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Unruly Confessions Ep 5 - Aqua Doom

Arabella: 0:03

The following podcast contains adult themes, graphic sexual content, strong language, alcohol and drug references, and some infrequent violence. Everything you need for a wild ride.

Nicole: 0:05

Also, please do remember that this is a work of fiction, please do not come for us. We not here to upset you. So, if any of the characters are familiar to you, you find similarities with real people or their music, just know that they're all lightly inspired by many of our favourite bands, and they are completely fictional, Okay? So let us not, let us not get upset about this.(Nicole laughs)(Podcast theme music plays – Rat Head by Big Mouse Tree House)

Arabella: 0:09

Welcome back to Unruly Confessions and our cozy little bosom of happiness. I am your host, Arabella Gourlay, and this is my super-duper co-host.

Nicole: 0:11

Nicole van Niekerk.(Nicole chuckles) Apparently, I'm super-duper!

Arabella: 0:15

You are. You are rather super.

Nicole: 0:17

Oh, thank you. Bella is also really, really cool.

Arabella: 0:19

And I do love you a lot. I mean I know you only get my little giggles and weirdness popping in, but they will be more from me coming soon.

Nicole: 0:21

Oh, yes, that's actually a good thing, because this is the last episode where Bella will not be a character in the story.

Arabella: 0:23

BOOM!

Nicole: 0:25

Because after Aqua Doom, this episode, um the next episode, Bella is coming into the story. I kind of gave that away, but you know the surprise. Whatever, it's not that big a surprise anymore.

Arabella: 0:27

But taking it back to...

Nicole: 0:29

Today.

Arabella: 0:31

First, let me recap.

Nicole: 0:33

Sorry, Bella's going to recap the fourth episode, and then we're going to do today's episode.(Nicole cackles a little) We're excited.

Arabella: 0:37

Last episode, Knee-Jerk Reaction; we found Nicole having to enter the cabin dun dun duuuhhh! And as she does, she comes and sees he is half naked and wearing only just a towel around his hips. Dear god, wouldn't we like to walk into that cabin?

Nicole: 0:42

Yes

Arabella: 0:44

He was surprisingly calm about the whole ketchup situation, didn't even bring it up. There were showers and, and then there was fucking. There was a lot of fucking. And there was a blindfold. There was a blindfold and, and society is bullshit! Became a thing.

Nicole: 0:48

That's basically the episode.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella: 0:51

That was basically the episode. Oh, and she came without permission which, as we will soon, as we know from last week not allowed big no-no, big no-no!

Nicole: 0:54

It is important that Bella brought that up because that's coming back, so yes.

Arabella: 0:56

Yes, that will come back to bite her in the ass.(Nicole laughs) And so afterwards he did his lovely bit of aftercare. They decided to discuss what they did like and what they didn't, and then she annoyed him before bedtime, and she was happy and then they slept. And now we're on to episode five Aqua Dooooom!

Nicole: 1:01

Aqua Dooooom!(Both laugh) We are the munchkinny munchkins.

Arabella: 1:05

I’m sorry. There is no other way to say that name Aqua Dooooom.(Podcast theme music plays – Rat Head by Big Mouse Tree House)

Nicole: 1:08

(Sings a wee ditty with Arabella joining her)“Aqua doom is the water for you. Aqua doom, aqua doom, aqua doom is the water for you. Aqua doom, aqua doom.” Okay, and here we go. Where am I? I asked myself. I felt very disorientated when I opened my eyes. Looking around me, I realised I was in a hotel room of some kind. Something told me that there was something very important that I was missing. There was a body heat very close to me, pressing up against my back. I looked over my shoulder and saw I head of dirty blonde hair. Oh, yeah! The Band!(Both laugh) How could I forget that?

Arabella: 1:17

Best night of your life forgotten.(Both laugh harder)

Nicole: 1:20

No, it's. I… It all started coming back to me. I wasn’t the freshest person in the morning. I yawned and stretched. I got out of bed and went to my bag. I took out my mobile to sneakily take a photo of Mike while he was still asleep. Not creepy at all.

Arabella: 1:24

That's fair enough. I think we would all do that.

Nicole: 1:26

I think we all would. I'm not sure how he'd feel about it.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella: 1:29

No, no, but it'd be like I have to prove this is true.

Nicole: 1:31

That's true, so I don't forget about it tomorrow.(Nicole laughs)

Arabella: 1:34

Yes.(Arabella laughs)

Nicole: 1:37

I noticed there were quite a few messages from Bella. I quickly took the photo and went to the bathroom to do something about my hair, get dressed and read Bella’s messages.

Arabella: 1:39

If you would please. Thank you very much.(Nicole chuckles)

Nicole: 1:42

“Almost done?” I screamed and wheeled around to see Mike standing right behind me in his underwear. I was triply embarrassed at that moment for being naked in daylight, for being shocked and for screaming because of all of it.(Arabella chortles) He chuckled. “You’re covering yourself again”.“Old habits die hard”. He raised his eyebrows and cast a look down me. I dropped my arms on cue, revealing my breasts and private parts. “I was just about to change, and I got distracted”. He chuckled again. “Hurry up”. He turned and started walking for the door. When I had wet and scrunched my hair, I walked back into the bedroom. Mike was dressed in grey sweatpants and a red t-shirt, sitting on the bed, writing on a piece of paper. Who do you guys think he looks like? Just you know, but if you, if you can put in the comments, maybe below them.

Arabella: 1:54

Yeah

Nicole: 1:56

The podcast, who you think if we said grey sweatpants, red t-shirt, maybe like a baseball cap, what does that say to you? And obviously don't cheat.

Arabella: 1:58

Seriously

Nicole: 2:00

Because we're about, we're about to tell you who it is, but, like, don't cheat and tell us who you thought before

Arabella: 2:02

I mean it's any of you are in your 30’s

Nicole: 2:04

If you're from our generation, Yeah(laughing)

Arabella: 2:08

From our generation. (sings) my generation!

Nicole: 2:10

Oh no, don't. Bahhh!(Arabella cackles loudly) Nice, Bella. I sniggered as I walked.

Arabella: 2:15

Well, you were literally about to say it.

Nicole: 2:17

Yes I sniggered as I walked towards my bag. My smile didn’t go unnoticed.“What?” he asked me.“You’re dressed like Fred Durst”, I told him.(Arabella quietly chuckles and sings My Generation) He smiled briefly to himself. “You’re not dressed at all, and I told you to hurry up”.“Sorry”.“Before we go to breakfast, I just want to establish something”, he said. He put the piece of paper down.“Okay”.“I forgot to put this into the agreement- “he said, “but it’s very important--we can’t kiss on the mouth”.“Oh!” I said, taken aback. “That makes sense about last night then. Just why aren’t I allowed to kiss you?”“It’s an agreement Ava and I have”, he answered seriously.“Of course, no kissing”, I agreed. He took up the piece of paper again and continued writing vigorously on it. I got dressed in a black and white dress with sandals. I walked to the cabin door.“One more thing-“he said before I could leave. “We never discussed your punishment for orgasming without permission”.

Arabella: 2:34

Told you it was going to come back and bite her in the ass.

Nicole: 2:36

“I was hoping you forgot about that, Sir”.“I never forget”. I sighed. “What is my punishment?”“You have to go find Jay”, he ordered, “tell him what you did”.(Arabella sniggers)“Oh, that’s so humiliating”, I moaned. “Why not Noah? Or Zander? Carter! I can tell Carter. He’ll hate it”.(Arabella howls with laughter joined by Nicole)“It’s supposed to be humiliating”, Mike said, “you know why it’s Jay and not anyone else”.

Arabella: 2:45

Mmmhmmmm

Nicole: 2:47

“So, I have to tell him sometime before the tour ends?” I asked hopefully.“Nice try”, he smiled, “before the bus leaves this morning”.“That’s not fair!”“You complaining it’s not fair just makes this so much more satisfying”, Mike grinned.(Arabella cackles)“Fine”, I sighed. “You coming?” I asked the still-writing Mike.“I’ll see you for breakfast”, he said, not looking up at me. I walked to the restaurant. I could see the guys already at the table as I approached the patio.“Morning”, I smiled and sat down at the table.“You’re cheerful”, Noah noted.“Not more than usual”, I replied.“So— “, Mark Miller was watching me with a naughty smile. “What happened last night?”“Nothing”, I told him easily and filled my glass with the juice that was set on the table.“Yeah right”, he persisted. “Do you expect me to believe that?”“Mark, I’m not going to give you the juicy details, all right?” I said and took a sip of the juice.“Fine”, Jacob said, “but you haven’t given us anything yet”. I sighed. “All right, I’m not going to tell you anything”.“No matter”, Mark said and winked at me. “Mike will tell us”. I rubbed over my face. “Do what you like, I’m not telling you anything”. They laughed. “Scared Mike will be upset?”“Come on, leave the girl alone”, Billy said. The other two bodyguards were waiting by the bus I noticed.

Arabella: 3:09

Aww Billy

Nicole: 3:11

“Where were you last night then?” I asked the Miller Brothers.“Asleep”, Jacob replied.“Asleep?” I asked. “Wow...and there was I thinking you were up to no good...You disappoint me”. They laughed.(Arabella and Nicole chuckle) Carter was still looking sour. I noticed he was also drinking a beer. I got fruit and yogurt while the guys were all having fried breakfasts because I didn’t like eggs.“Where’s Mike?”

Arabella: 3:20

She was scared of them. She used to be terrified of them.

Nicole: 3:22

Yeah, I used to.

Arabella: 3:24

It was a whole thing.

Nicole: 3:26

Yeah, I, I had a phobia

Arabella: 3:28

It was a whole thing.

Nicole: 3:30

I do eat them now.

Arabella: 3:32

A serious phobia of eggs

Nicole: 3:34

Yeah

Arabella: 3:36

Yes, since she had a baby.

Nicole: 3:38

Yeah, it changed my taste buds.(Nicole chuckles)

Arabella: 3:41

She's all about the eggs now

Nicole: 3:43

In more ways than one. What?

Arabella: 3:45

Boom

Nicole: 3:47

Boom, chakalaka.

Arabella: 3:49

What? Who said that? Not us.

Nicole: 3:51

Right back to business.

Arabella: 3:53

Back to it.

Nicole: 3:55

“Where’s Mike?” Andrew asked.“He’s writing something in the cabin”, I replied. “Carter-why are you-?”“Don’t talk to me”.“Come on, Carter,” Zander said.“That’s all right, Zander”, I smiled. “If it makes him happy, I won’t talk to him”.“Oh, it makes me very happy”, he smiled, half-heartedly.“Come off it, Carter,” Noah said.“I was just wondering if it’s not too early to drink beer, that’s all”, I said to everyone at the table.(Arabella sucks in a breath with a nervous giggle) He narrowed his eyes at me, daring me to continue. That would have been a good time not to continue.

Arabella: 4:07

It really would be.

Nicole: 4:09

“It’s not like you’re getting any younger”, I said and took a mouthful of fruit and yogurt.

Arabella: 4:11

Oh shit!

Nicole: 4:13

“Oh, bitch,” he said loudly, getting up. “You did not just call me old”.“Carter, sit down, buddy”, Noah said.“No fucking way”, Carter said. “I’m sick of this shit. You are a huge distraction on this tour!” I stood up myself. No, Nicole, sit down!

Arabella: 4:19

Sit the fuck down woman.

Nicole: 4:21

“Carter, just because you’re gagging for it—don’t take it out on me”.

Arabella: 4:23

Holy shit

Nicole: 4:25

Once the words left my mouth, I wished I never said anything. It was very quiet except for Bella(Nicole laughs)

Arabella: 4:29

Who is just dying back here going, oh fuck no.

Nicole: 4:31

That is the right reaction to this. I'm actually sweating because I'm actually it feels really real. I'm just reading it, but I'm like uh, oh, uh, oh.

Arabella: 4:33

Uh oh, all the alarm bells are going up everywhere going Nicole stop!

Nicole: 4:35

Yeah, he's gonna be angry. Once the words left my mouth, I wished I never said anything. It was very quiet except for my nervous panting. Carter looked furious and a muscle in his jaw was jumping. He turned and stalked away from the table.“Shit”, I said, sitting back down. “Sorry, guys”. Nobody said anything because everybody knew that that was mostly my fault

Arabella: 4:42

Yes

Nicole: 4:44

and that I said the wrong thing.

Arabella: 4:46

Yes

Nicole: 4:48

If it was Mike, I’d already be running after him and thinking of how to rectify the situation, but I had too much pride to do that with Carter.(Both chuckle)“I’ll just go hide somewhere”, I finally said, looking at no one and getting up to leave.“Worst thing you could do”, Zander said and pulled me back down by my arm. “Just stay here”.“Dammit”, I moaned. “Me and my big mouth”.“I’m sure it’s good for something”, Jason chuckled.

Arabella: 4:55

Always ready to lower the tone.

Nicole: 4:57

Thank you, Jason. Me and him together are an atrocity, an atrocity!

Arabella: 4:59

Yes

Nicole: 5:01

I sighed. It was not the time for jokes. I’ve already done another thing worthy of punishment and I haven’t yet atoned for the first. Seconds later, Mike came down the path. I saw him talking to Carter halfway between the bus and the restaurant. Mike patted Carter on the back before they walked in opposite directions. Carter walked back across the road towards the cabins and Mike came towards the restaurant.“Stop bopping”, Zander said and put a restraining hand on my shoulder. “If you’re going to talk shit-you’ve got to face the consequences”. I cringed as some of the band laughed. Mike stopped just outside the glass sliding door on the patio.“Maybe Carter didn’t tell him”, I said hopefully, watching Mike. He beckoned me towards him.“Maybe he wants something else”. I sunk deeper into my seat.(Arabella giggles a little)“Go find out then”, Mark said, eager to watch the drama unfold.“No, I’ll just stay here in case”.“I’m waiting”. Mike’s voice carried across the patio. I flinched, getting up and walking slowly towards him. He took me by the wrist and led me further away, digging his fingers into my skin.“Ow!” I said, shaking his hand off. He let me go when we were far away enough that we couldn’t be heard.“If this is about Carter- ““Shut up”, he hissed. “Do you have to start rubbing people up this early in the morning?”“It was Carter!” I retorted.“Mr. Townsend”, he barked. I ignored him. “Mr. Dickhead if you prefer. He’s been mean to me since the beginning with no good reason.”(Arabella lets out a bark of laughter)“I don’t fucking care!”(Arabella is still laughing so hard) Let's just give Bella a moment,(Nicole laughs) Mr dickhead. I know how to help myself out of a sticky situation.

Arabella: 5:28

And it’s the fact that “He's being mean to me!” He’s so mean! You're not back in school (ironically)

Nicole: 5:30

I am sort of…clearly. Okay. I ignored him. “Mr. Dickhead if you prefer. He’s been mean to me since the beginning with no good reason.”“I don’t fucking care!” he said. “You better show him respect. I don’t need you tearing the band apart”.“The band is tearing itself apart well enough without me!” I retorted automatically. “No, no! That’s not true! I’m in defence mode, and I’m not speaking clearly. I didn’t mean that. I’ll drive with Billy to Paris to punish myself and give Carter some space”.(Both laugh)

Arabella: 5:36

Panic, panic, retreat, retreat

Nicole: 5:38

Mike burst out laughing, surprising me into silence. “You’re doming yourself now? What am I supposed to do?”(Both chuckle) I didn’t dare laugh or respond. He took a deep breath. “You can drive on the bus but stay out of Carter’s way and stop upsetting him”.“Yes, sorry”, I said quickly. “Thank you, Sir”.“Go get your stuff and wait on the bus”.“Yes, Sir”.“Have you had breakfast?”“Yes, Sir”.“Get out of here!”“I haven’t had a chance to speak to Jason yet- “I admitted. “He was already having breakfast”.“Go wait on the bus”, Mike said, “and I’ll send him to you. You have ten minutes to do what I asked of you before the rest of us come”. He walked back towards the guys, and I walked back to the cabins to get my things before going to the bus. I was sitting on one of the sofas in the back of the bus when Jason climbed the stairs and walked over to me. Crap, this is going to be hard, I thought the moment he came into view.“Mike said you wanted to tell me something”, he said, smiling, “in private?” I sighed. “He’s making me do it”.“I figured”, Jason responded, sitting down next to me.“This is really embarrassing”, I groaned.“I can tell”, he said. “Should I turn my back, or go stand on the other end of the bus?”“No, I have to say it to your face”, I answered.“Don’t tell me, and I’ll say you did”, he offered sweetly.

Arabella: 6:01

He's so lovely. He's so lovely.

Nicole: 6:03

“I’m a really bad liar”, I defended, “he’ll have the truth out of me in seconds, and then it’ll be worse”.“I’m out of ideas”, Jason grinned, “you better just spit it out”.“Last night, I orgasmed without permission”, I announced rapidly. I blushed and started laughing in embarrassment.(Both giggle a little)“That’s it?” He smirked, the scar at the corner of his mouth, giving the appearance of his mouth pulling off-centre. “That’s almost disappointing”.“Thanks, Sir”. He bit his lip.“What?” I asked.“You calling me Sir feels strange”, he told me, “but I like it”.“Why did Mike send you to tell me?” Jason asked curiously.“Because it’s clearly humiliating for me- ““Is it specifically more humiliating with me, or would it be with anyone?”“Please don’t ask me that”, I pleaded, “I told you I’m a bad liar”.(Arabella lets out a low dirty chuckle) Jason took my cheeks in his hand and squeezed them. “You’re so fucking cute”, he said, before letting go, as the rest of the band filed onto the bus.“Did you do what I asked you to do?” Mike asked when he saw me.“Yes, Sir”.“Jay, did she?”“Absolutely”. Thank God for Jason Shanahan.“Get out of my sight”, Mike said.“Where am I supposed to go?”“Just get out of my sight!” I walked to the front of the bus.“Hey, Mike”, I greeted the driver.“Hey, Nicole”.“Can I sit here and write?” I asked him as he started the bus.“Sure”. I sat down on the seat next to him, preparing to write some lyrics.“Why aren’t you with the guys?” Mike asked interestedly.“Mike’s slightly annoyed with me because I upset Carter this morning”, I told him, “And Carter wants to drown me when the others aren’t looking”.(Arabella laughs)“Yikes!” Mike said. “It’s not going well, is it?”“No, it’s actually really fun”, I chuckled.(Both laugh) And if you didn't know that I was twisted, here it is.

Arabella: 6:40

Yep

Nicole: 6:42

“Want some JD?” he asked, presenting a bottle of Jack Daniels from under his seat.“What?” I asked, shocked. “You’re not drinking that while you’re driving?”“No”. He laughed.(Arabella laughs)“Just an emergency supply for when the boys get restless”.“Uh huh”, I said. “Maybe I shouldn’t—I’m in enough trouble as it is”.“Give them a rest—they’ll come around”.“Sure”. I re-focused on my writing. Laughing and booming voices made it hard for me to concentrate half an hour later. The guys were obviously doing something entertaining at the back of the bus.“Nicole!” Mike called. “Come here!”“There you go”, Mike, the driver said. “I think you’re forgiven”.“I wouldn’t be so sure”. I walked down the narrow hallway towards the guys. They were all sitting around the table, drinking Aqua Doom, a brand of water that came in cans.“Before you say anything”, Carter said testily, “this is water, not alcohol”.“Defensive much?” I chuckled.“What I had this morning was a non-alcoholic beer”, he informed me, “not that I need to explain myself to you”.“Sorry, Carter”, I said, “I realise I overshot my mouth a lot this morning”. Carter scowled at me. I turned towards Mike. “You called, all powerful one?”(Arabella giggles)“Cute”, Mike said, “so I will overlook your rudeness. “You’re going to play drinking games with us”. I burst out laughing. “You’re playing drinking games with water?”“We have a show today”, Mike reminded me.“But drinking games at forty?” I kept laughing.“You have not spent the last 15 years on a bus”, Zander told me in no uncertain terms. “You get so bored; you do anything for entertainment”.“Plus, there’s nothing wrong with any games at any age”, Zander schooled me.

Before I could answer, Mike said: 7:08

“You’re not allergic to water, are you? So shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down”. Ooo okay I’m sitting

Arabella: 7:11

Ooo Daddy!

Nicole: 7:13

Mike Bwoop do do ooop Mike got up so I could sit between him and Noah on the sofa. “Great, now I’m pinned-in, no escape”.“I think that was the idea”, Noah whispered.“Hey”, I called. “Where are the Miller brothers?”“Asleep again”, Zander smiled.“Are they growing boys or something?” I frowned. “How much sleep do they need?”(Both chuckle)“They didn’t sleep much in the days leading up to Sonisphere”, Jason responded. “We made sure of that”.(Arabella lets out a saucy chuckle) The game they wanted to play was called I have Never with a twist. It was one of Zander’s little games. It was I have never but at any point someone could ask you to elaborate, and you must cooperate. Also, anyone could suggest anything even if they’d done it before as long as they drank. That was obviously needed because there were very few things they hadn’t done.

Arabella: 7:26

This was inspired by the way that we play it.

Nicole: 7:28

It's the way that we play it exactly because we also cannot and we're like, uh, trying to think of something. (Both are making exaggerated thinking sounds) Anyway.“I would just like to point out that I have a small bladder and I’m a small person and therefore it’s not particularly fair”, I pointed out just before the game started.“Fine—we’ll take two sips for everyone one you take”, Mike offered.“Hydration is fun, hydration is fun”, I chanted.(Arabella laughs through this exchange) Jason snorted. “If you’re like this with water, I’d like a rematch with alcohol at some point”.(Theme music plays signalling a break) Noah started the game.“I have never forgotten a line on stage”, he said. Mike, Carter and I drank.“I have never been expelled from school”, I said. Oh, that's not an American. All right

Arabella: 7:42

That would be you.

Nicole: 7:44

“I have never been expelled from school”, I said. Mike and Jason drank.“I have never streaked”, Mike said. Every single one of us besides Mike drank.“You totally have”, I told Mike. “Your music video”. He shook his head. “That’s different. It was for work”.“No, fuck that”, I said, “you have to drink- ““No, you have to be naked and running in a public area for it to count as streaking”, Zander explained.“Why did you?”

Arabella: 7:54

That was my point.

Nicole: 7:56

Mike asked.“It was a dare”, I explained. “I was sixteen. We were having a barbeque and I had to run around the garden naked. Little did I know the parents were watching through the glass window”. I cringed.(They chuckle) They all laughed.“Your parents?” Zander asked.“No!” I exclaimed. “Thank goodness! But if we’re counting being naked on purpose like at kink events…, are we counting those?”“No”, Mike said, “if we’re counting those, we’ll never stop drinking”.(Both laugh)“I have never been caught fucking someone else’s girlfriend”, Zander said. It went really quiet around the table. A couple of people looked at Noah and he slowly took a drink.“Noah-“I said, shocked. “I mean, Mr. Nowak! Oh, screw it...whose girlfriend?”“Mine”, Mike said.“WHAT?” I asked. “You had sex with Ava?”“No, no!” Noah insisted. “It was a girl before her”.“Who?” I asked.“Just a girl in high school”, Mike told me, “He ended up doing me a favour. I met Ava a few weeks later”.“Jay was seeing her before Mike”. I laughed. “Were there not enough girls in your high school? Aren’t American high schools massive?”“You know who you know”, Jason answered.“So, this is like a normal thing for you guys?” I frowned, “just swapping women around?”(Arabella laughs)“It wasn’t like that”, Noah defended.“That’s enough out of you”, Mike said, “don’t get any ideas”.“I’m not getting ideas”, I grinned. “Just curious”.

Arabella: 8:21

No ideas.

Nicole: 8:23

No ideas.

Arabella: 8:25

None, not one.

Nicole: 8:27

“I’ve never gone down on someone”, Carter said. To my great surprise, Matt winked at me, and I blushed. Of course, everybody drank. The next round I heard an interesting story about the band being escorted from a club in Germany for being too rowdy.“I’ve never been with a woman”, Noah said with a smile. All the guys drank and were pleasantly surprised when I did.“When was this?” Zander asked.“Which one are you referring to?” I countered. That earned me a couple of interesting eyebrow raises.“Oh, come on”,

Arabella: 8:38

Interesting?

Nicole: 8:40

(Both laughing) Interested, interested eyebrow raises.“Oh, come on”, I said, taking a sip of my water. “Are you telling me you’ve never met girls who’ve been with other girls? You’re rock stars!”“Of course, we have”, Mike said, “but I didn’t expect it from you”. I frowned. “Why?”“You look so innocent—but you’re not. It confuses us”.“Bisexuality has nothing to do with innocence”, I answered, “I would just like to point out, how am I seen as innocent, when I agreed to coming on this tour ten seconds into meeting you?”(Still laughing)“Overstatement”, Michael. Michael smiled. Oh gosh, Mike smiled. I mean, it is Michael, but you get. Yeah,

Arabella: 8:51

Yes

Nicole: 8:53

Mike smiled, “but that’s a fair point…slut”.(Arabella bursts out laughing)“Well, I stepped in that one”, I laughed.“Would you like to tell us about them?” Jason asked.“Would you like me to tell you about them?” I countered.“Obviously”, he smiled, “I’m just trying not to be a creep”.“Jeez”, I said, “as I said, I’m bi so there are literally just the women I was seeing. But I suppose the juicy stories are that once my friend and I made a deal with these two guy friends of ours that if they went down on each other, we would. So, they did— ““Wait—what?” Carter asked. “Back up- ““Oh, look at that”, I smiled. “He does speak”.“Hey, hey”, Mike said, looking from me to Carter. “Don’t start”.“What do you mean-what?” I asked Carter.“Were they gay?”“Uh-no, well-they said they were straight up to then”, I replied, “but afterwards-well, they never mentioned it again. I know one of them came out about five years later but the other, not a clue”.“Maybe they were just desperate to see some action”, Jason suggested. “Or experimenting”.“Could anyone be that desperate?” Carter asked, flabbergasted. I laughed. “Relax. No one’s going to make you do it”. Everyone laughed and Carter took a swig of water, scowling again.“So do continue— “Jason said and mock bowed. I giggled. “Well, besides relationships, I had quite a few threesomes with my best friend, Bella”. Boom boom boo boo boom

Arabella: 9:14

(Arabella bursts out laughing followed by Nicole) What was that? Boom boom boo boo boom

Nicole: 9:18

I don't know, I was trying to not make it weird by making it really weird. I giggled. “Well, besides relationships, I had quite a few threesomes with my best friend, Bella”.“You’re a bit of a dark horse”, Noah said.“I can say the same for you”.“I have never- “I started. “Never- ““Come on” Jason said.“Hang on!” I said. “I’m finding it difficult to think of something I’ve never done”. There was laughter again and I blushed.(Arabella chuckles)“That’s okay”, Zander said. “You can say something you’ve done. All the rest of us have”.“Um...I have never been shot at”, I said. “I really haven’t...well, not directly. You know, South-Africa”. Mike drank.“What?” I asked, my hands going to my mouth in shock. He shrugged. “It was someone hitting up a convenience store I happened to be in”.“Holy crap!” I exclaimed. “They shot at you?”“Lower your voice, please”, he said. “This is an enclosed space and I’m sitting right next to you. Yes, they shot at me”.“Wow”, I said. “So, like America’s a little scary”.“And South-Africa isn’t?”“No, you’re right—just bad luck I guess”. I cleared my throat. “I’m so sorry. My question killed the mood”.“I’ll try get it back up”, Mike suggested. “I have never masturbated”.“Oh, you totally have!” I told him. He shrugged. “I couldn’t think of anything else”.“How often?” I asked, softly.“What?”“Never mind”. But Noah heard me because he was sniggering.“No”, Mike smiled. “What was the question?” I cleared my throat uncomfortably. “Uh-how often?” He laughed. “Every few days, give or take”.“What?” He frowned at my reaction.“I mean—that’s little”.“I’m not a teenager”, he replied. “And I’m married—have you forgotten?”“No”, I said and then under my breath, “not to mention the sexual activities with other women”.“What was that?” Mike asked.“Nothing”, I said, quickly. But Noah heard me again because he shook his head with a smile.“Okay”, Mike said, looking back at the guys. “Back to the game—drink you bunch of jackoffs”.(Nicole chuckles followed by Arabella) There was laughter as everyone, but I drank. Mike gave me a withering look. “Drink”.“What makes you think I masturbate?” I asked, sweetly. “Didn’t we say just now how innocent I look?” He rolled his eyes. “Please save me your shit”.(Both laugh) I drank. Okay fine!“I have never masturbated to a member of the band”, Zander said. He winked at me, and I thought of kicking him under the table. No one drank and as if on cue, they all looked at me.“Uh—I would like to object due to the unfairness of said question.”“Denied, Denied!

Arabella: 10:11

Denied!

Nicole: 10:13

“Denied, answer the question”, Mike said.“You all know the answer is yes”.“Still-I want you to drink to it”.“Shame on you”. I glared at him and drank.“Who was it?” Mike asked, mischievously. I groaned.“I gave you my details”, he reminded me.“You didn’t tell me to who- ““Nicole”, he said in a warning voice.“All of you at one point”, I answered. “But Zander…”“You’re just saying that ‘cause I asked the question”, Zander retorted.“You think really highly of yourself”, I shot back. He shrugged. “I got game”.“Maybe, maybe not”, I told him, “You’ll never know for sure”. I grinned at him.“How often?” Noah asked.“Dude…” I swallowed. “It depended on my mood”.“Yeah?” I sighed. “Sometimes once-sometimes—um...twice...”“A week?” Noah pushed.“No- ““A day?” Carter demanded. I nodded, sheepishly. Zander whistled. “How the hell did you manage that?” I shrugged. “I don’t need time to rest in between”.“Moving on”, Mike announced.(Both laugh)“I have never had sex”, Carter said. Everybody drank and Jason asked me about my first time.“It was two months ago”. Mike spluttered. “What?” Jason and Zander laughed.(Both laugh)“Oh, come on”, I said. “I’m kidding. I’m fucking thirty-three. But to be fair, it was late. I was twenty-one”.“Is the age of consent in South-Africa that high?” Zander asked.“It was choice”, I laughed, “A guy I studied with”.“Classic”.“I was very drunk”, I admitted. “So, I didn’t really feel anything. I’m not exactly proud”.“I’ve never had a threesome”, Mike said. Everyone drank.“How many have you had? “ Noah asked me.“Oh…don’t know”, I answered. “Many. Lots with Bella and guys, some with Bella and girls, quite a few without Bella. Like seventy percent were with Bella”.(Nicole huffed a laugh)“I want to meet this Bella-chick”, Jason said, “have you ever had one with two guys?”“I actually haven’t”, I shrugged, “not that I didn’t want to, the opportunity just never presented itself”.“You’d be a very lucky girl”, Carter commented, softly. I raised my eyebrows at his words, surprised as it almost sounded like flirting.“I meant in fucking general—I didn’t mean with me!” he sighed, “God”.

Arabella: 11:01

(Both laugh) Let us not be clear here

Nicole: 11:04

Okay Carter!“I didn’t say anything”, I said, holding up my hands in surrender. “You see? I didn’t say anything”, I said to Mike.“Just continue the game”, Mike said.“I have never been with a man”, Noah said. I obviously drank and so did Jason.“Huh?” I asked for lack of a better word due to shock. He shrugged. “I kissed some guy in my final year of high school. Nothing massive”.“I’m somewhat impressed”, I said.(Arabella chuckles)“I try everything once”, he told me.“Everything?”“Almost everything”, he winked.“Oh, and that one time between Mike and Zander-“(She chuckles again)“What?” Mike asked, frowning at me.“Yeah-what?” Zander asked, leaning forward on the table.“There’s a picture of you guys kissing on the internet...well, no”, I explained. “Not really kissing. You’re sort of touching your tongues together”. They both looked confused.“Show me”, Mike said, pulling out his phone.“You did look very drunk”, I said, quickly. “But it could also have been photo shopped. People are strange”. I opened google and searched for the photos. Mike and Noah leaned in to see.“That is so clearly photoshopped that I feel a bit embarrassed for you”, Mike smiled.(Arabella laughs)“Shut up”, I chuckled. “I wanted it to be true- ““Oh, look there’s one of Zander and Carter too”, Noah said, showing them another photoshopped image.“Seriously—are our fans okay?” Zander asked. “And why’s it all me?”“I think you’re quite obviously a fan-favourite for homosexual fantasies”, I grinned.“But why?”(Arabella giggles)“I guess you’re the prettiest?”“That’s Mike- ““Nah, too masculine- ““Wait”, Zander said, “you think I don’t look masculine?”“You’ve got more elven features. Who’s turn is it?” I asked, quickly to change the subject.(Both laugh)

Arabella: 11:40

Abort! Abort!

Nicole: 11:42

“Mine”, Jason came to my rescue for the second time that day. “I’ve never had anal sex”, he suggested. Everyone drank.“I assume you all gave it, but I’d be pretty into that”.“Very funny”. Mike looked curiously at me.“Hey...don’t even think it...”“You didn’t flag up no anal yesterday-“Mike complained.“That was before I felt the size of your dick”, I stated, plainly.(Both burst out laughing)

Arabella: 11:51

Whapowww!

Nicole: 11:53

Mike chuckled sexily and I thought my buttons might just start popping open by themselves.(Arabella bursts out laughing again)“Didn’t you just drink?” Jason enquired.“So?”, I asked. “I like it-it’s like the perfect balance between pain and pleasure”. Jason looked impressed. “You’re quickly becoming very interesting- “ I blushed deeply and unsuccessfully tried to hide it by rubbing my face as though I was tired.(Both laugh) It went really quiet. “Well—it’s not a bad thing”, I said, trying to rectify the situation. “Am I not allowed to be embarrassed?” They all started laughing again. Jason looked chuffed with himself.“Seriously, though I don’t think we should ever play with real alcohol”, I warned them, “I’m a slutty drunk- ““Duly noted”, Jason said, and Zander sniggered.“-and therefore, I think it’s time for me to go for a nap or something before I do something stupid. Is that okay, Mr. Solomon?”“You take a lot of naps”, Mike observed.“No”, I admitted, “I don’t actually take naps, although naps are good. It’s like now that I’m an adult I like a lot of stuff I didn’t like as a kid—like naps, spanking and eating my vegetables”.(Both laugh)

Arabella: 12:10

In that order?

Nicole: 12:12

In that order.“I’m confused”, Mike frowned, “so are you going to nap or not?”“No, I’m just a little overwhelmed so I was just going to hide in the bunk for a bit—"(Arabella sniggers)“Sure”. Mike got up so I could get out. “But don’t think I didn’t notice you didn’t call anyone Sir”.“Dude, I’m drunk on water right now-“I told him, playfully, “I don’t even know what anyone’s name is-““That was funny, so I’ll overlook it this once”, Mike smiled.“One point for me!” I called happily before falling onto the floor on my knees. “Fuck my life- “(Arabella laughs throughout this whole section)“Nicole, you don’t even need alcohol”, Mike complained.“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you”, I said, crawling forward. “Where’s the bunk?” Sighing, Mike picked me up from the floor. “You’re all awesome!” I called to the band as he guided me into the bunk.

Arabella: 12:25

Playing to the gallery

Nicole: 12:27

Pretty much.

Arabella: 12:29

And there we are. That was your fifth episode, Aqua Dooooom

Nicole: 12:31

Aqua Dooooom

Arabella: 12:33

So, yes, we really hope you enjoyed that episode and that you'll join us next week for Episode Six - Herding Cats

Nicole: 12:35

Herding Cats(Theme music plays out with lyrics)“…. Hanging on to everything you said. And everything you did was so wonderful! So unbelievable! What is this world without you? We’re hanging on to what you were, even if it hurts!...”