“Yeah, he was going on about it after the show”.(Arabella makes an almost silent excitement squeal) She looked very chuffed with herself.“You’re the Bella from the stories”, Jason said, bounding over.

Arabella:

“I’m confident I am”,

Nicole:

“In that case”, he grinned, “I’m fucking glad to meet you. Here, have another drink on me-“ He poured her glass of whiskey ridiculously full.

Arabella:

“Thank you, Jay-“I love how I call him Jay, but immediately I called Mike, Mr Solomon, the rest of them - just their names.(Nicole bursts out laughing followed by Arabella)

Nicole:

Yeah, but,

Arabella:

As soon as Mike said, call me Mike, everybody's names were just their first names

Nicole:

That kind of makes sense, though, doesn't it?

Arabella:

Yeah, I suppose so in a weird sense.

Nicole:

I think that makes sense because it's like, it's like it's a band, it's almost sometimes it's like an organism. They kind of go together.

Arabella:

I was wondering where you would go with your or…ooorr?

Nicole:

Oh yes, I know an organism. Not all my org words are the same words.(Both laughing)

Arabella:

Just most of them

Nicole:

Yeah, plus you have to think about the kind you have to think about their personalities. Mike, you kind of almost accidentally want to call him Sir.

Arabella:

Yes, you do

Nicole:

Um until you realize

Arabella:

He has big daddy energy

Nicole:

He has super big daddy energy, but where, but like Jay, even though he's a bit volatile and you know a bit like me, like a pocket rocket. Um, he doesn't give Sir vibes

Arabella:

He's not a pocket rocket, because he is too big to be a pocket rocket

Nicole:

Okay, so whatever vibrates much harder

Arabella:

You are a pocket rocket because you are tiny,

Nicole:

Oh, right okay

Arabella:

You're a tiny human.

Nicole:

Well, I don't know what. What he is then? A plane? I don't know but what the point

Arabella:

A bloody huge rocket

Nicole:

Yeah, but the thing is he, he doesn't, he doesn't give the vibes of call me Sir. Do you know what I mean?

Arabella:

No, he doesn’t, he doesn’t.

Nicole:

He's too, he's too energetic and too playful

Arabella:

Yeah, that’s really

Nicole:

Yeah, anyway that's sorry, just on a tangent there.

Arabella:

Yeah, anyway back to it

“Thank you, Jay-“Nicole:

“So how did you guys meet?” Noah asked, who sat down across from us.

Both:

“Oh, embarrassing”,

Nicole:

Bella and I both said at the same time.“Well now I really want to know”, Zander said, entering the conversation again with a beer in hand.“Are you telling them, or am I?”

Arabella:

“Together”

Nicole:

“I’ll start”,

Both:

Of course.

Nicole:

I said. “We were in Acting School together in England. A school called East 15. I was on the world performance course and she was on the physical theatre course-“

Arabella:

“So during the first night of freshers’ week, I guess you guys would say orientation week. There was this party in a third years house…”

Nicole:

“We referred to it as the dungeon because they had a type of basement where they had all the parties but they didn’t bother to paint the walls or anything-“ I added.

Arabella:

“…yeah, the dungeon-so we went to the dungeon-“

Nicole:

By this point, we had the whole band’s attention. They were all waiting expectantly.“So you met in this dungeon at a party?” Carter asked.

“Absolutely not, we went through the whole party without meeting each other“ Nicole:

“So how is this relevant to the story?” Mike asked.

Arabella:

“If you guys keep interrupting, you’ll never find out”, Bella smiled.

I laughed. “But we did not-“Arabella:

“No, you certainly didn’t but I tagged along anyway”.

Nicole:

“So, it turned out Bella lived like a street away from me and as we got to my house, she realised that she had no idea what was happening the next day or the next week so, I invited her up to come and have a look at my schedule-“I said that weird, I paused too long after come.(Both laughing)

Arabella:

I know,

Nicole:

And apparently Carter picked up on it because he says…“And like-did you have sex?” Carter asked.“No dude, hold your horses-“ I told him.“Someone had to ask”, he defended.

Arabella:

“Well, not that time at least”,

Nicole:

To their hoots, I told Bella; “They already know”.

Through the guys’ laughter and comments, I said loudly:

“ANYWAY, so she came up to my room to see the schedule and when I opened my bedroom door- “

Arabella:

“The walls were covered in posters of you guys so; we sort of screamed and jumped around holding onto each other”.

Nicole:

Yeah, like very unpleasant for any man in the vicinity

Arabella:

Yes, and actually, we kind of hate ourselves a little bit for being those screamy excitey girls. But

Nicole:

Yeah, we really didn't enjoy.

Arabella:

It was a moment; it was a moment.

Nicole:

We didn't enjoy it, but we should, we but own it, own it.“At the time, Bella was the first person I met who even knew who you guys were. So maybe we got a little over-excited”.“So, you’re a fan too?” Noah asked.

Arabella:

“I was a fan even long before Nicole was a fan. Second Album I think it was”.

Nicole:

“Shit, that is a long time ago”, Jason said.“Shit just got interesting”, Zander smiled.(Arabella lets a giggle escape)“So, what, you’re like a professional dancer?”

Arabella:

“Yeah, and I act a little bit but mostly dancing”,

Nicole:

“So, I’m still just a little confused about how you are both here but neither of you told the other you were actually going to be here”, Mike reminded us suspiciously.

Arabella:

“I tried to let Nicky know I was going to be here, but she hasn’t responded to my messages or calls for two days. It was incredibly frustrating. Where the fuck is your phone, woman?”

Nicole:

“I don’t even know”, I cringed. “Maybe on the bus?”(Arabella sighs dramatically)“Hey, don’t pretend like you would be looking at your phone if you were on tour with these guys-“ I said in my defence.

Arabella:

“Probably not, but you’re always forgetting where things are or letting your battery run out”.

Nicole:

“So, this phone bullshit and not knowing where you are is normal?” Mike asked testily. “That’s going to be an issue—find your damn phone”.(Arabella tries to stifle a laugh)“So, you didn’t tell your best friend that you were coming on tour with her favourite band?” Zander fake-gasped, “what kind of best friend are you?”

Arabella:

“Yeah, come to think of it, that’s pretty fucked up”.

Nicole:

“I think that deserves punishment, doesn’t it?” Jason suggested.“Hey, hey!” I called loudly. “No ganging up on me!”

Arabella:

“To be fair, I probably would’ve forgotten too if I was in the same boat as Nicky. But that doesn’t mean it can happen again-right, Nicky?”

Nicole:

“Right, right”, I said, holding up my hands in surrender. “I will find and charge my phone once we get on the bus”.

Arabella:

“Speaking of the bus, wasn’t there a conversation to be had?”

Nicole:

“What conversation?” I asked, confused. Bella pinched my arm subtlety.(Arabella scoffs)“Oh, yeah!” I remembered, “that conversation—uh, Mike, can I talk to you?”“You’re talking to me right now”.“I meant in private-“ I tried to smile as sweetly as possible.(Arabella starts to laugh) It probably just made me look like a bit of a creep.(Followed swiftly by Nicole)

Arabella:

Yes,

Nicole:

“I think I know what you’re going to ask me”, Mike sighed, “and I don’t make those type of decisions by myself. You’ll have to ask the whole band”.“Are you sure you know what I’m going to ask?” I checked. Mike sighed again. “Nicole wants Bella to join us on tour”.“I have no problem with this”, Zander said immediately and winked at Bella.

Arabella:

Yessss!

Nicole:

“Subtle, dude”, Carter laughed. “I don’t mind either”.“Hey, that’s not fair-“ I complained to him.“I’m hoping it’ll shut you up”, he shot at me. Okay, he just hates me personally.(Nicole huffs a laugh)

Arabella:

Yeah,

Nicole:

“I think you’ll find Bella is just as-“ Bella put her hand over my mouth.

Arabella:

“Not helping the point, my darling”.

Nicole:

I nodded. Noah shrugged. “More women, more fun”. Everyone looked at Jason expectantly who was amusing himself by tapping out a rhythm on his beer bottle. “What are we talking about?” he asked.“Can Bella come on the tour?” Zander prompted him, nudging his arm.“Hell yeah, she can come on the tour”, Jason cried out much louder than expected. “Bring everybody on the tour!”“So, that seems pretty unanimous to me”, I told Mike eagerly.“All right”, he gave in. “But no funny business and we’re not waiting for either one of you two”.

Both:

“Yes, Sir!” We celebrated that evening by getting a little drunk on the bus with the guys in another game of I have never. Thoroughly amusing, thoroughly regretted the next morning by Bella and myself.

Arabella:

Every damn time.

Nicole:

Well, can you imagine, the previous time I played this game with them it was with water, and I already made a tit of myself. Now can you imagine with alcohol?(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Oh, I can, because we, we played it many times while we were at Uni, and it was always pure carnage.

Nicole:

Pure carnage. But now I'm playing it with my favourite band.

Arabella:

Hilarious,

Nicole:

I'm really excited.(Nicole laughs again)

Arabella:

Yes, yes, this is carnage on a whole new level.

Nicole:

Very different level. Anyway, let us go on. After the game, I crawled into my bunk. Half an hour later, Mike squeezed into the bunk on top of me.“What’re you doing?” I whispered. Why am I saying that? Like I don't want him there?

Arabella:

What are you doing? Oh my god ewww(Both laugh)

Nicole:

“What’re you doing?” I whispered.“I want to talk to you in private”.“This is your idea of talking privately?” I asked with a smile. “Doing push-ups over me?” He actually chuckled. “It’s small, I get it. But we can’t exactly be fucking on the table-““I can’t believe I’m about to say this”, I groaned, “but I’m drunk. You sure you want to do this now?”“I’m drunk too so no spicy stuff”, he answered, quickly.“Maybe a little spanky?”(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Just a little one, please?

Nicole:

“Nope, not even that”, he said. “But you owe me big time for letting Bella come on the tour”.“So, wait-I have to fuck the whole band?” I teased. “Seeing as I clearly owe them too”.“Very funny”.(Arabella scoffs a laugh and makes a yeahhh noise in the background)“You’re much less intimidating when you’re drunk”, I chuckled a little loudly. “Maybe it’s-“He put a finger to my lips. “Shhh”. I swallowed my words.

“Speak quietly”, he said softly. “Everyone’s sleeping-“Arabella:

(Whispers) No they’re not(Nicole giggles)

Nicole:

Yeah, they’re not, but Bella gave it away.

Arabella:

Carry on

Nicole:

I nodded silently and he removed his finger from my lips.“If I forget to tell you later”, I whispered to him, “I so appreciate you bringing Bella on tour—I know the others agreed and all but yeah, I just wanted to tell you…thank you”.“You’re welcome”, he whispered back. “To be honest, it’ll probably come in handy when we’re busy, so you’re not left to your own devices”.“Bella’s not exactly a good girl- “I said, “before I could stop myself. “I mean-dammit”.

Arabella:

Both points are true though.

Nicole:

It is true,

Arabella:

I, I will help. I will help with the, with the boredom of you

Nicole:

You will control the

Arabella:

Limiting certain chaos, but we create together different chaos.

Nicole:

Very true“I know, I got the picture”, he confirmed.“But it’ll save me from boredom-“ I smiled. “And I get the feeling everyone likes her”.“It’s not going to create jealousy, is it?” he asked doubtfully.“Oh, not at all”, I told him. “Anyway, she’s mostly into Zander-““That’s lucky as he was pretty vocal about liking the look of her”, Mike said in hushed tones.

Arabella:

Yessss!

Nicole:

“I know, it’s so amazing,” I said excitedly.(Arabella lets out an ahhhhh of excitement)“Quiet”, he said, holding his hand over my mouth.“Sorry”, I said, my words muffled against his hand. When he released his hand, I murmured. “There’s a hierarchy for Bella and me in the band-““Really?” he grinned. “What is it?”“I’m absolutely not telling you that-“But what I will do is Bella, and I will tell you what the hierarchy is in real life, and that way

Arabella:

If it was real life

Nicole:

Or well in life. But um, we won't tell Mike, but we'll tell you the listeners. So, for me

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

it is um Jason shocker. Uh,(Both laugh a little)

Arabella:

Quelle surprise!

Nicole:

Jason, Mike and Carter, but Mike and Carter kind of swap positions, like they're kind of oh, that sounded weird I'm sorry,

Arabella:

Frequently(Both laugh)

Nicole:

Ooofff if only

Arabella:

Every time

Nicole:

Um they, they swap um where they are in the list, so sometimes it's

Arabella:

Places

Nicole:

Mike second, sometimes it's Carter second, because, God Daaaammmnnn, have you seen Carter these days? Anyway, ummm, and then Noah and then Zander, because, yeah, he's Bella's favourite, so he does absolutely nothing for my nether regions.

Arabella:

Exactly, we had a bit of a pact early on and it just, yeah,

Nicole:

Ruined everything.

Arabella:

So, mine is Zander, Mike, Noah, Carter, Jason.

Nicole:

Yep

Arabella:

But sometimes, sometimes Noah and Carter can sometimes switch, but yeah.

Nicole:

Yeah.

Arabella:

Yeah,

Nicole:

I mean

Arabella:

But yes, like, like Nikki, Jason is the bottom, just ‘cause he's hers and we've sort of in in this weird pack, we sort of stopped being attracted

Nicole:

Yeah, it's the weirdest thing. Like I can't even. I can't even do like self-fun with Zander in mind.

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

It's impossible. It's impossible.

Arabella:

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Nicole:

Can't feel anything anymore. It's mental anyway. So, so, we're not telling Mike in the story, but we told you in real life. So, When he released his hand, I murmured. “There’s a hierarchy for Bella and me in the band-““Really?” he grinned. “What is it?”“I’m absolutely not telling you that-““Tell me this-“ he said against my ear. “I know I’m not right at the top of your list but how ham, how high am I on the list?(Arabella laughs followed by Nicole)

Arabella:

How ham are you?

Nicole:

How ham am I?

Arabella:

How ham am I?

Nicole:

“High-“ I told him, “But you already knew that”. He watched me quietly. I didn’t wait for him to make the move. Gathering all my self-confidence, I reached behind myself to unzip my dress. I pulled the straps off my shoulders and wrapped my arms around him, lifting slightly to plant a kiss in his neck. He relaxed against me for a moment, his stomach on mine and legs slightly parted. Suddenly, he pushed himself up again. “Hold on...hold on...” His breath smelled like whiskey.“What?” I asked, breathlessly.“I thought you didn’t feel like it”, he said, softly.“I did not say that, I said that I was drunk”, I repeated, “but seeing as you’re drunk too-““You think you can be silent during?”(Arabella snorts a laugh)“Probably not”,

Arabella:

No

Nicole:

(Nicole wheezes a laugh) I confessed, “but they’re probably asleep

Arabella:

She

Nicole:

What?

Arabella:

You’re, you are never quiet.

Nicole:

That’s true it's not just in these moments.

Arabella:

Never

Nicole:

It's just never.

Arabella:

I have heard through many walls.

Nicole:

Excuse you!

Arabella:

Oh, and in person.

Nicole:

Of course, yes, please rub that in. Um(Arabella Hah haaaaa’s whilst Nicole laughs)“Probably not”, I confessed, “but they’re probably asleep besides I’m sure Jason doesn’t care if anyone can hear him having sex”.“How could you know that?” he frowned.“Just a guess-““Pretty good guess-““I’m observant”. He bit me gently in the neck. I lifted my body into his. He lifted up slightly

Arabella:

Tiny spice

Nicole:

Hey?

Arabella:

Tiny spice.

Nicole:

Tiny spice?

Arabella:

He bit you in the neck.

Nicole:

Yes

Arabella:

A lot of people consider that to be slightly spicy.

Nicole:

Oh, come on. People are vanilla as hell!

Arabella:

I know, I know it's… Yes, they are. it's not, it’s not our level of spicey.

Nicole:

Biting is now considered kink? Well, I suppose it is um, I just wouldn't, I just wouldn't say it's spicy, that spicy.

Arabella:

No, it's not. I'm just saying…

Nicole:

Okay, nah

Arabella:

The merest hint of spice.

Nicole:

Well, this is, this is, this, this is not spicy for Mike, and I let's put it that way.(Nicole chuckles)

Arabella:

No, it is not. It is definitely not.

Nicole:

He, if this is too spicy for you guys, you're not gonna like where this is going.(Nicole laughs a lot)

Holy craps no! Ha haaaaaNicole:

He bit me gently in the neck. I lifted my body into his. He lifted up slightly and clumsily undid his trousers. He pulled them off with his boxers. I pulled my knickers down to my knees and he helped me pull them off completely. He swiftly lifted up my dress and pushed inside me. I inhaled and let my head fall back. He started at a quick pace Apparently until we were both sweating with the exertion. We didn’t really have the time to take it slowly. Oh I wrapped my legs around him and lifted my hips so that he could get deeper inside me. He pulled me up with him so that we were half sitting without hitting our heads on the top of the bunk.

Arabella:

Less sexy

Nicole:

He pulled me against him Hmmm?

Arabella:

I said that would be less sexy.

Nicole:

It would (Exaggerated) Boooonk!(She laughs) and everyone would suddenly not be sleeping.

Arabella:

(Whispers) No one's sleeping.

Nicole:

(Quietly) Stop giving it away

Arabella:

(Still whispering) All right

Nicole:

He pulled me against him tightly and clung to him…and I clung to him. I clenched my teeth not to make a sound. His breathing picked up. I grabbed the back of his head and squeezed against him with my legs as I orgasmed. I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth not to moan with the pleasure. I believe I did a little anyway.

Arabella:

I believe she probably did quite loudly.

Nicole:

Probably. Also, um, I think what's more fiction than anything is the fact that I orgasmed from that little bit of ummm.

Arabella:

Yes.(Nicole bursts out laughing) Well, you know, a girl can dream.

Nicole:

FICTIONN! Huh?

Arabella:

A girl can dream

Nicole:

A girl could. I mean, I'd love to, but I know that doesn't happen.

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

Umm, He gasped and unhooked me from him at amazing speed. He pushed me onto my back and came over my dress on the way to my mouth. Bless him(Arabella giggles) His orgasm wasn’t nearly as extravagant as mine. He didn’t even have to fight to stop himself from making a sound. Men’s orgasms can be so disappointing.(Both laugh) A male friend of ours once told Bella and me that it feels like tripping over a mole hill when men come, which is just…

Arabella:

Yeah, I don’t know if that’s

Nicole:

It just sounds horrifying.

Arabella:

I don't know if that's completely true?

Nicole:

No, I hope not for his case. I really hope not.

Arabella:

I really hope not

Nicole:

But we digress.

Arabella:

Same

Nicole:

We digress really hard.

Arabella:

We do

Nicole:

Um, I moved so he could lay down as he looked suddenly exhausted. I wonder why(Arabella makes a noise of agreement)“Sorry about disappearing tonight”, I said. “I didn’t mean to make you wait”.“You’re apologising?” he asked, his eyes closed and chest heaving.“It has been known to happen”. He opened his eyes briefly and smiled a heart-breaking smile. “I’m sorry about your dress”.“It’s not the end of the world”, I whispered. “I could wear it as a keepsake”. Oh God(Both burst out laughing) And there goes the mouth.

Arabella:

Every time

Nicole:

“God, please don’t do

Arabella:

Oh Terrance

Nicole:

Yeah, exactly“God, please don’t do that-“ he yawned softly.(Both laugh) He also believes I would that’s the other thing. I giggled.“I wasn’t sure if I should ask for permission to orgasm as you said no spicy stuff?” He chuckled. “Pretend I was too drunk to notice”.

Arabella:

Yey!

Nicole:

I stared up at the top of the bunk, considering once again how surreal the last few days and that evening had been.“You should probably go back to your bunk”, I whispered to him.(Arabella scoffs a laugh) When he didn’t respond, I turned to look at him. He was breathing too deeply to be awake.“Mike?” No answer. Perfect. My bag was under the bus, and I didn’t have clothes with me to change out of the cum-stained dress. I decided I would sleep in my underwear in Mike’s bunk as it was way too uncomfortable with the two of us together. Not to mention, how sticky and hot it was.(Nicole chuckles) I pulled myself carefully over him, but he was so asleep he didn’t even move as I started climbing out of the bunk. Jeez, I was just like dude's dead. It was difficult avoiding him and my footwork failed halfway down causing me to fall onto the floor of the bus below. I managed to say “dammit” not too loudly.(Arabella has been stifling giggles all through this)“Hello”, Zander’s voice said.“Argh!” I scrambled to my feet, seeing the four other band members were still at the table with Bella. “Good fuck”, I mumbled in my distress.(Arabella looses it)

Arabella:

Good fuck, my dear man!

Nicole:

“It sounded like it”, Jason grinned. I blushed deeply. “Oh no-this isn’t happening”. Like I could like block them out, like no, just saying it's not happening? They're not really here

Arabella:

They're not there, they’re not there.

Nicole:

“To be fair”, Noah said, “we only heard Mike saying shhh over and over-““Sounds pretty creepy”, Carter added. Sounded pretty creepyI blushed deeper. “I assure you it was consensual”.

Arabella:

“Perhaps you would like to go and change?”

Nicole:

She raised her eyebrows and nodded quickly towards the stain on the dress. No one else seemed to notice. Jason did, ‘cause I can promise you, he's the most observant man you'll ever meet in your life, if you ever…

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

…were to meet. No one else seemed to notice.“Ah yes-about that”, I started, “my bag is under the bus. This is all I’ve got”.“Wear my shirt”, Jason offered. Who clearly noticed.

He didn’t give me time to refuse before pulling off his shirt and throwing it at me. Judging the look on my face, he added:

“I showered before putting it on”. He misinterpreted the look on my face to be more accurate.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Yeah,(Arabella laughs)

Nicole:

“That’s a shame”, came out of my mouth before I could stop myself.(Arabella continues to laugh as Nicole makes a noise of cringe)

Arabella:

“Nicky”,

Nicole:

Bella tried to remind me not to be creepy.“I mean, thank you, Jay”. He winked at me

Arabella:

As if it erases all the awkwardness.

Nicole:

Yeah, like he didn't hear that. Like I mean that's fine. He winked at me, and my heart jumped.“Where’s Mike?” Mark Miller asked me.“Fast asleep in my bunk”, I replied, trying to cover the stain awkwardly with my forearm.

Arabella:

“Tired him out, did ya?”

Nicole:

Bella smirked. They all laughed again.“Bella!” I said, fake-shocked. “Not you too”.

Arabella:

“Oh, we’re just playing with you. You know, I love you”.

Nicole:

“Could you guys close your eyes, please”.“Why?” roughly all of them besides Bella asked at the same time.“I need to change into this shirt-““So?” Jacob Miller asked.“I’m not wearing anything underneath it, obviously”.“More reason for us to keep our eyes open then”, Carter said, leaning back in his seat with a smile.(Arabella laughs quietly) Okay, he's giving me my power back at least. 24 hours later.

Arabella:

Yes, it’s only taken 24 hours(Nicole laughs) How the tables have turned.

Nicole:

“Fine, screw you guys”, I announced as I walked into the little toilet to change. There was a series of moans and comments, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. When I exited wearing Jason’s shirt as a mini dress, he whistled. “You should wear my clothes more often”.“You’re drunk”, I blushed.“A little, but not blind”, he beamed.

Arabella:

“Jay’s right. You look better in his clothes than he does”.

Nicole:

“Well now I know you’re lying”. I looked at Bella.(Arabella chuckles)“Um—what do I do with this?” I held the dress in my arms, stain down.

Arabella:

“Roll it into a ball and put it in my bag-“

“Are you sure?” I checked. “It’s—you know-“Arabella:

“Yes, it’s fine. We’ll deal with it later”.

Nicole:

I did what she said.“Thanks”, I smiled. “I love you”.“Love you too”, Jacob Miller chuckled.(Arabella laughs) Ahhh they’re making hardcore fun of our friendship, but they’re all super close so(Nicole laughs)

Arabella:

Yes

Nicole:

Um, I rolled my eyes but climbed into Mike’s bunk and fell asleep.

Arabella:

And that was Episode Seven - Hell Fucking No, It's Not Foreplay!

Nicole:

Yay! Thank you guys so much for being here and um, we hope you're enjoying it. It's fun, right? Like it's not just us?

Arabella:

Yeah

Nicole:

It's fun. It's great being here together, so um next week

Arabella:

Next week's episode should be quite fun, because it's, it's going to be from my perspective. So, while Nicky’s in the bunk having her fun time with Mike

Nicole:

Very fun

Arabella:

You get to hear what's going on outside of the bunk.

Nicole:

Yeah, and there'll be bits from

Arabella:

So, we’ll see how this goes.

Nicole:

Bella's going to be reading. It's going to be from her perspective, because it's Bella, right? So, she's going to be doing the big narration and I'm going to be doing the comments for a change.

Arabella:

Ah, poo.

Nicole:

Yeahhh Right,(Arabella laughs) and this is Bella

Arabella:

Alright well,

Nicole:

Bella and Nicole shenanigans this week Signing off.(Nicole blows a kiss)

Arabella:

All right, bye!

Nicole:

Bye!(Theme music plays out with lyrics)“…. Hanging on to everything you said. And everything you did was so wonderful! So unbelievable! What is this world without you? We’re hanging on to what you were, even if it hurts!...”

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