
Unruly Confessions
Two best friends host a wild podcast, telling a sexy fictional story of life on tour and beyond with 'The Band'. Please note that this podcast is for over 18s only.
Unruly Confessions
Chicken Tramezzini
This week, Nicole has dinner with The Band and their management...what could possibly go wrong? Find out in today's episode.
Get ready for a hearty laugh during a lively and humorous dinner scene where Nicole’s spontaneous antics lead to both awkwardness and entertainment, setting off playful banter in some and excasterbating underlying tensions in others.
As they share light-hearted banter about music and personal tastes, you'll get a glimpse into The Band's dynamic, and Nicole's attempts to fit into their world.
Nicole's story about her introduction to the band's music by her brother sparks amusing exchanges that ultimately ends in a ketchup-squirting incident that's both comical and nerve-wrecking. The Band do not help at all with their incessant teasing as the episode ends with Nicole being ordered to 'The Cabin'.
As usual, expect laughter, a bit of tension and a whole lot of anticipation!
La transcription en français : https://unrulyconfessionspodcast.wordpress.com/2024/10/14/unruly-confessions-episode-3-chicken-tramezzini-tramezzini-au-poulet/
La transcription en français (The French Transcipt) : Dans la description de l'épisode.
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Theme Music: Rat Head - Big Mouse Tree House
Written and performed by: Nicole van Niekerk (Singer), Steve van Niekerk (Lead Guitar & Backing Vocals), Rachel Espeute (Bass & Backing Vocals) & Bertie Atkinson (Drums)
https://music.apple.com/us/album/rat-head/1347222686?i=1347223114
Also available on Spotify and Bandcamp.
Unruly Confessions Ep 3 - Chicken Tramezzini
Arabella:The following podcast contains adult themes, graphic sexual content, strong language, alcohol and drug references, and some infrequent violence. Everything you need for a wild ride.
Nicole:Also, please do remember that this is a work of fiction, so if any of the characters are familiar to you, you find similarities with real people or their music, just know that they're all lightly inspired by many of our favourite bands, and they are completely fictional. So let us not, let us not get upset about this. (Nicole laughs)(Podcast theme music plays – Rat Head by Big Mouse Tree House) Welcome back to Unruly Confessions, I am one of your hosts Nicole van Niekerk
Arabella:And I’m your other host Arabella Gourlay Well, we left last week’s episode at a bit of an awkward moment with Carter voicing his concerns to The Band while Nikki was hiding in her bunk. But you know what? I think you handled that quite well.
Nicole:Ah, do you? Because I remember it slightly differently. I remember giving away all my power to this guy being a dick to me, by letting him know I think he's hot and, regardless of him being a dick, that I still would. What am I doing?
Arabella:I think, I think that's pretty obvious. Anyway, I mean, for fuck's sake, it's your favourite fucking band, you're on tour with them and, and, and you love a bit of fighting. It's like…
Nicole:Yep, I do.
Arabella:It’s like fucking foreplay to you.
Nicole:I know.(both laugh loudly) Just a little bit(Both still giggling)
Arabella:Just a little bit, but anyway, you're still, but still, you are on the bus, finally, and you're, and you're on tour with The fucking Band.
Nicole:That’s true
Arabella:I mean how batshit crazy is that.
Nicole:It is. And, and just so you guys know, this is just the beginning of the chaos and the hilarity that is about to ensue.(Nicole laughs)
Arabella:Exactly, and not forgetting all the fun we are going to have with them!(Arabella laughs dramatically)
Nicole:And by, by we, Bella means me and her when she finally arrives on tour short, in some time.
Arabella:Because I am, because I am, I am, I'm gonna be there people!
Nicole:Exactly if only The Band…
Arabella:Couldn't keep me away!
Nicole:Yeah
Arabella:She could not keep me away!
Nicole:If only The Band knew what they were in for exactly.(Both laugh a little)
Arabella:I know
Nicole:But luckily, they don't, because I think Mike would have been like na, na, na, na, na. This is a terrible idea for me.
Arabella:He'd be like abort, abort, abort.(Both laugh)
Nicole:Or would he?
Arabella:Worst decision ever(Arabella laughs)
Nicole:Or would he? Because maybe that's exactly what Mike's up for. Anyway, bless,
Arabella:One can hope
Nicole:We're not advertising ourselves very well if some actual band really wants to take us on tour, are we like(Nicole laughs)
Arabella:No, no, no, nope, I promise, we are not like that. No, no, no. That is not in any way shape or form how it may or may not go, nooooooo. Noooooooo(Nicole is still laughing)
Nicole:If you want to, if you, look, if you want your tour to be hilarious and amazing, invite us on your tour. If you want your tour to be boring, don't invite us on your tour.
Arabella:I totally second that. I totally second that.
Nicole:So, before we get on a freaking tangent of advertising ourselves for real tours, Arabella’s gonna recap again. Hold on to your knickers.(Nicole laughs)
Arabella:Oh god, here we go. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.(Arabella laughs) So last week we had episode number two, Pain in the Ass. So, it's the day after meeting Mike, and Nicole is at Sylvia's flat thinking there is no way on earth this tour is going to happen because, like, what the fuck, like, in what world? She receives a text from The Band's PA giving her one hour, just ONE, to get across London to Watford. I think that's kind of cruel, frankly. She gets there. Carter, the rhythm guitarist, is immediately annoyed and we have no idea why. Mike unfairly remarks on her tardiness, despite the fact that he only gave her one fucking hour. So, they get on the bus, and she meets The Band, which is (high pitched ahh sound) amazing. So, she also meets the Miller brothers, who are techies, slash roadies, although actually, they would kill me for saying that. But there you go. They go through the rules. Mike had time to write down his fetishes, but not time to give Nicole a call. Nicole reminds Mike that she is in fact a brat by slamming a beer on the table. She then gets herself a little bit overwhelmed by everything. So, she says she's going to go for a nap, but instead she's really just hiding in her bunk. She does this quite a lot. Carter discusses his annoyance with Mike and The Band, whilst Nicole can hear from her bunk and Nicole, you know, claps back a bit from the bunk. It's all very funny. Mike tells her to shut up and that she's supposed to be sleeping, and finally the bus gets a jiggle on.
Nicole:So, before we get into the third episode, Bella and I thought that it might be a good idea to remind everyone of the characters we've met thus far. So of course, there's me and there will be Bella she will be in a future episode and the people, we have met are, of course, The Band where we have Mike the frontman, Mike Solomon the frontman. We have Zander Masters, who's the lead guitarist.
Arabella:We have Carter Townsend, who's the rhythm guitarist, and Noah Nowak, who is the bassist.
Nicole:We have the wonderful Jason Shanahan; I'm obviously not showing favourites.(Slight chuckle from both) And the superhero Cajun, Billy Guilbeau, who is the head of security.
Arabella:As mentioned before, we have the Miller brothers, Mark and Jacob Miller, who are part of the crew, and the bus driver, Mike, not to be confused with frontman Mike.
Nicole:Frontman Mike, busman Mike(Nicole laughs)
Arabella:Yeah
Nicole:And we have the last members of the crew, Andrew Stevens, who we've actually not met but he has been mentioned, and that is the tour manager for The Band, and Melissa Casey, who is The Band's PA.
Arabella:And now for episode 3, Chicken Tramezzini(Podcast theme music plays - Rathead by Big Mouse Tree House)
Nicole:I opened my eyes. It was dark and I felt uneasy. I couldn’t remember at first, but then slowly Carter’s opinion floated back to me. What if I ruin the band by being here? I should avoid upsetting Carter in the future. I made up my mind then and there to listen to whatever Mike told me. I wondered(Arabella snorts a little laugh) I know, I know
Arabella:Never lasts long
Nicole:Like that’s going to happen. Yeah. Sure. Good try.(Both laughing) I wondered if he was still sleeping above me in the bunk. I listened for any sounds outside the bunk to alert me to anyone’s presence, but I couldn’t hear voices either. I couldn’t hear anything. It was very quiet. What had woken me up then? I couldn’t feel the vibrations of the bus anymore so assumed we had stopped moving. I decided bravely to go have a look outside the bunk, but when I turned my head to the left to get out of the bunk, I saw Zander’s head floating next to me.“Mr. Masters!” I exclaimed in shock. He laughed. “Peek-a-boo”.(Both chuckle a little) I propped myself up on my elbows. “What is it-sir?” He smiled. “You don’t have to call me that when Mike’s not around”. I giggled nervously. “I’d rather not take my chances”.“We’ve stopped for dinner”, he informed me. “Come on”.“I should stay here”, I cringed. “Let people cool down”.“People are cooled down”. He winked. “If by people, you mean Carter”. I slipped out of the bunk bed, reluctantly to follow him. There was no one on the bus, but Zander and me. I noted the bus driver, Mike was gone too as I followed Zander out of the bus. Once we were outside, I could immediately smell the sea.“Where are we?” I asked.“Folkestone”, he replied. “We thought we’d have dinner before retiring as we’re crossing to Calais very early tomorrow morning”.“Okay, Mr. Masters”. He sighed, audibly.“Look, it’s in the agreement”, I complained. “I can’t make everyone happy at the same time”. Fair! Like can I just?
Arabella:That is fair. Yeah
Nicole:Can I just big up myself and go, fair!(Nicole laughs)
Arabella:Yeah.
Nicole:We crossed over the parking lot next to the docks and walked towards a restaurant with a patio that overlooked the dark sea. The moon was reflecting on the black, still depths. I followed him through the restaurant to the patio. It was still just warm enough to sit outside. Walking through the restaurant, I noticed that a couple of people were pointing and whispering. I supposed it would be something I’d have to get used to on the tour. The rest of The Band, Billy and the bus driver were sitting around a wooden table. There was another man I hadn’t met before, but I knew who he was. He had thinning brown hair, weary brown eyes and was nearing his mid-sixties. The band’s manager, Andrew Stevens. Zander sat down at the very right end of the table. The earlier tension I felt was no longer there or they were better actors than I gave them credit for. Billy winked at me when I sat down between him and Zander. Andrew Stevens sat across from me with Mike on his left and Carter on his right. On Carter’s right was Jason with Noah across from him on Billy’s left.“I’m Andrew” Andrew Stevens said and held out his hand to me. I shook it. “Nicole”“Nice to meet you”.“Andrew’s the tour manager” Billy informed me unnecessarily. I nodded. “Yes, I know...I, uh- I’ve heard every single interview you’ve ever done”. A look of shock crossed by face as Andrew laughed.‘Fantastic first impression,’ I thought sarcastically, ‘well done me’. He was friendly enough unlike Carter who was glaring at me. I tried to ignore him while the rest of them discussed tour plans.“Is Melissa not supposed to be on this tour?” I asked the table. “I haven’t seen her yet.”“She drove with me,” Andrew replied, “she’s gone to bed. She never has a moment’s rest.” After a while, the waiter brought the menus, and Andrew turned the conversation to the previous night’s show.“Congrats on last night,” he said. “It was a fair show.” FAIR?! It was the most amazing show I’d ever seen in my life!“You were there last night, right, Nicole?” Andrew asked me suddenly. After a beat, I nodded. The way he said it I was sure he knew I was there, but he was merely being polite.(Nicole laughs followed by Arabella) I mean, of course you were there Nicole,
Arabella:Of course,
Nicole:Because I heard all the freaking things you got up to behind closed doors and trailers.
Arabella:Yeah
Nicole:Oh, what am I like?
Arabella:All the shenanigans.
Nicole:After a beat, I nodded. The way he said it I was sure he knew I was there, but he was merely being polite.“What did you think?”“Um—what did I think of—what?” I asked awkwardly. Zander and Jason were sniggering.“You like music, right?” Andrew continued.(Nicole and Arabella start laughing) you do like other things than these boys, right?
Arabella:You do, you do listen to the music, yes?
Nicole:“You like music, right?” Andrew continued.“Yes”, I said, searching for appropriate words, or just words that made sense. “I-”I looked around at the band whose eyes were all on me, waiting expectantly. Even Billy and Mike, the bus driver were watching me.“It was fine”. I looked down at my hands on the table.(Both burst out laughing) Ahhhhh Ahhhhh the mortification
Arabella:Ohhhhhhh
Nicole:Andrew raised his eyebrows. “Really?”“Yeah”, I said, nervously.“How about the sound?” he continued relentlessly.“Uh-”I glanced nervously at Mike. “I’m not really the right person to ask”.“Sure, you are”, Andrew grinned. “You must have seen a lot of shows, you’re a big fan”.“Yeah, but-”“I won’t hold what you say against you”, Mike assured me, “you can be honest”. I watched him for a while to make sure he was sincere. It didn’t help much. His face had taken on the cool mask, and I couldn’t interpret an emotion.“Honestly, the sound was good from where we were standing”, I said, suppressing the actual genuine rush I felt because of how brilliant it was. Indescribable, really. “But I purposefully choose to stand in the middle and slightly to the back at big shows because I know I have the sound from all sides there, and the bass isn’t overpowering”. I was desperately trying to change the subject and get the attention away from me. “Where are Mark and Jacob Miller?” I asked, quickly. Most of them just shrugged which I found rather peculiar. Andrew frowned, looking around. “Somewhere”.“What are the chances that they are up to no good?” I asked as the thought occurred to me.“Rather high”, Zander laughed.“Oh, dear”. Everyone laughed at my innocent choice of words.(Arabella laughs followed by Nicole) I mean
Arabella:Oh dear.
Nicole:Oh dear's quite a big change from all the other things they've heard out of my mouth so far
Arabella:Yes
Nicole:The waiter arrived to take our order.“So, what’s everyone having?” Andrew asked, bored. Every single head at the table turned to me. Of course, they’re letting me order first when I haven’t as much as glanced at the menu.“I would like a-“ Panic, panic. I flipped the menu open and scanned it hurriedly.“Yes, Nicole?” Andrew prompted. “You were saying-?”“A salad, right?” Mike asked mockingly.
Arabella:Rude
Nicole:“Excuse me?” What?
Arabella:I said rude
Nicole:So rude Mike!“Excuse me?”
I asked, raising my eyebrows, “do I look like I live off salads?” Before I could think, I jumped up, smacked my own bottom and asked:“Do you think this arse could take a beating if it only got salads?”(Arabella burst out laughing whilst Nicole sounds mortified) Oh my lord! Why? Why? I really want to say dear audience of listeners, I would really like to say this is not me, I
Arabella:Well
Nicole:This is exaggerated for the story, but, alas, this is me.
Arabella:Sure
Nicole:Oh my god, this is so me.
Arabella:It's so you. You would absolutely do that.
Nicole:I would completely lose my mind in front of important people in a restaurant. Yes, yes, I would.(Both take a deep sigh of acceptance and to calm the giggles)
Arabella:I love it.
Nicole:But who would I be without it? We must accept ourselves. The band were absolutely howling, including Mike but he gestured for me to sit down. “Can you take it down a notch, and save it for the band, and spare the crew and other working people from your antics”, he suggested, nodding at the waiter.(Both laugh)“Oh!” I gasped, “I’m so sorry, I completely forgot you were there”. I sat down, subdued. “I would like a Chicken Tramezzini”. I chose the first thing my eyes landed on.“And what may I get you to drink, madam?” the waiter asked me, shocked into being way too formal for the establishment.(still half laughing)“Um...a glass of white wine, please?”“Just bring a bottle, please”, Mike told the waiter. I mean, is he? I'm not sure this is wise of Mike, though, because
Arabella:No
Nicole:I'm already like this without the alcohol.
Arabella:Without it
Nicole:Why is he including the alcohol now? This is not…
Arabella:Well, it’s not all for you
Nicole:Oh right, that makes sense. Sorry
Arabella:it's not like you wrote this or anything
Nicole:I cannot remember anything I ever write. Um.
Arabella:I know it's hilarious.
Nicole:I frowned at him but didn’t say anything. Everyone else ordered their food while I silently tried to interpret Mike’s expression. Finally, the waiter left after the long order.“Very sorry, everyone”, I apologised to the table again. “I don’t get out much”, (Both laugh) I made a self-deprecating joke.“No worries”, Andrew said. “I do manage a heavy metal band”. Okay, that's sweet of him. That helps.
Arabella:Yeah
Nicole:“You ordered a bottle of wine?” I asked Mike. “Are you drinking wine tonight?”“It’s for you”, he replied simply. You see, Bella, it's for me.
Arabella:That's true. I did forget. See, I forget too, I forget.(Nicole laughs)
Nicole:I looked at Zander for clarification, but he just smiled.“Are you trying to get me drunk, Mike?” Once the words had left my mouth, I suddenly wondered if it was an appropriate line of questioning in front of the management.(Arabella chuckles)“No”, Mike replied, locking his eyes with mine. “I wouldn’t need it”.(Dramatic pause as we fan ourselves “Oooof” escapes from Arabella) I blushed unintentionally. Someone whistled. Zander chuckled next to me, and I was vaguely aware of Jason sniggering as I crossed my arms silently.“Andrew”, Mike said, not taking his eyes off me. “Are we staying on the bus tonight, or-?” Andrew shook his head. “No, we’re staying in a bed and breakfast across the road”, he replied. “Nice and close so we can leave right after breakfast...it would take about six hours to get to Paris...so if we left by eight-we’d make it to Paris by one”.“Are we sharing rooms?” he enquired further.“They’re separate cabins”, Andrew told him. “Any particular reason you’re asking?”“Yeah”.(Arabella chuckles) Mike’s eyes flicked to mine, but he didn’t elaborate. I wondered whether Andrew knew the ins and outs of why I was on tour, but he answered my question shortly after.“I didn’t book any extra accommodation for Nicole”, he told Mike, “I assumed she’d be staying with you”.“She’ll stay with me”, Mike confirmed.“I’m really sorry that my presence is complicating matters”, I told Andrew.“Don’t worry about it”, he told me, then glanced at Mike, “you didn’t invite yourself on tour”.
Arabella:So true
Nicole:“And I appreciate what you do, Andrew”, Mike grinned. I kept my eyes fixed on my hands as to not catch anyone’s eyes, but I could feel all the pairs of eyes on me.
Arabella:All the eyes
Nicole:All of the eyes.
Arabella:All the eyes
Nicole:I mean, there's a lot of eyes if you count everyone at the table.
Arabella:Yes.
Nicole:“Really got this one eating out of the palm of your hand, don’t ya?” Andrew smiled.(Arabella lets a giggle escape) Nice, thanks I caught Carter’s eye by mistake, and he glared at me.(Theme music plays signalling a break) The waiter brought the wine and I poured myself a glass, glad for something to do. After my first couple of sips, Mike spoke. “You’ve been quiet for a while. When I said turn it down a notch, I didn’t mean you had to be silent”.
I took a sip of wine and answered:“I don’t have anything to say”.“Mike told me you’re a teacher”, Andrew said.‘What a dick move, Mike!’ I thought.(Nicole chuckles) But he didn't. It was obviously part of the power dynamic. It wasn't to be an actual douche.“Yes, but I’m mainly a musician and writer”, I said, drinking more wine.“You’re a brave girl”, Andrew said over the guys’ laughter. “I find it hard to survive them sometimes”. Then he laughed at his own joke.(Nicole laughs)“Does anyone want some wine?” I offered the table.“I’ll have some”, Andrew said. I poured him a glass.“Do you have any siblings?” Andrew asked, accepting the glass from me. “Thank you”.“I have two younger brothers”.“Hey!” Zander said, suddenly. “How’s Silvia?”“She’s great”, I said. “How did you know she’s a friend of mine?”“Besides that, she spoke about you at the Meet-And-Greet-I assumed you knew the person you shared your prize with”.(Bella laughs)“Oh, of course”.“She’s a cool chick”. I laughed. “She’ll be glad to hear that”. The food arrived and we started eating. I was glad to be able to concentrate on eating and not expected to think of something impressive to say. Instead, I listened with interest to the band discussing their new album. It was information not known to the public yet so I tried to catch as much of it as I could without making it obvious that I was listening. So, it was obviously very obvious
Arabella:Yes
Nicole:I looked up when it went strangely silent. Everyone’s eyes were once again on me.“What?” I asked, looking around at them, shyly.“You were singing,” Jason enlightened me. “One of our songs”.“Oh, no!” I said, loudly. “Was I singing that aloud? Dammit”. There was a general chuckle.(Arabella laughs)“You’ve got a good voice, Nicole”, Jason smiled. “I’ll give you that”.“Thank you”.“Are we your favourite band?” Noah teased.(continued laughing)“Oh, hilarious”, I said and rolled my eyes.“What is it you like about us?” Zander asked.“Ah...come on!”“It’s not that hard”, Mike said. “Just answer the question”. The arrogance. I sighed. “Everything”.“How descriptive”, Mike breathed. I sighed again. Wow, they just want me to like. Praise them, don't they?
Arabella:They do, they do they do. It's like oh, come on, tell us how great we are.
Nicole:Okay, fine, I will.“The amazing technical skill...guitar solos...the lyrics are some of the most intelligent things I’ve ever heard-very poetic-but my favourite instrument is drums-even though I don’t play them. And the band has the most creative drums”.“How did you first hear of us?” Jason asked. “I like asking fans that”. I stared at him for a while, thinking how to answer his question.“So, what’s the story?” he pushed.“Actually, it was ages ago”, I admitted. I poured a new glass of wine and took a couple of sips. “Just after the release of your third album-my brother introduced me to the music”. I paused too long, and Mike prompted, “is that it?”(Both laugh)
Arabella:Hurry it along would ya.
Nicole:“Patience, please-“ I smiled. “My brother called me over and said, look at this band-it was on Scuzz on the TV, wow, I just gave my age away, that doesn’t exist anymore...So my brother said, I think you’d think their hot”.(Nicole and Arabella laugh) There were some murmurs and chuckles around the table. As you’ve just heard I blushed, angry at myself for not filtering properly.“So, you think we’re hot?” Jason smirked.“Obviously, it’s clear by now that I think you are all hideous”.
Arabella:Naturally(Both burst out laughing)
Nicole:Satisfied that they were all laughing with me again, and not at me, I cleared my throat. “But it was the music! It was incredible, super unique. That’s it. Not an incredible story”. But somehow, I managed to make it a freaking monologue though.
Arabella:Ah, that is your, that is your single… (Blows a raspberry)
Nicole:That is my single…what?
Arabella:A, a, a, A unique talent of yours.
Nicole:Yes, because you were about to say that is your single talent and I was about to go, excuse me very much?!
Arabella:And I was like no, that's not even correct. My brain just went uh no, what? And then died.(Both have somewhat laughed their way through this exchange)
Nicole:“What’s your favourite song?” Zander asked. I started listing some of the songs I liked the most, a lot of them written by Jason. It’s not very common for drummers to write that many songs.“Jay, you are a genius”, I told him when I’d finished rambling about how great they were. Jason chuckled appreciatively.“I wonder why women like those songs so much”, Noah commented. “It should be too grotesque for the female appeal”.(Arabella blows a raspberry of what the fuckness and they both laugh) And agreeing with Bella is Jason who says“Who’ve you been dating?” Jason asked Noah with raised eyebrows, making me laugh a little too loudly.
I tried to draw attention away from it by adding:“Women are way more into the things you think we dislike-like sex for example, it’s scientifically proven that women think about it more than men do”.
Arabella:YES FOR SCIENCE!
Nicole:I mean look why we are here! That's not written. That's me. Yeah, breaking the fourth wall.(Arabella ‘Wooo’s’)“Right”, Andrew said, probably uncomfortable with where the conversation was going. “Six-thirty sharp for breakfast”, he told the band. “Don’t stay up too late. I’m going to bed”.“Me, too”, Billy said.(Nicole laughs)
Arabella:Trying to get the fuck out of there
Nicole:Yeah When it was just the band and I, I assumed the game continued.“By the way, Nicole”, Mike said. “Your dad called while you were asleep”.“What?” I demanded. “Did YOU answer it?” I completely forgot about the rules.“Yeah”, he said with half a smile. Some of the other band members were chuckling.“I told him your mouth was busy and incapable of speaking”,(Arabella laughs like ohhh shit!) he answered, confidently.
Before I could start to scream at him, Noah said:“Mike’s joking, Nicole”.“Oh, well haha”, I said, still a little annoyed.“What does it matter?” Mike smiled infuriatingly. “You’re thirty-three”.“You do realise fathers, no matter their daughters’ age, don’t want anything put in their daughters’ mouths besides food and the blessed words of Jesus Christ”.(Both burst out laughing) They all burst out laughing so intensely that I was unable to stop myself laughing along with them.“So, wait, my dad didn’t phone?” I asked once everyone had calmed down.“Your Dad phoned, but nobody answered”, Zander told me. “We just saw the caller ID”.“Well, you scared me”. I picked up the tomato-ketchup and mock squeezed it in Mike’s direction, not realising the cap was open, and it squirted across his face and down his shirt.(Arabella laughs)
Arabella:Shit
Nicole:Shit is right(She laughs) I gasped and jumped up from the table like a reflex. I didn’t notice anyone else around me anymore. My eyes were fixed on Mike who was examining the damage.“I’m so sorry, Sir!” I stuttered, frantically. “It just—I didn’t realise it was open—I—“He fixed me with a stare, and I fell instantly silent. It was silent while Mike wiped his face with the serviette except for Zander and Jason who were desperately trying to hide that they were canning themselves from opposite sides of the table. He stood up, watching me intently. “I expect you in the cabin in twenty minutes”. Then he calmly turned and left. I am in for it
Arabella:Oh my god, so much
Nicole:I stood staring after him until he disappeared into the darkness as he crossed the road. I unfroze and sat back down slowly in my seat. Every one of the four remaining band members had let go of hiding their laughter.“Well done”, Noah said and leaned over, holding his hand up to high-five me. I just stared at him, immobilised so he high-fived Jason across the table instead. I stared at my wine glass in silence.“Hey”, Zander said, nudging me. “You okay?”“No”, I said, softly. “I’m going to be in so much trouble”. That time every single person at the table burst out laughing loudly. I stared flabbergasted at them. “Well, thanks—I’m glad you find humour in my demise”. They laughed even louder.“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Zander asked smiling, “you signed up for this kind of thing?”“I know, it’s just normally I don’t get in trouble this quickly”, I explained. “He’s going to kill me”.“Don’t be stupid”, Jason chuckled.(Arabella has not stopped laughing thought this ordeal) Zander agreed. “Mike, won’t kill you...He might paralyse you though”. Carter even seemed to be enjoying himself then, or maybe he was just tipsy. I breathed a deep sigh and stood up.“Hey, where you going?” Jason mumbled.“I’m supposed to go to the cabin-““I’d have some more wine before I go if I were you”, Zander said and as I turned to him, he winked.“What?”“You know—“ He spoke in Jason’s direction. “It can act as an anaesthetic”.“You guys are not comforting me at all”.“We’re just playing with you”, Noah smiled. “Fuck, why are you so terrified anyway?”“Don’t tell us you’ve been hiding you’re a virgin”, Carter toyed.(Both are laughing)“I’m thirty-three, dude”.“Right, but like you don’t act it”.“Nice, Carter, very nice”.“It’s Mr. Townsend”.“Oh, don’t you start!” He held up his hands in surrender.“I’m just—I don’t know—it’s just nerves”.“So, if it was anyone of us—it would be the same?” Noah asked, trying to understand.“Yes, some of you, I may be even worse”.“Oh, who’s that?” Jason asked to my distress.“And that’s my cue to leave”.(Nicole starts to laugh as Arabella is still giggling her arse off) The band decided it would be best to walk to the cabins with me considering I had no idea where I was going. I said goodnight, Jason and Carter as they drifted off towards their cabin. Noah and Zander’s cabin were just next to Mike’s. Outside of their cabin, we paused for a moment.“Goodnight, guys”, I said.“Night”, Zander said, leaning against the door of the cabin with a grin on his face.“What?” I asked, uncomfortably.“Nothing”, he said, still grinning. “Night”. He went into the cabin, but Noah stayed. I frowned at him, curiously. He stood silently watching me for a while. I treaded around in the dirt, waiting and wondering if I should just walk away or say goodnight again or something.“Are you going to be okay?” he finally asked, and I almost sighed out loud with relief.“Of course,”, I said and nodded frantically too many times.“He won’t do anything you don’t want to do”.“I know that”. Noah laughed as if he knew what I was thinking. “I promise you. I’ve known him my whole life”. I nodded. “Thank you”.“Can I ask you something?” I nodded again.“Don’t worry—it’ll be confidential”.“Are you going to ask me if I’m a virgin again...’cause it’s a bit silly really”. He laughed. “No...Do you want to have sex with Mike?” I barked a laugh. “Is that the confidential question?”“Yeah”.“Of course,” I assured him. “It’s just a bit surreal that my favourite band’s vocalist would want me”. Noah chuckled, and cast a very slow, deliberate look down my body.
Arabella:We know that look, we all know that look.
Nicole:Every woman alive knows that look.“Are you kidding? Who wouldn’t?”“Thank you”, I smiled, “Confidence severely boosted”.“But really—I’d have sex with anything”. He flashed a cheeky smile.“Great
Arabella:Aaand take it away
Nicole:“Great, confidence restored to normal levels”.“All settings of confidence levels”, he smiled. “I’m your man. See you in the morning”. As I reached Mike’s cabin door, I turned back. Noah who was still waiting there, raised his eyebrows in question.“Night, Mr. Nowak”.“I’m Noah, thank you very much”, he said friendly.“It’s in the agreement and I’m in enough trouble as it is-““Woman—just relax! I can hear you breathing all the way from there!”(Arabella laughs) I took a deep breath. “Night, Noah”. I hoped he would leave then.“Night, Nicole”. He closed the cabin door behind him. This is absurd. I want to have sex with Mike Solomon! All I want is for him to take advantage of me, so why am I so damn scared? I took another steadying breath and entered the cabin.
Arabella:And that's all we've got for today.
Nicole:I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry because every single one of you I hope at least a lot of you are going what? No, not here? Enter the cabin, what's happening in the cabin? And that's exactly
Arabella:We want to know what happens in the cabin.
Nicole:That's exactly what we want. We're playing with you.
Arabella:Yes, we are.
Nicole:Oh, look at that Bella.
Arabella:Our little toy.
Nicole:We are brats and we are Doming. We are Doming the internet.
Arabella:Hey, check us out!(Both laugh) Well after that…
Nicole:All jokes aside
Arabella:We hope
Nicole:All jokes aside guys, we appreciate you so much
Arabella:So so much, and we really hope you tune in next week for episode four. Oh actually, what's the title name?
Nicole:I believe it's called Knee-Jerk Reaction
Arabella:You are right Knee-Jerk Reaction
Nicole:I remembered something for once great
Arabella:Great
Nicole:Yeah. So, as Bella says, next week for episode four, we hope to see you all there, even though we don't actually see you
Arabella:See you
Nicole:Um, yeah. So we love you, we really do. We really appreciate you. See you next week and uh, have an orgasmic day!(both laugh into the music)(Theme music plays out with lyrics)“…. Hanging on to everything you said. And everything you did was so wonderful! So unbelievable! What is this world without you? We’re hanging on to what you were, even if it hurts!...”